Magi's Random Misspells
by Silent Magi
Summary: So many wonderful Harry Potter ideas, so little time... Give this a read if you like. Any and all ideas brewed forth here, are free to good homes with proper credit.
1. The Unspoken Secret

_It is early morning, and though I long to slumber, that respite is cruelly denied to me. While I await the sweet embrace of rest, I find my mind reflecting on the years. There were times I drove you insane, and you returned the favor with interest, but I dare say that I'd not trade a single moment of that for a lifetime free of these thoughts._

_The truth is when I reflect on the past, I think about how we first met on the train all those years and adventures ago. Of anyone on the train you could have talked to, you chose me. I was but a homely child then, with wild, untameable hair and a heart to match. You never could have known how my heart raced when I found out we had been sorted into the same house._

_We had a rough patch then, though I would blame Ron and his mouth instead of either of us, I must take blame as it is due. My heart threatened to leap from my chest and out of my mouth, in a flourish of poetry proclaiming your diving nature. And so, like a coward I chose silence._

_But then came that fateful Halloween, and with it's feast the troll. I had thought us doomed, until your fast thinking saved us. There began our friendship anew, in a baptism of fire, creating the diamond I cherish to this day. And through summers of silence, adventures, narrow escapes, and squabbles, we remained strong and faithful to one another._

_It has been many years that I have kept this secret, and though I lack the courage to speak it out loud, not for fear of rejection, for I know in my heart of hearts that you would never let my foolish romantic notions ruin our relationship. I speak it not, for fear of what it would do to you. I know you would play the strong one, pretending that what others say doesn't trouble you, but I know it would. Slowly it would worry at your mind, and eventually cause you great pain._

_It is for the very same love I feel for you, that I dare not confess it to you verbally. Yes, it's pathetic isn't it? For all I'm praised for being a true Gryffindor, I cannot brave the world to say: "I love you, Hermione."_

_Some savior of the Wizarding World, huh? I've written this so many times, but was never able to send it. I suppose this one will end up with the others, hidden away in the secret compartment of my old school trunk, where the bottom lining came loose during the Tri-Wizard tournament._

_If this letter should find your hands, know that I'll always love you, and will do my best to never let harm come to you._

_Eternally in love with you,_

_Harry James Potter_

Harry sighed as he laid down the quill he'd scribed the note and envelope with. Same as always, he sealed the letter away and sat down to look at it. It was now four in the morning, and he hadn't been able to sleep at all. It had been the same for the past three months now, ever since the last funeral for those that died in the final battle against Voldemort. He decided he needed a break from the world, and secluded himself away in a cottage that had been his family's for years. Only one person knew where to find him, and as his secret keeper, could be the only one to tell.

That same selfless woman that he hid the biggest secret in the world from. He knew that she'd be happy if he told her, but she was with Ron now, and he didn't want to trouble their already rocky relationship. He'd done enough during the hunt for the Horcruxes when Ron had left them, and he and Hermione had gotten too close. Far, far too close for just friends. That was a secret they would never speak about again, and that both would guard with their best abilities in Occulmancy. The dance, the kiss, the long nights of talking about their fears and dreams for after the war. He'd nearly told her then, but Ron and Hermione were still technically together, and he couldn't hurt his best mate like that.

And so again he chose silence. Silence, save that of the quill etching on paper. He'd written over a hundred letters, and each one professed his love to Hermione. Some of them went so far back as to their first year, before the troll incident. Letting out a yawn, he sealed the letter in the envelope, and leaned back in his chair. It was peaceful out here alone, the only thing that would have made it perfect was to have Hermione sitting around, reading one of her books.

Oh cruel fate, that denied him the woman he wanted. Closing his eyes, he never realized he'd fallen asleep, his light snoring filling the room.

So deep was his slumber that he didn't even stir when a soft crack sounded outside, and barely even registered when Hermione slammed open the door, hauling in a suitcase and a bag of groceries. She was obviously upset, and angry. But one glimpse of Harry slumped over in his chair, told Hermione that he needed sleep more than she needed to talk.

However, it was while she watched him slumber that she saw in his hand a letter addressed to her. Lightly pulling it free of his hands, she took it into the guest bedroom with her suitcase and sat down on the bed. She would talk to him after he woke up, so for now, she'd just read the letter he was going to send her, and maybe get a bit more sleep after her anger at Ron burned off.

Flipping open the flap, she wondered briefly why she thought of Pandora's box. Shaking it off, she began reading Harry's message.


	2. Worthless

Worthless... It was a word that he had heard for nearly his entire life. However, never before had he felt that that the word was quiet so accurate. The one man that had never considered him worthless was now dead.

Gone.

He had watched as the light faded from the man's eyes, slipping into his death.

And now he was left all alone.

The man he had once considered his best friend was gone, having betrayed him again. And the woman that he had loved was gone, long since buried and cold in her grave. She had died because of him, and there was nothing he could ever do to fix it, however hard he tried.

No, Severus Snape had lost everything he had ever wanted, all because he was worthless.


	3. Lost Childhood

A challenge from Selonianth Shinjitsu off of a forum discussion found in the Magi's Randomness Forum, the link can be found on my profile, feel free to stop by.

* * *

Harry'd seen many things in his years at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, but the Room of Lost Things had always been a surprise no matter how many times he went into it. This time he went as far as he could, and found a curious glowing ball sitting in a corner all alone and removed from everything else.

At first Harry ignored it, but when it started following him around, he turned and knelt next to it. There was a warm feeling building in his chest as he looked at the faint golden glow rolling off of the sphere in waves. Looking past the glow he found himself watching the actions of a young boy laughing and playing with friends.

There was a young girl with frizzy brown hair dancing at the edge of his vision, giggling and laughing as the boy chased her through the woods that seemed to sparkle with life and magic. There was also a blonde girl that seemed to be watched closely by a woman that could only be her mother.

Suddenly the scene flashed to a seventh birthday party, where the boy sat before a massive cake, with mounds of presents beyond it, and those two girls that struck a familiar cord with him for some reason. They cheered after he blew out his candles, only for two to relight and then the two of them blushed from some voice he couldn't see.

Whatever it was that was being said had the child whipping his head around and shaking as though he was yelling something loudly at the other speaker, but still Harry could not hear a thing. All he could do was stare at the grinning visage of his father and mother laughing at him. This was a vision of his childhood, the childhood he'd lost when Voldemort attacked him on Halloween.

Without even thinking about it fully, he reached out to touch his parents, to somehow make the dream into a reality. His hand paused as he saw his godfather walk in and elbow his father hard with a laugh, that set off his parents again. Stifling back a sob, he realized he'd seen this scene before.

His cousin had been given this childhood by Harry's uncle and aunt, would Harry really have been just like Dudley if his parents hadn't been killed? Was he really a better person without his parents around for most of his life? Even as he tried to turn away, the scene shifted again, this time with Harry next to the stack of presents, but instead of tearing into them like a rabid beast, he handed out one to each of the girls before opening one labeled for himself.

That... that was something his cousin never did, and it only continued to turn out that way as the pile was dispersed among the three children. There was a lot of talking that he couldn't hear, but it seemed that the presents were loved by the entire trio. The brunette girl seemed to love the books she got in droves, as well as the children's guitar. The blonde seemed to get stuffed animals that Harry couldn't even imagine being real, along with another guitar.

Harry received a football, some tickets to sports, books, and his own guitar.

It was as though all his wishes and dreams growing up were coming true, even the foolish one of having Hermione as his friend growing up. Things he'd only seen in flashes in the Mirror of Erised during his infatuation with it back in his first year. Here they were being played out in a little ball that told him it was possible, if only Voldemort had been defeated fully the first time.

Turning away he wiped the tears that stung his eyes, it was impossible to have that now. So why should he stay here and watch it? It would be like viewing the mirror all over again. He could waste his entire life right here, watching another version of himself living the life he'd always wished for.

Pushing himself up, he turned to leave, only to find the orb trailing after him like a lost little puppy. Turning back around, he knelt next to it and sighed heavily. "You can't come with me... you don't belong to me... you belong to that happy little boy..."

The orb seemed to shrink in on itself, before doing something Harry had never expect it to be able to do. It leaped up and socked him hard in the chest. As he fell back, darkness overcame him, making him realize that he was entirely too familiar with this sensation.

As his vision returned to him, he found himself staring up at the hideous man that had ruined his life in one single night. Voldemort was gloating over him as he prepared to cast Avakadava, and there was nothing Harry could do to stop him. For some reason his body was too weak to even sit up, and any time he tried to speak it came out as a confusing burbling.

However, unlike the green beam of light he'd expected, two twin streaks of light blasted into the back of Voldemort, causing him to explode in a shower of guts and gore. His cry wasn't entirely limited to his body's lack of vocalization at that point, quieted only a moment later when a red head leaned over his crib and carefully lifted him out. "Shhh... it's okay Harry, mommy's here..."

"He's safe Lily... but... his sitter is..." James spoke quietly as several apparations sounded off downstairs. Sighing heavily his father came over and gently stroked Harry's head. "It seems Severus was right about that rat..."


	4. AIMS

Harry James Potter, age 10 years, 11 months, and 25 days had just received a very large surprise when he'd collected the mail for the Dursley's today. For the first time in his life, he'd received a letter, and more than that, a _second_ letter was in the mail with it. One was a very ornate, and gaudy piece of mail that his uncle and aunt pulled away from in terror. The other, the other one looked like nothing more than a normal business sized envelope, save for the return address. He'd never heard of the American Institute of Magical Studies, but that one also caused his guardians to pull away.

The only reason they hadn't destroyed them already, was the normal looking envelope had ordered to be put down the very instant that Vernon touched it. And so on the kitchen table it laid, with the other one for fairness, waiting for Harry to open them.

Starting with the shiny, ornate one he frowned as he read it over. It was long-winded, boring, and to be honest made the magical world sound like it was doing a favor by accepting him in. Putting it down, he tried to figure out how he was supposed to find one of those owls to send the letter back in the first place. Passing it over to his uncle and aunt he shrugged, and opened the more mundane one. This one he liked a little more, the language was simpler, and it treated him like he mattered.

_Dear Mister Potter,_

_We here at the American Institute of Magical Studies, or AIMS would be very much honored if you would consider us for your future education. We offer a progressive study package made of both magical and more mundane lessons, to ensure that your future in either world. We are a fully accredited boarding school system, and would like to invite you and your family to an open house of our new campus in Honolulu, Hawaii this coming Saturday. Please send a letter back in the self-addressed envelope with how many people we can expect to come, and we will have your tickets waiting at the terminal under your name._

_Again, I hope to see you this coming Saturday, and please remember to pack some swimwear as the open house will not take the entire two days of your stay._

_Sincerely,_

_Stuart Dent_

_Dean of Student Affairs, AIMS_

Blinking owlishly he looked over the letter again, and handed it over to his Uncle, who smirked as he pointed one of his chubby fingers at some part of the letter. "Boy, I trust you know what you have to do now..."

"Umm... get in my cupboard and pretend this never happened?" Harry asked, hoping to not piss his uncle off too much after having gotten the letters from what he had referred to 'those freaks again'.

Harry'd never seen his uncle smile much in his life, but this time when he did, it filled him with dread, terror, and a little bit of nervousness, and so he began to back away slightly… "No... What you are going to do is sit down, fill out an acceptance to this AIMS place, and a rejection to Hogwarts. Then you are going to be ready for your aunt to help you pick out your best clothes for this trip. And you had better become a contributing member of society, because I'm going to kick you out as soon as you're accepted."

Harry had thought the letters would bear nothing but seven years of panic, terror, and horror. But here it was separation from the nightmare that had been his life thus far. If he hadn't been given orders to fulfill, he would have danced for joy.

* * *

At a secret location somewhere in the deepest parts of the Scottish Highlands; a headmaster was suddenly surprised to find that for the first time in his considerably long memory people were replying with refusal to their Hogwarts invitations. It was only two first years, and a pair of second years, but the senders had actually made him worry the most.

First and foremost was the coming prize pupil of Hogwarts, Harry Potter, the vanquisher of Voldemort. He was to come to Hogwarts and complete his education in the grand tradition of the Potter line, where he would have many misadventures and near death experience over the brief seven year stay, before joining the ministry at some high level, courtesy of Dumblebore himself. He would then marry a red-haired wife, have a child with her, and die shortly afterward, leaving that child in the care of relatives.

And Dumbledore had spent so long making sure that the misadventures would be just enough to push Harry along, but not overwhelm him too. No, he had to go and visit young Mr. Potter this coming Sunday at his house and explain very carefully exactly why he had to come to Hogwarts. It was only proper that he help the poor, confused young man understand the way his life is to go.

Next on his list in order of most surprising to least, was the Weasley twins Fred and George, whom had written to him about accepting a scholarship at another school, primarily to lessen their family's fiscal troubles. The letter from Arthur explaining that he supported their decision, and that Molly was in agreement settle things with Dumbledore. After all, they were bright young lads, but if they went to the other school, then he wouldn't have to deal with their antics anymore. He was quite sure that Minerva would celebrate the loss of the latest cause of her gray hairs.

Finally was a pleasantly elucidate letter from a young muggle-born witch that had explained in the midst of all her talk that she'd previously been offered and accepted a place at another school in the states and would be starting to attend there come the fall. He had never heard of this American Institute of Magical Studies, but he was quite sure that it would provide her a wonderful foundation for building upon her future life as a witch.

He would certainly have to look into this school, and find out if it might be possible to improve Hogwarts from them, and perhaps an exchange of ideas would be beneficiary to the good of the Wizarding World. Besides, didn't Minerva have relatives in America? Or was that Pomona?

Pulling out a lemon drop, he began to suck on it lightly with a wide smile on his face. Yes, he would have to continue acting in the best interest of the Wizarding World. And to do that, he had to continue gaining knowledge and power to fight against the dark lords and those darn sock thieves.

Ah, how he missed his nice warm woolen socks that his dear sister Ariana had made for him after she lost control of her magic. But alas, when sock stealing snorkacks come after your socks, they are truly gone forever.

But he was going to change that.

* * *

AN: Dunno, what do you think? Should I make this into a full fic? Lemme know your thoughts.


	5. Mary Sue

Mary Sue Edwards was cursed.

This was what she knew and believed to be true, but the curse prevented anyone else from seeing it. She was trapped in an illusion of perfection that no one could see past, to know the real her. She could sit down in the middle of the Great Hall, picking her nose and farting out the tune for 'God Save the Queen' and people would think she was giving a small concert for the students and teachers.

That's why she was wearing her "I'm going to rape you!" shirt with its neon yellow letters almost glowing against the black background. The neon purple strap-on dildo she was wearing over her pants should have indicated her intentions to carry out the promise on her shirt, but so far she hadn't even been given a second look.

She had stood in front of Professor McGonagall for half an hour talking with her, and the stern deputy headmistress hadn't so much as batted an eye! SHE SHOULD HAVE KNOCKED HER HOUSE'S POINTS INTO THE STONEAGE!

So here she was, sitting at the Hufflepuff table, eating a bowl of sugar frosted sugar chunks dejectedly. She didn't even want to be here at Hogwarts, all she wanted to do was sit on her computer and play games.

It was when a whump of a cushion being sat on to her right side that she even started paying attention to the world around her again. And when the Luna asked, "Is it a threat of rape or a promise?" that she knew someone had seen through her curse.


	6. Absolute Changes

Since coming to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, there were a few absolutes that Harry had come to rely upon to keep relative sanity. And they had proven true for what it was worth.

Absolute the First: Ronald Bilius Weasley was a jealous prat without a lick of common sense that a muggle up bringing would give. It wasn't really his fault, but he seemed to be suffering from a bad case of youngest son syndrome, along with his feelings of entitlement it made it hard for the young man to just let it go. He was something like a toddler to Hermione and Harry, so they took the role of being parents.

Absolute the Second: Hermione Jane Granger was a book lover, and always seemed to light up at the thought of learning something new. This was by far one of his favorite traits about the girl he'd come to love as a sister since first year. She was a steady rock that he could always rely on for help in his times of need, and for that he was eternally grateful.

Absolute the Third: Wizards lacked what seemed to be common sense to muggles.

Absolute the Fourth: The Dursleys would always be a cluster-fuck of bullies with nothing better to do than make his life a living hell, just for being born to two magical parents and exhibiting magical traits early on in life. Dudley seemed to be developing out of this mentality, but even still Harry wasn't ready to break this absolute yet.

Absolute the Fifth: Every year he would be put into life threatening peril for the good of the Wizarding World. Oh it was only the cost of being the hero in an apparent sociopath's fantasy world, years of abuse and neglect, followed by years of torture, attempts on his life, seeing handfuls of people dying in front of his eyes, and not a therapist for miles. Which leads nicely to...

Absolute the Sixth: Any help he could possibly find to escape his tormented existence would vanish at the end of the school year, and he'd forget about any possible means of contacting them. As an example the mirrors that he was supposed to check in with Sirius had been strapped to the lid of his school trunk while he led the raid on the Ministry of Magic that ended with his godfather passing through the veil.

And finally was one he'd had for his entire life.

Absolute the Seventh: Harry James Potter was a black-haired male with a scar shaped like a lightning bolt on his forehead.

Of these, none had outright changed, and only one had started showing signs of being strained. So he continued to cling to these as a basis of his relative sanity in the Wizarding World. So imagine his surprise when one morning he woke up to find that one of his Absolutes had been completely and utterly revoked.

He had gotten up before his dorm-mates like normal, showered, brushed his teeth, and gotten dressed pretty much on automatic. So while he knew that he felt something odd this morning, he put it off on staying up late the night before with Hermione researching a long forgotten curse to build a better History of Magic essay.

It wasn't until he made it to the common room, and greeted the girl from last night that he put something as wrong. She was gaping at him openly, causing him to look down and see what was wrong. It was then that he noticed two things.

First, he had breasts. Two spherical mounds of fatty tissues, flesh, and various other bits that he couldn't remember from biology class back in Elementary school, standing out proudly from where his formerly flat chest had been.

The second, directly related to the first actually, was that they seemed to be a bit larger than Hermione's.

Now this second might not come off as important to anyone, but he was... well at least he used to be a male student with hormones raging. And thus his mind traveled down the road that many such minds would in the scenario presented.

Shortly after it sunk in that he was staring down at his own breasts, he did perhaps the most natural thing he could think of. "Hermione," he stated in a soft, lilting voice that he couldn't recognize as his own. "Please get the headmaster and Madam Pomfrey... I'm going to faint now..."

And so he did.

And thus another day at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry began.


	7. MCIS

_November 1, 1981 – Godric's Hollow_

Alastor Moody had been an Auror for many years, and in that time he'd seen many examples of excellent work by the Aurors he worked with. Today was most certainly _**not**_ one of them. After all, the blundering clods had completely destroyed any evidence that was possible to prove what he had suspected.

And his suspicions were two fold. First was that others had been and gone from the house since the crime than just the investigation squad of the Aurors. This was something of a given, since the baby Harry Potter was completely missing from the scene, as was the wand of the vile Lord Voldemort. Next was the simple suspicion that they hadn't seen the last of the Dark Lord, because something had emerged from those ashes. However, since the idiots moved the ashes, any evidence was completely destroyed.

Slipping on a pair of gloves, he picked up a piece of wood that had fallen into the ashes. There was a fingerprint mark formed in the ashes, and he knew that it belonged to the intruder on the scene. He would find out who this fingerprint belonged to, even if he had to inspect every finger on the planet to find them. A quick tucking into a plastic bag that he had in his pocket and the evidence was sealed away.

Maybe those Muggles could teach him something about how to track down the person this print belonged to, and then he would have the criminally negligent person that had kidnapped the sole eyewitness he had.

_November 3__rd__, 1981 – Department of Magical Law Enforcement_

"Look Crouch, just give me six people and we'll triple the number of solved cases," Moody demanded while glaring at the head of DMLE with both of his eyes. "We'll train in the investigation skills those Muggles are developing, and then you'll see."

"I'm sorry Alastor, there's just no room in the budget to start a squad like that..." the senior Crouch answered while stroking his mustache. "Besides, we Wizards have been doing fine without subjecting ourselves to the silly little muggle tricks for centuries. We'll continue to do just that long after they've all died off. Now isn't it time for your patrol?"

Moody swiveled his magical eye to look at the clock and sighed. The Head was right, it was time to head out. "Aye sir... just remember my proposal next time the budget's being planned, and get some of those blundering clods to try not messing up crime scenes. Constant vigilance is nothing if one is blinded by others."

As he stormed out, he knew that this would be swept under the rug. Especially with Crouch's stance on muggles and their ways. If anything was going to come of this idea, he would have to keep pushing the envelope, and the incoming Aurors to learn the right way of doing things. Now he just had to keep asking.

Getting back to his cubicle he glanced at the drawer in which the Potter case and the only bit of admissible evidence was waiting for him to return to after his patrol, not that he couldn't recite it word for word right now. Glaring inconsistencies and all. There had been no testimony of the man accused of betraying the Potters, leading towards their deaths. In fact there hadn't even been a trial, which is what really turned his stomach. It hadn't even taken him five minutes to find that the same people that declared him to have the blackest heart they'd seen in their lives had been the ones to declare the case an 'open-shut' meaning no one even **thought**to look beyond their noses for anything resembling the truth.

This was nearly as beautifully crafted as Lucious Malfoy and the other Death Eaters claiming they'd been under Imperious Curse the entire time and hadn't wanted to serve Voldemort. No man, living or dead, could possibly cast that many Imperious Curses and still remain functional, let alone in control over the targets. It really stuck in his craw that over half of his arrests were over turned on those grounds, and he knew that some of them had done things that would leave him with night terrors for years to come.

Maybe his friend from the states had the right idea about slapping heads, Franks had been right about quite a few things already. This was a lot of shoddy work.

In fact, if he was being perfectly honest with himself, shoddy didn't even begin to describe this work. There was another word that someone else had said that rang in his mind as he thought about the Ministry of Magic in any aspect. That word would haunt him for years, waking him in the middle of the night to cuss and spit at the moon. It was the only thing that could explain the way the powers were shifting even now.

Corruption.

Most of his investigations in to the source of the corruption ended up pointing to the purebloods, but there was one name that always seemed to appear in his reports. It was the self-same twinkling-eyed man that he had supported multiple times over the years. Even he had passed it off as a coincidence the first few times.

But then his paranoia acted up, and he really thought about it. The man had more titles to his than Moody had missing body parts, and next week even more would be added onto it. And there was more. Harry James Potter, the very boy he'd spent the past 48 hours searching through hell and high water for, was efficiently under the thumb of the man. There had been several dozen papers that fast-tracked Dumbledore's acquisition of power of attorney over the boy, each with the same flowing signature of that man on them.

What that effectively meant was that the Headmaster essentially had the same power as God over the boy. Something that had made him destroy the picture of Dumbledore in his home study and vow upon his magic and blood that he'd find the boy and show him the truth of power. It corrupts even the best, and those with the most power are the farthest from the best you could get.

Power led to corruption, and absolute power led to something far worse...

_August 5__th__, 1991 – Auror Headquarters_

It had been nearly 11 years, and Alastor Moody was getting pissed at how the system was constantly holding him back from forming the investigation squad he wanted. He had managed to find Harry, and had visited with him a couple times in a park a few blocks from the house his relatives lived in. Each time he met with the boy, he'd teach him something, and give him an ilk of human kindness that was deprived there.

It didn't take a his magical eye to spot the abuse the boy was suffering from, and often Moody would treat him to a meal from a nearby diner.

There was not a single thing he could do through official channels, because that... man, if you could call him that, was blocking any reports he submitted about Harry's location or condition, even obliviating serving Ministry staff to make them forget he'd filed the report.. And so he had to do it through unofficial channels.

But he'd found out that the lad had gotten enrolled into Hogwarts through that; curiously with the letters from other schools answered, in very grown-up language, by him somehow saying that he'd already decided his school when he barely could string a sentence together properly.. Oh he'd known that Harry was a bright, observant boy, constantly vigilant, but he hadn't known that the boy had caught him while using some magic to make Vernon forget about them after seeing them at the diner one day.

Sighing he tromped his way past the line of potential Aurors, and felt disgusted as once again, not a single one of them showed any signs of the spark of intelligence he was hoping for.

It wasn't until he got to where the rest of the senior Aurors were waiting. The idiots were joking about the attractive ones, pointing to one that had an inflated chest. Oh he knew it was fake, anyone with half a brain could see the inflation spells in use. A quick and silent counter-charm later and she was once again flat as a board.

As everyone was laughing, his magical eye tracked a young girl with neon pink hair rushing into the room, and tripping over the practice mat to tumble through the ranks of wannabes and end up under Moody's peg-leg, being glared at by the senior Auror. "What's your name girly?"

N...Nymphadora Tonks sir... Sorry I'm late..." she answered nervously as she held perfectly still under his glare. Good, this one had some brains to know just how bad she screwed up, but then he saw the little twinkle of mischief in her eye.

He smiled as he realized just what she had done, the little minx had just taken out the entirety of her fellow trainees in a matter of a minute from her entrance. She'd also done it in such a way that it seemed like an accident. A trace of movement had his magical eye focusing on it while his real eye didn't flinch from her face. She was shrinking her foot back to its normal proportions. A metamorphmagus!

This was a rare gem, and he knew exactly what to do. "Nymphadora, I'm Alastor Moody, and from this day forward. You. Are. My. Apprentice. Get up."

Removing his leg from her, he held out an hand to help her up. His face broke into a sadistic grin as she stood in front of him, looking to shrink under his beaming smile. "Congratulations Nymphadora."

Now he had the first part of the equation, and he had an idea on how to get the rest of them. It was that time again, time to petition the boss, since the budget was up for review again.

Five minutes later, he and his new apprentice were standing directly outside of the office of the Amelia Bones, who had taken over for the corrupted Bartemius Crouch Sr. when he'd been demoted to the Department of International Magical Cooperation after he failed to recognize his own son as a Death Eater.

The kangaroo court trial that had followed was laughable at best, insulting at worst. The weak willed boy didn't have the balls to cast Cruciatus Curse for as long as it took to torment someone into insanity like the Longbottoms had been. After time spent at Azkaban... he dreaded just how far the man's mind had fallen.

Finally getting permission to enter the office he and Tonks walked in quietly while the head of the DMLE shuffled some request forms for training supplies. He almost smiled when he saw that his last one was sitting prominently on the very top. Almost as she had her rejection stamp out and at the ready. "And what can I do for you Auror Moody?"

"Look Boss, you know what I'm here for, and I have a way to cut that budget request of mine in half," Moody stated gruffly while tapping his request form firmly.

"Go on..."

"Let me take Trainee Tonks here, and a group of kids of Hogwarts age, and I can train them up enough to make every last Auror look like the complete blundering gits that they are, while more than quadrupling our successful conviction rate," Moody stated firmly while straightening up proudly. "And the way you save money is to pay us room and board, plus a hundred galleons per month."

He could see the wheels turning in the woman's head, and she seemed to find the limit that he had reached himself. He could only hire one full team, including support staff, which amounted to a total of six students this year, more if he can make this a success.

"And what of their magical education?" Bones asked curiously while weaving her fingers together and watching the senior Auror solemnly.

"I intend to accelerate their training, and working with those professors that I feel are trustworthy to ensure that they are not only the best of their year, but the best there is period," Moody answered with a straight face. He already knew one student that he was going to take from under Dumbledore's control. "All I ask is for a chance to look over the list, observe the students I'm interested in, and interview those with potential."

"In under one month?" Bones asked.

"That's what she'll be helping me with..."

"Alright fine... you have until the night before start of term to have the names on my desk for approval. And Moody?"

"Yes ma'am?" Moody asked, worried that he wasn't going to like whatever she was going to say next.

Bones pushed over a form that he'd never seen before, finding out that it was a profile form, which was actually filled out completely already. "This is a young girl that has volunteered to work for room and board in the Magical Criminal Investigative Services... you might want to look into her. She pointedly said she does not want pay."

The name surprised him, Luna Lovegood was the only daughter of Xenophilius, and the man was a complete nutter. However, he'd heard enough rumors about the girl, to know that she had the gifts of being a true seer.

A slight smirk split his lips before he nodded. "I'll look into it."

_September 1__st__, 1991 – MCIS Headquarters, DMLE basement_

"Alright you lot, I'm going to be training you on the job, you were selected as being the best and the brightest I could pull together... Potter, straighten up the line there. Weasley you stop fidgeting or so help me..." Moody barked, patrolling in front of his new recruits with a snarl. Oh he was loving this, and he'd gotten all six of the agents he wanted, plus the extra member who set herself up in the Forensics Lab she was going to share with Tonks for the most part.

Tonks was going to serve as a field agent of the Forensics team, due to her age and her abilities, he knew she was going to be a vital player.

Next came Potter, the boy was definitely going to be a good team leader, if only he could develop the backbone that he was going to need. Beyond that, he was sharp and had very fast reaction times. If he was a sporting man, Moody would have guessed he'd have been a Seeker.

After him came the youngest male Weasley, Ronald by name. He was rather lucky, but was about as bright as Voldemort's heart. He was going to definitely be a good check against the mentality of the Wizarding World. He would also probably be a last resort for any job that required hard work.

Then came a muggle-born girl named Granger, she had impressed him with her intellect, and the versatility of her knowledge reserves. He was thinking she would certainly help to balance any muggle evidence collected, and maybe even be able to unravel the mystery that was their technology.

Following her was the only other girl on the team, Luna Lovegood, who was as close to a true seer as he'd ever seen. She had worked her way into the Forensics Lab, and showed him that she truly knew her stuff in producing a series of spells her mother had been working on that would assist them in their tasks. One was a charm that sprayed out a fine shot of bright orange dust that bonded with the oils left behind by skin. Another verified that body samples in special containers matched, or not. It had proven that metamorphmagus and Polyjuice potions were not as perfect as many thought.

Then came a boy he was going to be working with closely in the morgue. Neville Longbottom was going to be a medical examiner, since the poor lad didn't have the stomach for field work just yet. They would work to inspect the bodies to find out what types of spells were used, and any other possible clues they could use. They would also work to find out who the body was in the cases where it was damaged beyond visual recognition.

Finally were two that he was probably going to regret choosing, but they were sharp and from the reports from Hogwarts; creative, innovative, and stealthy. They were going to be just brilliant on the field team... if he didn't kill them first. Fred and George Weasley were also the only ones aside from himself and Tonks that were beyond their first year in school.

"Listen up, and listen good. We have our first job, a robbery at Gringotts. I'll be showing the spells and methods that I want you to learn. The sooner you pick it up, the sooner I stop trying to beat you over the head with my walking stick. Understood?" Moody growled out, glaring at the line, almost deliberately picking out the three redheads, until they shouted out an answer.

"Yes SIR!"

"Don't call me sir, name's Moody or Boss. Now grab your gear, it's over on the wall marked for you, and let's go. The goblins are anxious for us to arrive, and have sealed off the area for us," Moody ordered, pointing over to where the outfits and bags of gear he'd prepared for them waited. Once they were all over where their names hung on plaques he spoke again. "I want you all to follow my lead, and don't do anything until I give the okay. After we're done for the day, I'll show you to your dorms, and we'll begin your schoolwork. Any questions?"

Getting a general consensus of negatives, he smiled and grabbed up his own bag. "Good, let's move out team."

That day, MCIS was born.


	8. Sabbatical

Harry looked at his only friend remaining in this world quietly with a nearly panicked expression on his face. During their time-turner adventure, and the subsequent rescue of Black and Buckbeak from the Ministry's bungling, they had also joined in the flight away from the school on his broom. At first she didn't understand where they were going, and to be honest, neither did he... but they had to get away. He knew that her slugging Malfoy earlier that year had been getting her a lot of nasty threats and howlers from Malfoy Sr.

And she hadn't told him either, he could see it in the stress of her eyes, the way she had her wand always ready for a quick draw. In short she was jumpy, and that was not a good thing. And so he had packed up his trunk, and had a fan of his pack up hers, miniaturized them, and decided to take Hermione on a sabbatical flight to let her unwind.

That had been a week ago, and they were still heading away from England as fast as the broom would allow, using the invisibility cloak to hide them from the rest of the world. It wasn't exactly comfortable flying on the Firebolt for long periods of time, and the food they picked up with what was left of their money was starting to run low... but they were truly free. Hermione's fear of flying had faded by the end of the second day, and now it was just them cruising along in the air over what he thought might be Spain.

Eventually he'd have to land, find a wizarding village, and get some funds together, as well as a broom for two to make a long journey more comfortably, but at least he'd done something that no one could have expected. He'd given Hedgwig a letter to himself, to not be delivered for another five weeks, and that she was to intercept any mail coming for him in that time. Meaning that even if someone tried to find him through the owls they'd be stuck unless Hedwig betrayed him. But a promise of a Summer free of the Dursley's seemed to have won her to his side. That and with Dobby running interferance on the House Elf side meant that he was fairly certain that they would be left alone on this trip.

Now if only he could figure out the Fidelius Charm and how to put the two of them under it, he'd be set for what protections he could mount. Dipping lower, he paused by a road-sign hoping that Hermione would be able to direct him which way to go. After a few minutes by the sign, looking up and down both ways, Hermione finally sighed and pointed to the West, and hopefully were a magical settlement with a Gringotts might be.

Drifting along since they didn't have any pressing need to push speed, and the cloak kept them hidden better at low speeds, they went in search of a way to start a new life somewhere. Harry knew he had enough money to provide for them, and Hermione was responsible enough not to let him completely blow it on frivolities. After a few hours they came to a port village with a magical aura around it. Keeping to the rooftop level, Harry found himself following some very oddly dressed people in hopes that they might lead him to the entrance to the magical side of the village.

When one went into a shop with English writing proclaiming Avalon Cruise Lines, he felt there was a good chance that they'd found it. After waiting a few hours, the person didn't exit again. Harry couldn't go in, as he was famous in Magical Europe, and Hermione might be recognizable if the Ministry had allowed the she and Harry had escaped from under their noses escape the island.

Not too likely, but it was also a big risk. Finally they decided to try their luck, with Harry close by just in case they needed to make a quick escape. The Firebolt might not be much for comfort, but nothing could beat it for speed.

Hermione dropped out of the cloak into an alleyway, and waited until the coast was clear. Walking along the street as though she was just a tourist, she dipped into the store, and remained in plain view of the main windows while looking around at the cruise packages. Finally finding one with prices in Galleons, she plucked it out and read it over. A cruise to the Caribbean Sea, followed by a trip through the Panama Canal and onward to Alaska, before swinging South to Australia, the Indian Ocean, and finally into port in the Mediterranean via the Suez Canal.

All in all a bargain at 20 galleons a ticket, especially as those were first class and included food, drink, and amenities. Now if only they could find the Gringotts branch...

Turning towards the counter, she found a clerk was watching her with a knowing smirk. Apparently she knew a witch when she saw one, and probably the fact that she was in the only section not flooded with people didn't hurt either. Clearing her throat softly, she worked up her best non-British accent and walked over to the clerk. "Excuse me senorita, but I was wonderin' if ya'll could direct me to the local bank branch... I wanna buy two tickets on this cruise, but need to make a withdrawal."

Oh, that hurt her pride in English grammar, and she knew that her primary school teachers would drop dead if they'd heard her using the language like that.

"Certainly miss, if you wish, we can have a representative meet you in our private conference room... you and your friend both if you wish for them to come in..." the clerk answered in perfect English.

Hermione paused in accepting the offer, realizing that Harry would stick out like a sore thumb in this place. It might be better to go to the branch office instead, but that would mean a severe delay in catching their cruise. "My friend is rather shy see... and..."

"Ah, say no more... if they'd like you two can go to the Gringotts branch office through the alleyway you passed coming here, I can show you the entrance code if you'd show me your wand..." the clerk stated calmly while drawing a curtain between them and the next booth. "My name is Maria."

Hermione looked around carefully before reaching up her sleeve where she'd sown in a crude holster and withdrew her wand. The 10 and ¾ inch piece of vine slid into view with a practiced ease, before Hermione rotated it into a non-threatening position. After getting a nod from the clerk, she holstered her wand and smiled as the curtain was drawn back. "I trust your friend is also magical? You will be held accountable for any transgression of the International Statute of Secrecy with them..."

"He's magical... it's just we need to get away for a while, and..." Hermione started, before blushing and cutting herself off, fearing she'd already said to much. Especially once the witch's smile grew into a playful smirk.

"A he is it... well I can see why you would want to run away young Juliet..." the clerk teased, giving Hermione an idea for a cover story on their cruise. She just had to find a better set of names than Romeo and Juliet, they were too obvious and she didn't want to risk both of them dying.

"Call me Bonnie... and we'll meet with Rupert outside..." Hermione offered, picking two names at random that she felt fit them just as well as their birth-names. It would make for an easy cover story if only they could hide Harry's scar...

Maria hung a sign on the front of her desk, proclaiming that she'd be back as near as Hermione could guess. As the woman walked around, Hermione gulped as she realized that she'd have to reveal Harry soon, or else this would all fall apart. Hopefully she could trust this Maria not to reveal who they really were to everyone on the street. "I saw you looking at our world cruise package, for an extra fifteen galleons a person, you can upgrade to a guided tour of the various stops along the way; including the continental United States, Alaska, Hawaii, Australia, India, and Greece. It will take a little longer than just the cruise, but I highly recommend it, as it is much more enjoyable and informative. Besides, one of the stops in the United States is the Blue Ridge Mountains, the sight of the most famous magical battle in the American Revolutionary War... but I doubt a British school girl would be interested in that... you seem more the type to go to the Magical Library of Congress..."

The thought of all those books she'd heard about in the Library of Congress nearly overwhelmed the fact that she'd been caught out as a British citizen. "That obvious of a bad accent?"

"More of a difference in body posture, you were too uptight and focused to be a tourist, and most wouldn't buy cruises in foreign countries..." Maria explained as they exited out of the building and walked over to the alleyway she'd told Hermione about. "Now if your friend Rupert could arrive and show me his wand, I'll let you into Mágica da Porto..."

"We're not in Spain are we?" Harry asked as he lowered the Invisibility Cloak carefully, making sure his scar was hidden behind his bangs. After Maria settled down, he held out his wand for her to look at casually. "Hi, I'm Rupert..."

"R... Rupert it is then..." Maria answered, letting them know she was in on the lie, as her eyes flicked up to where the Scar was hidden. Turning away she pulled out her own wand and ran the tip of it along the base of a wall at the dead-end of the alleyway. A moment later and the section of pavement before the wall lowered with the three of them still on it a full six feet, before revealing a set of stairs going further down. "Hurry up then Rupert, Bonnie, the section will return to normal in a few seconds..."

A quick trip down the stairs brought them to a city under the sprawling metropolis above them, it was as bright and vibrant as the upper city, but they could almost feel the hum of magic in the air. "Welcome to Magical Portugal... Gringotts is straight down the road at the end of the stairs. Big gold building, can't miss it."

"Thank you Maria," Hermione gushed while pulling Harry towards the stairs. "Let's go Rupert, I'll tell you about the trip we're going on while we go to Gringotts..."

"Just talk to Slapdaub at the bank, he'll help you finalize the plans... can I know your last names to let him know you're coming?" Maria asked before they could get out of hearing distance.

"Rupert Grint," Hermione called back while pointing at Harry before switching to herself, "Bonnie Wright. Thanks for everything Maria!"

And with that the two were around the bend in the stairs, and Maria was alone, smiling warmly at the two of them. If any two in the world needed a vacation, it was them. But still she had her duty to perform... in a day or two she'd tell the aurors that she saw the famous Harry Potter and his friend Hermione Granger, and gave them directions to the local Gringotts branch. But for now she'd give them a head-start on the authorities that were coming after them.

Besides, she never really did like the British government after Dumbledore came to power.


	9. One Bad Day?

Just a bit of a ficlet to wish you a Happy Halloween. Much more fun to be found on my forums at magi-tower . forum-free . net Hope to see ya there!

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Blazing emerald eyes stared at the sea of red that surrounded him, and he knew that there was no other force in this world to blame save himself. He didn't even know what had caused it, just that one moment he was asking Hermione to get a book from the library, and the next he was standing coated in blood and gore. Slowly, as though in a dream, Harry turned to survey the halls, seeing tufts of red hair, white beard, and oily-black tresses clinging to bits of flesh that slid down the walls.

What had he done?

The only thing keeping him from falling was the body underneath him. Looking down, he gazed into the terror filled eyes of his best friend in the world, and new that the terror was because of what he had done. Slowly shaking his head he tried to ward off the accusing brown eyes boring into his soul. He didn't want to do it, he didn't want to kill them.

Ron had been his best friend, hadn't he? From the first day on the train he had always stood by his side and... well there was this year in which he had stabbed him pretty deeply in the back over that damn Tri-Wizards Tournament. But was such petty jealousy really a reason for all of this? Did Ron really have to be slaughtered? Was that really his 'brother' in all but blood coating his front now?

And Dumbledore, the grandfather figure that had saved him from the Dursleys by allowing him into the school. He had always had Harry's best interest at heart, right? Then why was he now splattered around the room? Was it because of the secrets about his life that the man hid from him, and now would never tell? That he never truly listened to him about how hellish his life was? That could never justify what Harry had done.

Finally there was Snape... true the man had been a constant crown of thorns since Harry had arrived at the school, but it was justifiable, right? The man had been Dumbledore's trusted teacher for years, so there had to be a good reason for his dislike of Harry.

Backing away, Harry realized that he was against a wall, and all that he could see is Hermione's terror filled eyes pointing at him like an accusing finger, stabbing into his heart and saying 'You did this... it was you... you're just like him!'

Sliding to the ground Harry shook his head in mute terror, closing his eyes as he fought to not see the destruction that he had to have wrought. Sheltering his head, he began letting tears fall from his eyes to the ground.

Just as a scream was about to tear from his throat, a pair of warm, comforting arms enveloped him. Forcing his eyes open, he looked out through his arms and found not the cold hate-filled brown eyes he was expecting, but instead the warm, almost loving gaze of his best friend. "Harry... it's time to wake up..." she suggested softly, giving his arm a firm squeeze.

"Wh...what?" Harry groaned, not fully understanding what she was saying, nor how she remained free of blood in all the red coating the room.

"Wake up, class is over..." Hermione stated again, causing Harry to blink. About the third repetition his eyes opened, and he realized he was in History of Magic, and Hermione was safe. Ron was exiting the room, and Harry could see Dumbledore and Snape talking in the hallway casually. Was it all just a nightmare?

What worried him more was that he could see reasons for all of them dying in the nightmare... Was it the Dursleys who wanted to abuse him... or were there three people, two adults and a boy, who had more sinister reasons for him to live a few more hours?

The dark thoughts were driven away by a hand taking his, and pulling him up to his feet. "Come on Harry, let's go to the library for revisions before lunch."

Nodding he followed the girl out of the classroom, hoping that she never saw the darkness lurking inside him. He knew however, if anyone ever threatened her in any way the darkness would awaken, and he would not stop until she was safe forever more.

That would be a vow he would keep for all eternity.


	10. Life Debts

Yes folks, another new idea from me... Hope you enjoy it.  


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Deep in a secret location, known only as the Burrow, a woman was hatching her devious schemes to take control of the Wizarding World's greatest asset, right under the nose of Dumbledore himself. And like all such schemes of conquest, sedition, and self-centered gains, it started with cookies and a mother-daughter chat. "Ginny-dear... have you considered how to repay your life-debt to Harry yet?"

"I have a life debt? I don't think I have one, well, I might have been in danger, but it was self-inflicted, not Harry's fault." Ginny answered while looking up from her homework, pointing out a flaw in the plan. Well, flaw and glaring loophole.

"He saved your life from mortal peril, and it was the diary that caused it dear... here have some cookies and we'll talk all about it..." Molly insisted, waiting until her daughter took one of the influence-increasing potion laced cookies and got a blank look to her eyes. "Now Ginny-dear, let's talk about this little life-debt you have..."

"Yes mother..." the girl currently under the influence droned back in a monotone.

"You will have to repay him, and with the size of the debt, the only way to repay him is to give him the family he's always wanted..." Molly ordered while stroking her daughter's head, she hated drugging her daughter like this, but the girl being so obstinate and willful forced her hand.

"But Harry loves Hermione, and she him... I can't hurt them that way..." Ginny answered putting up a resistance to the potion that signalled that there was something more at play than just Ginny's belief in that foolish notion that the two dears could have such a relationship already. She knew that there was that silly liking girls nonsense, but she should have taken care of that with the first time she drugged her daughter, after all, a proper Pureblood Witch has to marry a wizard to carry on their family line, and a powerful one at that.

Now Molly had to take care of her little indiscretions, and that meant that she had to remove this interest in bedding with other girls. The best way she could see her doing that was to get Ginny married off to a powerful up and coming wizard that wouldn't allow her to fall into the wasteful habits of lusting after females. instead she would marry a boy and produce several offspring to continue the mighty wizard's family line.

"Tell me Ginny-dear, why would you think that Harry was interested in Hermione that way?" Molly asked, running her fingers through her daughter's lovely, lovely red hair. It was such a shame that it would lose this shiny luster as she got older.

"He hugged her and kissed her cheek in front of the entire school... They are always with each other... Ever since their first year, everyone knew that they would end up together... He even saved her life that year..." Ginny droned tonelessly as she leaned into the petting. There was just something about soothing about the ministration of her mother that made everything seem so clear.

Molly frowned and slowed her stroking as she realized exactly what Ginny had confessed to seeing, and hearing about. It sounded like Harry had a Life-Debt collection developing with this Granger girl. Maybe she could use this...

"You're mistaken deary..." Molly stated soothingly while picking back up the stroking of the girl's hair. "The life debt is with my little Ronnikins, not Harry... he just helped Ronni-poo save her."

Oh it would be so nice for Ron to get a free girlfriend, now all she had to do was get Harry to break away from the Granger girl, and understand the proper way of things in Wizarding society. After all, Harry should marry into a pureblood family to continue his Ancient and Noble house of Potter.

There was just that small problem with the Line Continuation Laws of 1607 to consider. If he had Life-Debts outside of just Ginny, especially with women, he could marry multiple times over in lieu of repayment by other means. If Hermione had a Life debt with Harry preceding her daughter's that meant that she would be the first wife, not Ginny. And that would be unacceptable.

Even worse, A MUGGLEBORN as a first wife? That wasn't just unacceptable, that was the kind of thing that got Ancient and Noble Houses removed from the Wizengamot. She thought about families like the Tonks family, who were excommunicated for such fraternization. Muggle-borns were best pets, slaves and vassals... not first wives especially not when there were Purebloods in line.

"But Ron caused her to be in danger in the first place..." the controlled daughter stated with no inflection to her voice at all.

"And that's how life debts work, dear." Molly said, "You make up for your own mistakes, and they are in your debt for you making up for what you did wrong."

"But the books state that only selfless actions can cause a life debt of mother, not ones caused by the rescuer," Ginny answered quietly, signalling that the potion was wearing off.

"Have another cookie dear... those books are wrong dear..." Molly insisted while sliding the plate closer. "Let's talk about this some more..."

Little did either of them notice an identical pair of red haired boys as they slipped away from the doorway where they had been listening for the entire meeting. They slipped away up the stairs silent as shadows, both with a deep frown on their faces. Once safely sheltered in their room, the twins looked at each other and shook their heads slowly. "Dear twin of mine, we have a situation on hand..."

"One we must solve..." the other agreed while stroking his chin, "Or at least save Harry from a fate worse than mom..."

"A pureblood agenda that will leave him a broken shell of a man?" the first one asked while pulling out a sheet of parchment and a quill. Sitting down the twins began writing out a message, throwing in ideas as they came up with them.

"You do realize that by doing this we will dooming him being constantly surrounded by women, in the biblical sense... right?" one of them asked, lowering the quill to the desk.

"Right... should try to spare a pair for ourselves..." the other offered while playing with something he plucked off the desk. "I'd say Angelina and Katie, but they were eyeing up Harry pretty hard during that strip poker game we had after the championship last year..."

It was true that Harry had been one of the biggest losers of the night, he had been down to his boxers in the first ten hands of the night, how he managed to last the rest of the night without losing them was amazing, especially since the girls were targeting him the minute he removed his shirt and showed off the results of his hard work at Quidditch and surviving his time at Hogwarts.

When they caught sight of those abs, the girls all locked eyes on the boy's boxer shorts and began targeting him with their comments, trying to distract him from the game. Not that it worked, since Harry seemed to get better the more they tried to distract him. Or maybe it was because the twins were also distracted that caused the problem.

Borrowing the family's owl Errol, the twins sent their message off towards its destination, and hopefully towards where it could save Harry from their mother's plans. After all, it was a a scary prospect to be under her control like she was planning. They would know best since she's been trying to get them to behave their entire lives, and nothing had worked so far, but the use of potions had been a close one after all. If it hadn't been for Fred not eating because he didn't feel well, George would likely have never known that he'd been drugged. Since then they'd been using a tenth of the profits from their mail order pranks supplies business to buy a steady supply of antidotes and Bezoar stones to keep her from drugging them up to their eyeballs and forcing them to become like Percy.

Until tonight, they hadn't thought that she'd stoop so low as to drug the other two, since they were fairly well behaved, but now that they knew they had to act. Ron was likely a lost cause considering just how thick he was, and how much of a whipped puppy he'd always been. But they'd never considered it possible that Ginny was being potioned.

Now that they knew, they could see the signs already. No longer going on play-dates with Luna, the strange obsession with Harry Potter, and why she turned to a diary of all things instead of the twins like she had when she created the Bat Bogey Hex.

They missed their third little mischief maker, the one that was pure and innocent instead of the big, flashy pair like the twins. And George and Charlie were out of the house and majorly successful, while Percy... well Percy was just a prat, not nearly on the level of Ron, but pushing it.

If this worked, they would have their sister back, Harry would have a family to love and care for him, and they would have their greatest prank ever.


	11. Harry Potterism

Harry had heard and seen some crazy things in his time at Hogwarts, but what Hermione was proposing put all of that to shame. "Let me see if I have this straight... you want me to be a god?"

"Yes, that's it exactly, if you drink the deification potion, and follow through the ritual I'll provide, you'll gain power for every person that holds a belief in you exponentially," Hermione explained with a blissful smile on her face as she hugged an ancient tome that looked like it weighed a good twenty kilograms. "It's one of the best power boosting rituals for those of the light side..."

"And with this ritual, I'll be able to defeat Voldemort?" Harry asked, wondering what he'd have to do to pry the tome from Hermione's grip. It sounded promising, but he'd rather not risk it without reading more about it. He knew that Hermione had his best interest at heart, there were just things that he knew could sound good, and yet end up hurting them in the end.

"Yes! Not only does it make you more powerful, so long as one person still believes in you, you're practically immortal," Hermione explained as she laid out the book so that he could read the pages as she pointed to key phrases. "See? If people start believing in you, then they add a bit of life energy to your powers, until you become an immortal... but it has to be true belief, of the whole heart, soul, and magic... not out of fear."

"So Moldyshorts won't be able to do it?" Harry asked with a bit of intrigue in his voice. If Voldemort had learned about this, would he really not have been unable to use it? It looked like this was meant for people to gain the power to help those that follow them, more than furthering their own goals. Even the person undergoing the process would have to have primary goals that benefit others, more than themselves.

"So... how hard is the potion to brew?" the bespectacled boy asked curiously as he read over the pages.

"Oh not hard, it's a little less complicated than the Polyjuice potion," Hermione reassured him, with a faint blush on her cheeks. "I might have been... well... I might have been so excited that I started brewing it... last night... in the Room of Requirements..."

"I see... and let's just say that I go along with this plan, how many people will have to believe me to be a god in order to start? Ten?" Harry asked curiously as he tried to find the line in the book about that.

"Less than that, only five actually, and that includes yourself. I was thinking that Luna, Dobby, and Ron might be good for the other three," Hermione answered, while turning to a new page in the thick book. "See, it's not even a matter of it being humans, it's a matter of belief. And Dobby has always believed you were some sort of god already, so he would be easy to convince if we even have to."

"Why Luna? I thought you didn't like her..." Harry asked, knowing that infighting would cause more problems in the long run. He wasn't even going to mention the problems with Ron being involved in the first place.

"Actually, that's based off the book... It suggests having a prophet, who is regarded as strange, and out of sync with the normal society... In fact, it mentions the Lovegood family by name," Hermione answered with a matter of fact tone of voice as she pointed to the line holding the mention to Luna's relation. It did really mention the Lovegood family by name, as being among the best to fill the prophet role.

"Who wro-" Harry started before Hermione flipped to the author's page, and he did notice that it was Nicholas Flamel, not a Lovegood that wrote this book. Which made him wonder why he created this ritual if the Philosopher's stone was so much more convenient. A point by Hermione answered his unasked question as she indicated that it was created somewhere around 935 A.D.

Ah, so it wasn't the one he knew about.

"Want to try it?" the bushy-haired girl asked with an eager looking smile as she bounced in place. Oh, that was doing some decidedly interesting things with Harry's mind while she rubbed against his back. "Come on, I already checked and there's nothing dangerous about this ritual..."

"I suppose..." Harry stated after a minute with a heavy sigh. In the future, he would look back on this day and remember it as possibly his stupidest decision ever, before someone smacked him upside the back of his head for thinking that.

"Woot!... I mean let's go find Luna then..." Hermione said still bouncing. Realizing Harry was becoming amused with her bouncing she quickly stopped... or tried to.

"Switch to decaf?" Harry suggested as he noticed the subtle buzz of Hermione's body as she tried to remain still. She was pretty much one cup of coffee from phasing out of this plane of existence... again. That had been an interesting Thursday afternoon.

"What do you mean? I can't switch to decaf now, now when I need to gather the others, get the potion brewed, set up the ritual area, and find a flying purple people eater so I can get a shedding of the horn on his head..." Hermione rambled as she began flipping through the book some more. "And there's just so many other rituals and spells to learn..."

Harry sighed and pulled his wand up before muttering "Detoxicate" and caught Hermione as her brain took a sudden screeching halt at dreamland. If he was going to be a god, one of his tenants was to not get hyped up on caffeine and sleep at least six hours within twenty-four hour period. Cradling her in his arms, he carefully carried her over to a couch and laid her out for the next few hours.

Picking up the book, he decided to see how he could ensure that the potion wasn't going to be ruined by Hermione's sudden trip to Slumber-ville. It would be the considerate thing to do.

Getting to the RoR, he was surprised to find that someone was already monitoring the potion. His surprised turned into a bemused little shake of his head as he realized that the person tending the concoction was far better suited to it instead of him. Waiting until they were not preoccupied with checking the color of the liquid he spoke up, "Hey Dobby, did Hermione leave a copy of the recipe?"

"Oh yes Great Harry Potter sir, Miss Grangy gave Dobby the recipe so he be helping yous be more of a god!" Dobby answered with a happy smile and a supplication at Harry's feet. That would take some getting used to... unless he made it a rule to forbid that.

"Get up Dobby, you don't have to do that... just treat me like you always did..." Harry offered, stalling out after Dobby's eyes misted over with tears.

"Oh the Great Harry Potter is making Dobby a favored disciple, Dobby won't fail you... even if Miss Grangy wouldn't let me help her with the potion for less than three knuts and cleaning of her parent's home. Once Miss Grangy sends a letter to them to explain as they are not wizards like the Great Harry Potter and his Grangy..." Dobby gushed like a school girl over her first crush. Harry was ready to grab his wand for a Aguamenti if the House Elf showed signs of wanting to hump his leg again.

Really, that Thursday was one he probably should forget, if it wasn't so important to avoid incidents from happening again. Apparently Dobby saw him readying to draw on him, as he shrunk back, but didn't begin to perform any types of self-mutilation. "Dobby is sorry, he won't be doing those things Great Harry Potter sir..."

"It's alright Dobby... let's just never mention it again, alright?" Harry offered, figuring that might just be the best way to do things. After all, he'd love to forget it ever happened.

"Is this about the Thursday-That-Shall-Not-Be-Forgotten?" Dobby asked his ears perking up like a dogs, with a minor hopeful look at blotting out the shameful errors he made that fateful day.

"Yes... let's never mention it again, if you agree to that... I'll... umm..." Harry stalled out, trying to think of something that he had that Dobby would want. His mind wasn't wired for House Elf logic, however Dobby seemed more than willing to supply a suggestion.

"If Dobby never mentions it again Harry Potter will let Dobby be his house elf," Dobby replied with a gleam in his eye. Apparently even house elves could be extortionists... with the right motivation.

"But what would a god need with a House Elf servant? It would just be improper, wouldn't it?" Harry countered, knowing that Hermione would probably skin him alive if he took on a House Elf.

"Not at all Mr Harry Potter sir, Dobby knows that those in the past have had house elves as well. So it is in fact Proper," the house elf replied still with his grin.

"How about I let you prepare my throne room? And we'll discuss making permanent arrangements from there?" Harry suggested, figuring that if he could buy a little time, maybe he'd think of a way to get through this without Hermione ringing his neck.

"No sir. It's this or I mention it... a lot," Dobby replied with a now sadistic grin. Either way he'd be having fun apparently.

Harry decided that he would have to kill the twins, since he knew the House Elf had to have gained his bartering skills from them. Rubbing his eyes, he tried to figure out a way free of this mess. "If I'm to be your god, you have to listen to me, right?"

"This will prelude any and all orders from that," Dobby replied smugly. He had in fact been learning from the twins how to trick Harry into agreeing him to be Harry's elf.

"I have one final condition... you convince Hermione Granger to support you becoming my house elf, and I'll agree to it," Harry stated calmly as a moment of clarity struck him. Hermione would never agree to that.

Unfortunately for Harry, he underestimated just how cunning Dobby could be when confronted with an obstacle to his goals. "Yes Harry Potter, sir, Dobby will take care of that as soon as Miss Grangy comes back."

"Deal!" Harry agreed smugly as he shook the elf's hand. "But until then, no more mentions of that day, alright? As a favor to me?"

"Yes Great Harry Potter, sir. Dobby will not mention that day until then," the house elf offered with a huge beaming smile on his face.

Several hours later, Harry had the rare privilege of watching a debate between the leader of S.P.E.W. and the only known Free Elf they knew. It was an interesting sight to say the least.

"You want to what? But you were just freed!" Hermione protested as she leaned over the table. It was as though she'd expected him to be the only one to support her self appointed cause to liberate the house elves.

"Yes, but Harry Potter sir is not like the Malfoys, and House Elves must be serving a Master, or we's be getting sick... like Winky be," Dobby explained, bringing up the poor pained house elf that had been so cruelly dismissed from her family. "Dobby has not, because he knows he is Harry Potter's elf, and works for the castle."

"You get sick when you're a free elf?" Hermione asked in horror as she realized just what she'd been attempting to do to those poor elves that she thought were imprisoned.

"What, you think we stay with human's because we always enjoy it or because they force us? Do you think that would happen if we REALLY didn't want to bond in the first place? We need the bond, it nourishes our magic and helps keep us alive." Dobby replied with quite possibly his longest statement ever, "More too, if Dobby is house elf to a god, then they listen to Dobby, and we work for rights... Well... or we can shift all of the abused house elves to Harry."

"That's... that's brilliant... and with more followers Harry would be even more powerful..." Hermione agreed, causing Harry to get a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach as he realized just how far south things had gone.

Mentally there was a small Harry yelling at the sky "CURSE YOU!" but in the public domain, he remained cool, calm, and panicking. It didn't seem to be going his way at all, especially not with Dobby playing his trump card of the support base being larger as they continued to accept non-human members into the fold. It wasn't that he had anything against non-humans, in fact he counted a few of them among his best friends, but he was starting to worry just how powerful he needed to be to defeat Voldemort. That and just how huge of a gap in the numbers was coming into play right now.

If Harry didn't know what was going on, Hermione had more than enough knowledge for the both of them. The goal was to make Harry stronger than anyone who would consider hurting him, to do this they would need as many followers as possible. Using both humans and non-humans would mean that Harry would have a greater power base. Already there were plans to recruit from the goblins of Gringotts.

What Hermione failed to realize that was that with the sheer number of followers she was thinking about would more than ensure that Harry wouldn't be defeated by any man, woman, or child living. In fact, if she hadn't skipped a key piece of fine print, she'd probably realize she was making some decisions that would be irreversible in the future.

However, in the here and now, Hermione was granting her acceptance of the House Elf's status, and re-planning her goals with S.P.E.W, since they seemed more likely to kill the elves than help them. In fact, she was doing far more than that, she was allowing a bond to form. A bond that was long over due. She hadn't had any problems with Dobby being Harry's elf really, she knew the small bouncy elf already considered himself Harry's this was just making it official.

Harry sighed heavily as he shook his head slowly at the strange turn of events that had turned into him getting a house elf of his own. Maybe he should see about hunting down Sirius Black and getting himself killed. Nah, with his luck the guy was innocent and trying to find the REAL betrayer.

Back in Gryffindor Tower a rat known as Scabbers, better known as Wormtail, sneezed. 'Hmm Someone must be talking about me. I bet it was that kinky rat in the wall of Ron's room at the burrow.'

However, with Harry, Hermione, and Dobby, the bond had been finalized and the House Elf was squealing with joy as he hugged his new master's legs. "Dobby must get everything ready for Great Master Harry Potter Sir!" the strange creature gushed as he looked up at Harry with gleaming eyes of pure joy.

Harry was once again about to do a spell to stop any potential humping. It wasn't that he disliked the little elf... but the leg humping had to stop. However, Dobby released the leg and bounced over to Hermione, who got a flying hug from the little elf. "Thanks yous Miss Grangy."

Still ready to cast his spell if the elf started humping because well... that was just wrong, right? It wasn't like she was his girlfriend or anything...

"Erm... not to interrupt your celebrations Dobby but, the potion?" he managed to say, while his mind trying to reason why he was tempted to send Dobby flying off Hermione with a firehose of a water-jet.

"Oh right!" Hermione gushed as she rushed into the other room, where she'd been brewing the potion, leaving Dobby hanging in mid-air before gravity caught up with him. There was just something that Harry couldn't understand about the girl that he'd been friends with for several years.

Now that he thought about it, he probably wouldn't have had it any other way. She was the perfect Hermione for him: intelligent, caring, passionate, and just ever so slightly excitable. Not that he'd admit that to anyone, since then she'd be in danger from all of the psychos out to get him ever since he'd come to Hogwarts.

A loud clanging noise from the other room broke Harry of his musings, and caused him to rush in with Dobby hot on his heels. "Hermione!" was all that escaped from Harry's mouth before he took in what was occurring. The most brilliant witch of the age was reading the recipe for the potion out of the tome, while banging a lid against the side of a cauldron in perfect time. Why, he couldn't even fathom, but it looked like she knew what she was doing.

He hoped.

"It seems about ready Harry. Are you ready to... well, become a god?" Hermione asked cautiously as she looked up from the Big-Book-O-Rituals. Really, he had thought that becoming a deity would take at least the summer, but if Hermione suggested it was time, he wasn't about to argue.

"Sure... if you think it's a smart idea..." Harry stated as he tried to remember what she had said he was supposed to do. "Guess I won't be just Harry any more..."

Harry grinned sheepishly at the glare that his best female friend shot him as though to ask him when he'd ever been 'just Harry' to anyone in the magical world. It was like saying that it was just Elvis walking by, or just King Arthur that was sharing your meal with you. NO SUCH THING!

Looking at anything but the glare, Harry found himself focusing on the book, the very one that held the ritual he was to perform. Walking over, he took a chance to read the start of said ritual and then began to doubt the intelligence of the Wizarding World again.

"All I have to do is let you baste me in that potion and then repeat that phrase? That seems a little too easy don't you think?" Harry asked curiously as he reread his part of the ritual, and something occurred to him. He would have to be naked. In front of a girl. Not just any girl. Hermione.

He had to be completely nude in front of Hermione Jean Granger, his best friend since first year. The only girl that had ever gotten to know him, the only person that could understand what he was saying without him having to speak a single word. He, had to stand in front of her completely, and utterly starkers.

Joy.

"Hermione..." Harry intoned nervously as he line about his future exposed status again, hoping that he'd realize that it was just a mistake. That instead he had to kill a basilisk with nothing but an old, tattered hat, a sword belonging to the founders that he had no idea how to use properly, and a phoenix again. Maybe instead he had to prevent some psycho from gaining immortality again. Or beat a troll only using the levitating charm cast by his only friend.

You know, something that wasn't about to kill him from embarrassment.

"I know Harry, but it's necessary. I promise that I won't tell anyone about anything I see..." Hermione answered as she looked away from him with a heavy blush on her cheeks.

Reluctantly Harry started undressing. As he pulled down his underwear Hermione gasped, before averting her eyes and blushing deeper than ever before. The noise caused Harry to falter for a moment, before he continued while looking anywhere but towards Hermione. The ritual had to continue.

Elsewhere in the castle, an old man was looking at a glowing device that was spinning with multiple colors flashing over its surfaces. "I wonder what this means..." Dumbledore mused as he looked at the device curiously. "Ah! It must be my lemon drop reminder... yes that sounds wonderful!"

Far away from the castle run by a completely barmy old man, where cold blooded murderers were left to run free, monsters were part of the 'charm', and one young man was constantly in danger from the people who were supposed to be raising him. There was a beautiful woman with silky black hair peering into a temped pool, watching the proceedings with interest. "Prrr... the dear little kitties are making a mistake... but it is not my place to tell them..."

Watching the ritual she smiled as she saw the reaction of the two young humans. "A new pantheon forms... I wonder if they need an advisor..." with that the woman flashed her toothy grin, baring razor sharp fangs to the air. Turning away from the pool, she shifted into the form of a jet black cat that leaped through the air, only to vanish. "I must tell Hades about this... he will love it! And that gossip Inari too... that old vixen would love to sink her claws into this..."

Back on the mortal plane Harry was stepping into the now enlarged cauldron to soak in the potion. A few minutes later he said the ritualistic words and felt a small rush of power. He felt more powerful than before and he only had two 'followers' so far. Hermione held out her hand to help him out of the potion with Dobby's help as she muttered the ritual phrase under her breath at the simplicity of it. Before she could get Harry out a wave of light coursed over her body and she felt the same rush of power. "Ummmm, Harry... What just happened?" she asked with a panicked tone of voice hoping the newly crowned god could help her.

"Mmm... well my prrrretty, you two arrre the starrrt of a new pantheon..." a raven haired woman purred as she melted from the shadows into the room itself. "Welcome to godhood my dearrrs..."

Looking at Hermione closer, she smiled widely showing off her fangs while the cat-like slits of her pupils narrowed in mirth. "I was hoping you'd be a cat rrright now... Well, who do you think rrreally caused that 'amateurrr mistake' last yearrrr?"

"Y... you wanted me to be a cat-person?" Hermione asked in shock, more at the fact that someone was paying that type of attention to her, than to the fact that a goddess was here admitting to such a plot.

"Well, you saved me when you werrre five... It's a common trait of how our two species meet... As well as the exchange of a gift for those who we favorrr that way..." the goddess stated with a devilish smirk on her face as two cat ears popped free of her hair, "rrrememberrr the cat you gave that batterrred fish at the seaside?"

"Y...yes..." Hermione answered, remembering the small black cat that had been trapped in a hole until she pulled it out and treated it to some fish.

"Well, I could tell even then you had a feline soul... a simple strrress frrracturrre, and a misrrread page... And a new feline goddess of knowledge is soon to be born..." the cat-woman purred, "I wonderrr how long beforrre you'll rrreverrrt?"

"Rrreverrrt?" Hermione asked, before slapping a hand over her mouth as she realized she'd just purred it back to the cat-woman before her, steeling herself as she continued, forcing herself to not purr, "Before we continue w...who are you?"

"My name... is Bast, or Bastet." The cat-woman purred, "I have been watching you forrr many yearrrs, kitten... Either purr-sonally or through one of my subjects..."

Hermione thought back through several kittens and cats she'd met over the years, as well as one or two that her family had owned, only to have them disappear like all pets do eventually, and realized that she had been effectively surrounded by cats.

"Crrrookshanks was one of the latest, was he not... A definite happy accident considerrring therrre's a mouse that needs catching..." Bast added, "Well, the rat smells wrrrong..."

"Have you met a black dog?" Hermione tried, testing a theory.

"The dog star is one to follow. I never thought I'd say this, but you need his help to catch the mouse." Bast purred, before she hissed, "NEVER tell anyone I said for a cat to trust a dog."

She then transformed into a black cat, and disappeared back into the shadows, leaving them to figure out what happened.


	12. Letters

_Hermione,_

_I know this is rather last minute, but I need your help with my potions essay. I know I should have been working on it in the infirmary while I was recovering from the dragons, but those potions she kept forcing down my throat just drained me. If you'll do this for me, I'll get Ron to lay off you for a few weeks. Please, help me._

_Harry_

* * *

_Harry,_

_I'll let you in on a little secret. I found this room in third year from some directions in Hogwarts: A History... According to it, it's called the Room Of Requirement._

_Wish we'd had it during Year 2, since it provided me with a really nice study room, with adjoining potions lab done in the style of a muggle 'clean room', rather than how Snape seems to do it. I'd be happy to share it with you._

_Hermione_

* * *

Harry sighed as he lowered the paper that had appeared seconds after he sent Hermione his message. The room sounded perfect for what he needed for a study room throughout the rest of the year, at the very least so he could survive the coming events of the Triwizards Tournament. If only she could have told him about it before the dragon fiasco as he'd come to think about it.

Finding a training area was hard enough before Malfoy started bribing everyone to hunt down any acceptable areas and fill them up. It was annoying, spiteful, and just plain out malicious. Not to mention it showed off his complete lack of sneakiness... bloody little ferret.

Pulling out another quill, he shook his head and replaced it in the holder on the side of his desk. He'd have to set up an appointment with Hermione, but did he have to divert Ron's attention from him getting help without him tagging along. Something was needed, and he knew exactly what it was going to cost. But how to get him to agree...

"Hey Harry, do you know where Hermione is? I need her to help me with my potions homework again. I'd do it myself but you know Snape..." Ron asked with the same pathetic excuse he had always used to try and get Hermione or Harry to help him. Harry quietly wondered how he'd always fell for it, but, ironically, he also gave Harry the very trigger he needed by asking this time.

"Ron... Can't you just once do your own homework?" Harry stated with a small smirk on his face, taking out a chocolate frog packet, tapping it so it would croak. He had to play this one carefully, not to show him that he was being played. "You know what? I bet that you can't do your Potions essay by yourself, without Hermione or anyone else's help. That's why you're always asking for our help."

"What're we betting?" Ron asked, getting red in the face as his fingers tightened against his text. Ooo it looked like Harry had hit a nerve with that one.

"How about a chocolate frog per passing grades in proportion to how hard it is? Acceptable is one, Exceeds Expectations is three, and if you should manage an Outstanding I'll give you ten. Just to sweeten the pot, I'll throw in an hour a week on my Firebolt per grade. And if you manage to get Snape to pass out points for it, I will give you my broom for an entire week. Assuming you don't break it of course," Harry answered smoothly while putting the chocolate frogs on the top of his sheets. "Your side... you don't ask for any help with any homework until after the second task."

He watched as Ron's face grew redder with rage, while his eyes lit with greed over the prospect of having ten chocolate frogs. It would take just one more little push to get him to accept, and now Harry had to reel him in. "But if you don't think you can..."

"If I succeed, you give me chocolate frogs at the same rate for every essay after it, with or without Hermi- anyone's help," Ron countered while glaring at the boy he thought was just using the tournament to get more glory for himself when it should be Ron's.

"Deal, I'll even add in that if you get an O for the next three, I'll double the frogs each time," Harry agreed, holding out his hand.

Ron's face lit up with the thoughts of Chocolate Frogs dancing in his head as he took Harry's hand and shook it firmly. "Deal."

As Ron flopped down on his bunk, Harry couldn't help but smile as he packed up his own scrolls and texts. "I'll just let you work in private Ron..."

Getting down to the common room, he looked around curiously for Hermione, but not finding her, decided to send her a Wiz-Mail.

* * *

_Hermione,_

_Ron's distracted, can explain later. Want to meet up to go to the RoR? Otherwise I'm going to the library to do my essay._

_Harry._

* * *

_Harry,_

_The instructions are on page 584. Meet me there._

_When we go in, don't touch the experiment running in the back part of the potions area, I'm working on something there that's very delicate._

_Hermione_

* * *

Pulling out his copy of Hogwarts: A History, Harry flipped open the book, and began thumbing through it to page 584. "580... 582... 585... wait..." Harry paused to flip through where the page belonged, but he couldn't find any trace of the page, save the fact the book seemed to no longer have an accurate page count.

Frowning, he snapped his book shut and tucked it away into his pack. Well that wasn't going to be much use, so instead of hunting for the page futilely, he checked the shelves of Gryffindor's common room, and didn't find a copy there.

Sighing heavily he pulled out another Wiz-Mail sheet, and wrote a quick message to Hermione.

* * *

_Hermione,_

_I think I need a new copy, mine's missing page 584. Can I just meet you somewhere?_

_Harry_

* * *

_Harry,_

_Tap this letter, and say what caused my furry problem in second year. It'll give you a duplicate of the missing page. Meet me in a couple of hours. I need to deal with something._

_Hermione_  
_P.S Don't take your book with you._

* * *

Shrugging, Harry slipped his book into the shelves. If Hermione advised him to leave the book behind, he wasn't about to argue. Slinging his bag onto his shoulder he tucked the message into his bag and headed for the Great Hall for a snack before going to the library to study until Hermione was ready.

Walking into the Great Hall, he found an empty seat at the Gryffindor table. A few seconds after he arrived, a plate of biscuits and tea arrived for him. Normally, he'd have welcomed the snack, but today he wanted something else. Reaching over the plate of biscuits, he plucked up an apple and a pear.

Sliding the plate aside, he propped open his Potion's text, trying to give Hermione an easier time with trying to help him.

While he was doing this, Hermione slipped over to the shelves he'd put his book on, taking it down, and doing a simple page counting spell, comparing it to her copy. "A dozen pages short?" She muttered, heading towards the library with both books. If she was right, someone was up to something.

When she showed the books to Madame Pince, she muttered something about not eating chocolate while reading, and botched duplication spells.

"Whoever Mr. Potter loaned his copy to is a heathen." Madame Pince almost growled, "Things about places like the Chamber Of Secrets effectively ripped out... The most recent forceful alteration removed several pages about the Triwizard Tournament. Whoever is using this for research needs to duplicate the information not remove it!"

"Can you do a magical trace?" Hermione asked, for Madame Pince to nod, then she took out a library card, and cast a simple flame spell on it.

"When you next see Ronald Weasley, tell him his library privileges are hereby revoked for vandalism of a rare book." Madame Pince explained, getting a fresh copy of Hogwarts A History out, "Thankfully, We do have spare copies of the ones we get in for muggleborn students, since, for some reason, not all of them actually collect them on the first day."

Hermione nodded, and prepared her next message, leaving after it was sent.

* * *

_Harry,_

_I had to, well, steal your book. I got it replaced since Madame Pince found chocolate stains on several of the pages and that someone had, seemingly while researching things that were going on over the past few years, used a rather poor version of a duplication spell, that took the page out of the book._

_According to her, it was Ron. She's destroyed his library card, and... oh right... will be consulting with McGonagall about removing 1000 points from Gryffindor unless Ron, through work or actual money, pays for the vandalized book._

_Hermione_

* * *

Harry blinked as his attention to his notes were interrupted by the soft rustling of a Wiz-Mail delivery. Picking up the missive, he gave it a read before setting it down and thinking about what it had told him. Ron had done the vandalism to the book Hermione had given him as a gift?

That was just wrong, on so many levels. He didn't mind Hermione borrowing his book, since she found out what was wrong with it. However, it was what she found out that made him angry. If Ron really had destroyed his book, he should have at least fessed up to it, not kept silent.

Pulling out his reply sheet, he penned a quick message before returning to his notes.

* * *

_Hermione,_

_I don't care about being repaid, but try to keep her from taking those points. You cannot hope to possible earn enough to cover that, even with my help. I'm a bit pissed about him not owning up to the destruction, but I know accidents happen. From how you write it though, it wasn't one, was it?_

_Harry._

* * *

_Harry,_

_2 pages on Nicholas Flamel, 4 pages on Salazar Slytherin, MOST of the sections on the Triwizard Tournament, anything mentioning secret passages that the authors discovered..._

_I got a dozen pages from checking with my copy, only to find someone had attempted to do the same to my copy. Since it was only the 'botched' spell, Ginny will still have a library card for the rest of her time at Hogwarts..._

_Have you noticed Ron doing anything near your things that is odd? I know Ginny hides her wrists and hands from me every morning after I had Crookshanks use my trunk as a sleeping location, especially since the lovable kitty always seems to have drawn blood on someone every morning..._

_Hermione_

* * *

Harry blinked slowly as he thought about what exactly Hermione might have been considered 'odd' for Ron. There was that time he'd walked in on Ron rifling through his trunk for his Transfiguration text. He'd set it on the top of the rest so that he could just grab it first thing in the morning. That was odd, right?

As he kept thinking about it, there was just something off about the multiple times Ron would be browsing his trunk's contents for things he'd either forgotten at home, or ran out of and needed a quick replacement for.

It was amazing how he'd suddenly run out of usable ink bottles every other day... Especially after Harry got him a self-filling one that 'accidentally' was always lost mere days later, but was found miraculously in time for class since he 'couldn't find one' in Harry's things.

That might have to do with Harry having an ever-full inkwell himself, and never lent it out unless he was sitting right there using it. Hermione had got it for him as a 'thank-you' gift after the Troll incident.

While he was on it, he wondered just how many incidents he had at this school. There seemed to be an unusually high number of 'incidents' that involved him or one of his friends. Maybe it was time for another Wiz-Mail.

* * *

_Hermione,_

_Too many 'odd' things involving Ron to mention in messages. Just wondering, is there usually this many incidents in a student's time at Hogwarts?_

_If not, know how I can transfer schools?_

_Harry_

* * *

_Harry,_

_I'll look into it, I was talking with Madame Maxine, and well, see attached photograph for a possible picture of me when this year ends._

_I wish to mention something that I just noticed. Remember the design of Tom Riddle's diary? Me and He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Feared-Any-More share diary suppliers..._

_If I'd have got that diary, I'd have probably mistakenly thought it was a new one of mine!_

_Hermione_

* * *

A look at the picture had him blushing beet red, and swallowing his tongue. Hermione had always been kind of cute in his opinion, but that uniform just... oh he hoped this wasn't going to turn into a fetish for him. That would probably chase away any girls he might be able to get to consider him for a boyfriend. Well, unless they were FROM Beauxbatons.

Feeling eyes falling on him, he kept the still stunned stupid expression on his face, before trying to look less like a guy that had just been given a nudey picture and looking around guiltily. He caught a few student's watching him, but what was more interesting was that Dumbledore and Snape were both watching him.

He did not like that.

Instead of writing a reply to Hermione, he chose to continue writing his notes for Potions. Once he finished out the piece of parchment, he pulled out a new sheet along with a Wiz-Mail paper. Laying them out on top of each other, he made it look like he was writing more notes, instead of a message.

* * *

_Top Marks,_

_Being watched by Snape and Dumbledore. Do not like the looks they're giving me. Meet me where we talked about earlier._

_Raven_

* * *

Not even pausing a moment in his writing, he tapped the send corner, which vanished the paper to where Hermione was, and switched to writing out on the parchment. A few minutes later, he packed up his belongings and stood up.

He'd almost made it out of the Great Hall when Dumbledore stopped him. "Mr. Potter, I can't help but notice you using the new Wizarding Mail system while doing your homework. I trust it is not being too disruptive, I can of course have them rerouted if you'd prefer."

"No sir, it was just Hermione helping me out, and a single junk message from someone. No need to bother yourself," Harry answered quietly, shifting his book bag on his shoulder. "I'm sorry sir, but I really do have to go to the library to do some research..."

"Ah, I see... well then, don't let me detain you," Dumbledore stated before turning away and heading for his office. "Oh, and Mr. Potter? Do tell the junk mailer to not send such pictures, I do believe it might be bad for your health."

"I... I will sir," Harry answered before walking away like a boy that had been caught and scolded by the Headmaster. He nearly had enough to make a passable attempt at his potions essay, but he felt that Hermione might be able to point him in the right direction to really solidify it.

Pulling out the message with the instructions on it, he looked around nervously before touching his wand to it and whispering 'polyjuice'. Thankful he had tucked his wand inside his sleeve, and used his finger to cover the actual tip of where it touched the page, Harry began making his way to the meeting point.

Getting to where the message told him the room would be, he found the door open and waiting for him. Shrugging it off as Hermione being there early to prepare, he entered the room and shut the door behind him. It was at that moment that he caught sight of the room's other occupant and blinked slowly.

Hermione was dressed... rather too casually, a small trolley sat next to her with a pair of still wrapped copies of Hogwarts A History on it, near to some kind of sealed off chamber. "The House Elves helped me work out how to set up the Room Of Requirement so, if someone was to come here while we're using it, they'd not enter this room. It's normally used for house elves to use the place to get sober due to butterbeer's odd effects on them."

"Uh... right..." Harry answered with a slight blush as he looked around, or at least not at how nice Hermione looked in that outfit. "W...Where's the desk? I want to get my essay done, I have most of my notes finished, just wanted you to take a look and give me your advice..."

As he said that, a desk appeared with two of some kind of adjustable comfy chair, similar to one he'd seen Vernon almost break when he'd visited Grunnings to drop off his lunch, several self-sharpening quills and a self-filling inkwell already waiting. Hermione sat in one, beckoning for him to use the other.

Harry took the indicated chair, still fighting against the urge to stare at Hermione, she just looked so inviting. A buzzer then sounded, and Hermione sighed. "Do not disturb me for the next 15 minutes," she stated firmly, taking out a plastic card, and sliding it through a slot in the wall beside the door she'd been near earlier. It gave a quiet buzzing sound, and she opened it, going through, then a red light above it lit up the words 'Experiment in progress'.

Instead of asking any questions, he began reviewing his notes and trying to figure out what was missing from them in order to write up the Potions essay. When Hermione returned half a hour later, she looked slightly frazzled and had changed into a much more conservative, in some ways, tailored suit.

"Eurgh, that's another failed experiment," She muttered, flexing slightly, Harry noting that her back didn't 'pop' when she stretched back.

As he watched, Hermione got out a pad from inside the suit and noting something after she'd finished, before placing it back, both acts not damaging the cut of the suit at all.

"What was?" Harry asked curiously without looking up from his essay.

"You'll find out... I hope the side-effects get slightly less disorientating with time." She sighed, blinking a few times as she tried to focus, "Someone just decided to use the Room to get a chamber pot... Smelt like Dumbledore..."

Harry paused his writing as he put together exactly what Hermione had meant. "I... did not need to know that..." Harry finally stated before taking a few discreet whiffs, noticing that he couldn't smell anything. Shrugging it off, he looked over his essay with a dismal frown.

"You should try listing the potions in order of effectiveness... You've just listed them, rather than organizing them. Also, the third one down is misspelled." Hermione explained caringly as she looked over his essay, not really noting the fact she was halfway across the room still, "Follow me, and make sure to put safety equipment on."

"Safety equipment? Umm... sure..." Harry answered as he pulled out a clean piece of parchment to redo the potion essay after coming back from whatever Hermione wanted him to look at. She then opened the sealed area, showing him in, several form-fitting suits of some kind lined up in the small room inside, one of the doors out marked 'Biohazard - Do not enter for 24 hours' on a screen.

"Take a suit, put it on, then we'll go over the potions in a more practical way. This area is soundproofed and is fairly good for most concussive spells, but don't set one off anyway, since it will disrupt the electricity," she explained, not bringing up the fact it was USING electricity at all.

Harry followed her instructions, and then her further into her potions lab, ignoring the fact that electricity shouldn't be working at Hogwarts at all. If the Room had set it up so that that little rule was ignored, he wasn't about to question it. What he found as they came into the laboratory, he was stunned into silence.

Every ingredient that they could need was stored in a area behind a Plexiglas shield, with several bottles waiting for them to use, and gloves for their arms so they wouldn't even need to go into the sealed room.

"This isn't the same as the other lab... Well, That actually has things that need someone to use them," Hermione explained, "This is purely for experimenting. Even if we were to invent a new form of explosive compound by accident, we won't get blown up by it. Now, What's the first potion?"

And the next hour or so was purely mixing and preparing each of the potions, noting about it's color, texture... by the time that Harry left, his essay was comparable to one of Hermione's in length, and was missing some details so Snape wouldn't accuse him of stealing several incredibly rare ingredients.

What did confuse him was what Hermione's other lab was for, if it wasn't a partitioned experimentation room... and what had happened to her first outfit...

The following day, Harry was sitting in Snape's class, watching as the greasy git prowled the classroom like a bat with a stick wedged firmly up it's ass. Hermione seemed to have recovered from her odd 'sensory overload', and was back in her normal school uniform.

Snape seemed to be especially pissed when Harry handed in his homework, on time, even after being in the medical wing for a little over a week. "Hmm... I'll give you a E for that work. Some mistakes, but nothing too life-threatening." He said, before moving to Draco's, "Meanwhile, Draco, good job on your essay, not hard to give you a O for that, 400 points for Slytherin for that work. I'm disappointed in you, Ms. Granger. Even you made some elementary mistakes in your essay. E for you as well."

Harry bit his tongue, as he noted that Draco's essay wasn't even a quarter of his, and nowhere near comparable to Hermione's. She muttered something, causing a piece of paper to appear on her desk, and scowled. Even as he watched Ron's grading, he protected the message she send over with his free hand until Snape's back was turned to him in order to really tear into Ron.

* * *

_Harry,_

_I had a look at Draco's essay. The information Draco used to get that O... It's not in the official potions texts!_

_Someone gave him information that meant that he could get a perfect grade. Yes, we went over all the potions, but it wouldn't matter... I checked each of the 'adjustments' we needed to make in our essays against Draco's slip of paper. Everything we got marked down on... was something mentioned in Draco's essay as a 'adjustment I observed while looking over the ingredients given in the inadequate textbooks provided'._

_Hermione_  
_P.S Who do we know who IS a Potions Master, and WOULD for real know of a misprint?_

* * *

Harry read over the message quietly for a few minutes before calmly stacking his books and papers. Raising his hand, he waited for Snape to look at him before standing up and facing him squarely. "Professor Snape, the Headmaster has requested a meeting with me and Hermione to deal with my training for the next phase of the tournament. May we be excused?"

"Of course," Snape answered in his slimy drawling voice, smirking, as if he knew something they didn't, "I'm sure the meeting will go swimmingly."

Harry strode over to where Hermione was gathering her things, and waited until she was ready before escorting her out of the Potions Dungeon. Once they were clear of the dungeons, Harry continued leading her away from there, heading towards the abandoned West Wing. "Hermione... I think we need assistance."

"I definitely do," Hermione agreed with no less angry venom than Harry had in his voice, before adding, cryptically, "Let's just say that I've spent the equivalent of my entire time at this school dealing with accidents I have in my little laboratory, and I need a fresh opinion before I kill myself."

"I have a puppy that would be nice, but he's running from a mess he left on the carpet... but I think I know of a few friends that can help us..." Harry mused as they made it to the West Wing. Picking one of the classrooms at random he pulled out his Marauder's Map and whispered the activation phrase. "Good... none of them are in class..."

"Interesting activation phrase," Hermione muttered, "Kinda expected from your father and his school friends though."

"You may thank two of the three that I have in mind for teaching me it," Harry answered before pulling out a sheet of the W-Mail and began penning his message. Hermione just watched, conjuring up a ball of yarn and using it like a bouncy ball for some reason.

* * *

_Copper and Rust,_

_It is time for the Marauders to reawaken, meet the Chocolate and I on the seventh floor in one hour, if you wish to join us._

_Emerald_

* * *

_Ivory,_

_You've always seemed to know what needs to be done, and when. I trust you to know who I am, and where to meet me. Please bring the latest Quibbler._

_Emerald_


	13. The Resistance

June 3, 1983

Minerva McGonagall wedged the slice of wood between the door frame and door, before using Transfiguration to turn it and the surrounding area into a solid piece of stone. Having locked herself into the room, she gulped as she turned to complete her final mission for Albus. He had not ordered it as such, but she knew that it was a suicide mission nonetheless.

She couldn't see a life beyond him, and he was currently swarmed by Death Eaters and Voldemort downstairs, trying to buy her enough time to perform this last act of defiance. Walking to the large tome in the center of the room, she gulped down a breath, trying to steel herself for what she was about to do. "I Minerva McGonagall, Deputy Headmistress of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry call upon the Tome of Registration, show me the students with the name beginning in H, of all the years future."

At the end of the command, the book snapped open and flipped open, to show off a page inside which extended down onto the floor, where it rolled in on itself. Putting her hands on the tome, she swallowed deeply as she was about to violate one of her most sacred duties as a professor and as the Deputy Headmistress.

With a quick jerk she ripped out the page containing the names of H, and rolled it into the scroll that had started. Looking at it, she realized that the very salvation of the Wizarding World now rested in her hands. Harry Potter's location was listed on this scroll as were several other students that could be able to help him. But she would never see it come to that. "Scotty, come here please..."

With nary a whisper, a house elf dressed in a kilt of the McGonagall clan livery arrived and looked up at Minerva curiously. "What can Scotty be doin' fer ye Minnie?"

A faint smile crossed her lips as she knelt down and hugged the house elf that had been almost like a father to her growing up, she loved him dearly, and knew that he was the only one that she could trust to complete this mission. "Scotty, I need you to take this scroll to Professor Flitwick... And then serve him in any need he might have."

"Aye, I can be doin' that Minnie, but..." Scotty started when the first reducto struck the door she'd sealed shut.

"GO! I've got work to do here, that scroll must be kept safe!" the Scottish teacher ordered as she pushed the list of students into the elf's hands. With tears stinging his eyes, Scotty vanished and Minerva was alone. There was only one thing left to do now.

Turning on the book that held the names of all the students past, present, and future she steeled herself for the ritual that she was about to perform. Raising her wand up in front of her face, she glared past it at the book that rested on the podium before her. "I, Minerva McGonagall, as the Deputy Headmistress of Hogwarts, on my blood and magic do order that the Tome of Registration be destroyed!"

Feeling the ritual fail, she knew that there was only one possible reason, and as another reducto rattled the strengthened door, she amended the ritual. "I, Minerva McGonagall, the Headmistress of Hogwarts, on my blood and magic do order that the Tome of Registration be destroyed!"

There was that drain she had expected, as she watched the tome light with a pure white flame, destroying any trace of what had once been the only roll of students available. This was the end, the Tome was destroyed, her magic all but gone, and the enemy at the gates. Turning to face the door, she readied herself for the final confrontation her eyes misting over with tears. 'I've done what I can do to secure their future. My only regrets are that I won't live to see it, and that I don't have more power to hit him with when he shows his slimy face.'

"Máthair, Áthair your bonnie wee lass is coming home," the fatalistic teacher stated as the heat of the burning tome died off, leaving her alone in the room, ready to fight off the wolves at the door. "Albus, my heart, please wait for me..."

Just as the door was giving way, allowing her to see the cold eyes of Voldemort, his hand raised to deliver the fatal spell to end her, she felt a tiny hand grab onto hers and suddenly she was no longer in Hogwarts. Instead she was in a tiny thatch cottage on one of the small outlying British Isles. "Minnie be safe now!" she heard the familiar voice of Scotty proclaim, as her eyes fell on the short form of Flitwick, still holding the scroll.

Slowly she smiled a sad grimace of thanks for the rescue, having been prepared to die that day in that room. Even as she formed the words to express her thanks, she felt her legs give out under herself, and a wave of exhaustion washed over her and she knew no more than blackness.

June 23, 1991

Harry gulped as he looked around at the area surrounding the trio of nice looking chicken pot pies that were sitting on the Wizard's windowsill to cool. There were only three of them, so Harry knew that he'd never get any, just like the past two nights, but that didn't matter. His job was to get them so that his Uncle, his Aunt, and his Cousin Dudley could get enough to eat.

This was where his special talents came in handy, licking his lips he extended his hand out and willed those pies to him. Once again, the pies vanished from the windowsill, and stacked themselves on top of his outstretched hand. He ignored the searing pain, as he slowly lowered the pies into the basket that his Aunt had scavenged from their house before it was raided years ago. The pain would fade, and his hand would heal. It always did.

He didn't know what the Wizards had against the non-magical people, or Muggle filth, as they were called. When Harry started showing signs of being magical, his Aunt and Uncle tried to use him to buy themselves some grace, until Harry had pointed out that only he'd be safe, as he was the magical one, and they weren't.

The plans to use him for safety and security in this dark new world of Witches and Wizards hunting Muggles for sport ended that night, along with them thinking he was useless. Sadly it was during his first heist for food that he'd realized that he wasn't safe. They took one look at him, spotted the scar on his forehead and began shooting spells at him. Oddly enough, it wasn't the sickly green spells they shot at Muggles, but instead a deep, almost blood red spell.

Since then, he'd learned how to blend in with his surroundings, hide his magic, and use it without one of those long, pointy stick thingies that the Wizards and Witches used. His magical status was hidden from the other muggles when they met any, mostly so that they wouldn't be targeted by both sides of the endless slaughter.

They'd heard of a few other muggles that had powers, Mudbloods or something like the wizards called them, some were elevated on a pedestal, until the Wizards came and killed them. Others were put to death by the muggles around them, who were then likewise killed by bouts of uncontrolled magic by the magical muggles, or by the arrival of Wizards and Witches who killed everyone at once, regardless if they were magical or not.

Closing his eyes, he willed himself away from this place, feeling a familiar sensation of his left ear itching, he reappeared not moments later in a service tunnel beneath what had once been London's Paddington Station. Scratching his ear, he glanced around the tunnel warily. It was the nearest safe point he could think of to his relatives that was hard for the Wizards to get to, due mostly to the large amounts of metal in the way.

Or at least he thought that was why none of the Wizards cracked into the area he had hidden in for a few weeks about a year back... or they just had no common sense to speak of.

Looking around he smiled as he found that there were again no Wizards or Witches watching, and he could make his way back to his relatives. Making his way through the maze of tunnels, he kept looking around nervously as though he knew that a Wizard or Witch would pop out of one of the side-tunnels at any moment and kill him.

Fortunately for him, no magic users came out and started blasting away at him. Coming to an intersection of tunnels, he marked off a new section of wall, and took a corresponding tunnel so he couldn't be tracked. After a few minutes he found himself arriving at the open door of what had probably been a break room. Taking a glance inside, he smiled as he spotted a vending machine that hadn't been smashed open already. Sneaking into the room, he found some chocolate cupcakes that would make a good birthday treat for Dudley on one of the racks inside. They looked like they were still fresh inside their wrappers, and better still, there were nearly a dozen of them. He might get one of them!

Summoning the cupcakes out one at a time would take far too long, however he had another method for getting the food out. Waving his hand over the glass keeping him out, he focused on getting it to vanish. With a smirk he noticed the glass was now gone, and he could raid the foodstuffs with ease. He started with the boxed products first, and then moved on to the crisps and finally on top of those he placed the cupcakes that were his prize for the night. The basket was a little full, but that meant that he wouldn't have to go hungry tonight, he hoped. He just wished there was a drink machine that he could raid, instead of the coffee pot that had mold growing inside it, and the water spigot.

Leaving the room, he continued on, finding his winding way towards the surface once again. Seeing the last rays of daylight bouncing off the stairway wall, he sighed and knew that he'd be exposed the second his head hit light. In the shadows there was a lot of security, but the light removed that and he would be killed the moment he was spotted.

Or at least that's what he'd always thought during this little food raids.

Not that he'd been proven wrong the few times that Wizards had caught sight of him or anything, but he still knew that he had to take the chance to get the food back in time for his relatives supper, or he'd be beaten. Taking great care not to expose himself too much, he slowly peeked over the top of the stairwell, and found the surface just as abandoned as the underground had been.

With a deep frown he spotted the nearest service hallway which was darkened due to the Wizards having long ago destroyed the power stations. That would have to be the next location he went to, it offered him the most security after all. However, he hated using his powers so much in a small area like this. It probably meant that the Wizards could track him easier.

A quick fading of his surroundings later, and Harry was allowing his eyes to adjust to the sudden darkness he'd entered. Looking out into the open area he shook his head and began using the employee passages to make his way to the Southern exit. There was a path hidden by the ruins of several buildings that had once surrounded the train station.

Gulping down his nerves, he made his way swiftly through the maze of stones, glass, and steel that had once been structures not too long ago. The best security he had was to move fast and in a seemingly random pattern to prevent anyone from easily targeting him. The best shot at him would be from the air, but with parts of the buildings covering most of the path, he was fairly safe from any one of those damned broom riders.

Getting out of the maze of ruined buildings, he found himself in Hyde Park, which was thankfully overgrown with un-managed and wild plants, giving him a lot of cover as he made his way towards the hiding place that his relatives should be waiting for him.

What he had expected was nowhere near what he found when he arrived at the run down building that had been their latest hiding place. He expected them to be sitting around, grumbling about him taking his time to arrive, when instead he found the three of them sprawled out as though they'd been tripped while running away, and then frozen after they landed.

He knew exactly what had happened, as there was no signs of them breathing, and no signs of damage to their bodies. The killing curse, Avada Kadavra, had been used. He'd seen it done countless times when the Wizards had trapped Muggles or even the 'Mudbloods'. Biting back the urge to rush over and cradle his relatives, he wiped away the stinging in his eyes and left them there.

He couldn't do anything for them now, and it was most likely one of those Wizards were still hanging around to find out if anyone came for them. After a few dozen paces he paused and realized that there was something he could do, that wouldn't expose him too directly if he faded out of the area immediately after. Focusing on the area that his relatives had fallen he raised a closed fist, as his focus intensified it began shaking with barely restrained power. Snapping open his hand, he sent out a shock wave that caused the ruin to collapse its weak roof in on itself, creating a funeral cairn for his relatives.

Hopefully it had crushed that Wizard, but he wasn't about to hope for that. A second later, he faded out of there, and reappeared in the tunnels of Paddington Station again. There was nowhere else for him to go, no one else he could live for, no one but himself. Leaning against the nearest wall, he slumped down in misery and allowed himself the first bit of weakness in memory.

He cried.

July 31, 1991

It had been a little over a month since he'd lost his family to the Wizards, and Harry was spending his birthday in hiding under Paddington Station. He'd managed to survive off of the pot pies, vending machine goods, and water until now, but he was currently eating the last of his supplies, a cupcake that he'd reserved for his birthday.

It was just the same as every single one before it, but for some reason it tasted better than the others. Maybe it was because he knew he had to make it last, and his mind was making sure that it was an enjoyable experience, or it might be that it tasted good to him because he'd worked so hard to preserve it.

Just before the last bite entered his mouth, he caught sight of the strangest thing he'd ever seen, which is saying something. A black owl was flying down the dim corridors, straight at him. Now usually this meant only trouble, and so he did what anyone in his position would have done. He popped the last little bit of chocolate baked goods into his mouth and ran like a bat out of hell.

Having spent the past almost a whole month exploring these tunnels, he knew them like the back of his hand. He'd also spent a little time plotting out and marking fast and easy escape routes that doubled back, just in case the Wizards came for him. The owl was one of their creatures, and thus was just as bad in his books. For all he knew the owl was being followed by a wizard as he spoke, or was one of those wizards that turn into animals. There were many rumors that such wizards were about, and he wouldn't put it past them.

Looking ahead, he spotted another owl, this one larger and grey, come swooping in from one of his side tunnels. Turning down one closer, heading in the opposite direction from the ones pursuing him. Ten turns, and another owl later, he found himself stuck in a dead end section of tunnel that had collapsed a while ago.

Whipping around, he found the three owls glaring at him while their chests heaved from the exertion he'd forced them through tonight. He met their glares with one of his own, promising to make their masters pay when they arrived. He wasn't about to go down without a fight, not that he figured he could do much good against trained Wizards and Witches, but he would take as many of them with him as he could when he went.

One of the owls turned to it's companions, and hooted something softly before flitting forward so that it was just out of range of Harry's fists and legs. Once it settled down, it held out its leg upon which seemed to be tied a scroll of some sort. At the owl's urging, Harry knelt down and carefully untied the scroll before scrambling back. The white owl seemed to understand the action, and halfway-hopped back to join the others.

Unrolling the scroll, he read it while keeping a close eye on the owls in front of him.

Mr. Harry Potter,

My name is Minerva McGonagall, and before I explain why I'm writing to you, let me give you a brief history lesson. Prior to 1983 the magical world in England was very much a secret from the Muggle-born. In June of that year, a man named Lord Voldemort rose to power and conquered most of the Wizarding World of the British Isles. He killed a great Wizard known as Albus Dumbledore, and ransacked a sanctuary of knowledge and learning called Hogwarts.

I know this because I was the Deputy Headmistress, and Albus was the Headmaster of the school. We fought valiantly to preserve the school as a bastion of hope and peace in the War, but in the end Voldemort won out. In one of my last actions before abandoning the school, I tore out a section of a book that wrote the names of the Magically-gifted children of England containing your name before destroying the entire book itself.

The reason I tore out the section with your name in it, at the orders of Albus, was because you were the one to have defeated the Dark Lord in 1981. We are uncertain what you could have done at such a young age, but it was hoped that you could save us.

As you might have guessed, I am a Witch. I like to believe that I was a fairly good one at that. Inside the both of us lies a power that needs to be trained and refined in order to fully bring its potential to bear. I would like to extend an offer to you to train you in how to use your magic properly. With me are Filious Flitwick, and Pomona Sprout, two former teachers and Heads of Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff House at Hogwarts. I was the head of Gryffindor.

This might not seem like much, but it meant a lot to us back then, and in the Wizarding World it still holds a little sway over some people. But this is not the reason I tell you this.

My reason is so that you know you can trust me. I will not force my intentions on you, though I may wish to advise you. I ask that you send in reply with this owl a message to set up a meeting at a location of your choice. Due to ailments suffered during the final actions, I will be unable to meet with you directly but Filious has volunteered and is an experience duelist should the need arise.

I would advise you to remain safe until we can meet, and to use a place you are familiar with, a time of your choosing, and to be on guard.

Please Harry, if nothing else, please let us try to help you.

Minerva McGonagall

Harry looked at the length letter quietly in thought as he debated on what he should do. He'd run out of rations for the foreseeable future, and this place had been compromised. That meant he had to move out before the Wizards arrived to do away with him.

This might be his only chance to survive, but before he risked it, he waved the other two owls over and took a look at their scrolls. Both were of a similar nature, but the handwriting, style, and tones were indeed different enough to be from three different people. Tearing off a piece of the parchment he pulled out an old pen he'd gotten once upon a time and wrote down 'Midnight - Paddington Station, by the bear statue. Have them say "Marmalade" so I know it's them. - Harry Potter'

Tying it back to the leg of the lead owl, he watched as they flew off. He would give them tonight, and the next two nights to make an appearance. If no one showed by then, he would head towards London and see about trying to get enough rations together to make a trip to the continent. After all, the letters did seem to indicate that the rest of the world wasn't the horror and squalor that London was. Maybe he could make it somewhere else, and get their help to liberate Britain.

At the very least, he wanted to be far enough away when the other nations got off their duffers and started turning the Isles into a smoking crater as Uncle Vernon used to say.

Pulling up his sleeve he looked at his watch and found that he had a good twenty hours to kill before it was time for the meeting. He could get some sleep once he made it back to the tool closet he'd turned into a bed.

Awaken around ten, he began setting up an observational point around the bear statue, complete with an easy to trip trap should the wizards show up in force. It was a simple matter of finding out which steel beam was the only thing holding up the roof over this part of the station, and studying it intently so that he could remove a good chunk of it at a moment's notice. He'd never done such a large portion of metal before, but if it took out many of those bastards that had killed his relatives, then he didn't care.

At least he'd go down fighting against them.

Around noon, he found himself clearing the area of debris, save for a few larger stones around his observational post. He figured that if he needed to fight them, he might as well ensure that wouldn't be an easy target. Easy targets got killed, hard targets usually took some with them.

Some lunch would have been nice, but he couldn't risk using too much magic. After all, they were Wizards, they had to have ways to track their primary weapon. It just made sense after all, even if those stupid pointy sticks seemed pointless when he could do the same without them.

"Marmalade," a voice said from right behind Harry causing the young boy to jump in shock, whirling around with a foot lashing out in what he hoped was a kick to catch the wizard off-guard. It would have caught a normal man in the chest, and probably sent him sprawling to the ground. For the target at hand, it merely passed overhead, while he chuckled. "Good instincts Mr. Potter..."

Having been caught off guard, Harry looked at the short man seriously while trying to plan out a way to escape. The short Wizard was standing there with smile on his face while pulling out one of those sticks slowly and to the side. Once the stick was clear, he laid it across the palm of his hands to present it to Harry. "I am Filius Flitwick."

"You're early..." Harry stated while glaring at the short man, this was a bad situation to deal with. "What are you doing with that stick thingie?"

Flitwick blinked slowly as he lowered his hands and tucked the wand back into his holster. "It's a wand Mr. Potter, and I was showing you that I meant no harm. As for why I was early... I believe that we were both doing the same thing. Preparing for a possible betrayal."

"So you wanted to teach me or something?" The much younger Harry asked the small man, still not relaxing his stance. After having heard so many stories of muggles getting killed by Wizards, and seeing more than a few personally, he wasn't about to start trusting one.

"Not here..." Filius stated while smoothing out his mustache. "Minerva, Poppy, and I would like to take you and anyone you are travelling with to a secure location to train you in fighting against magic users. The three of us are former professors at a school for training Wizards and Witches before this new dark regime arrived... We believe that you would have been invited to join us Mr. Potter."

"Y... you taught those murdering bastards?" Harry asked in rage as he flung his hand out towards the rest of London which he felt was crawling with those Wizards that had destroyed everything he'd ever considered good in life.

Flitwick took a step back, raising his hand in a placating manner. "Easy Mr. Potter, please calm down. If you yell we WILL be found, and you could trigger a bout of accidental magic."

Harry took a few calming breaths, letting his mind focus on the fact that the man was looking to resist the Wizards that were currently attacking everything that wasn't one of their own. Plus... accidental magic did sound dangerous. "If you're going to betray me..."

"I assure you I am not... but if you'd like, I could perform an oath on my magic and my life that no harm will come to you during the meeting," Flitwick offered, his face grim and stone serious at the offer he was making.

For some reason, Harry knew that the little man meant every word. If anything living on the street had taught him, it was that his gut instincts usually were right. If it said that he could trust this man, then he would, without the oath, but with a bit of security. "Give me your sti- wand instead..." Harry offered holding out his hand. "I'm not going to have your death on my hands if I stub my toe... so how are we going to get there?"

"Do you have somewhere private Mr. Potter?" Flitwick asked as he handed over the wand to the young boy. "There are four primary ways, broomsticks and floos are out because we lack brooms or a fireplace and powder. Portkeys are tracked by the Dark Wizards. So that means we have to apparate, and it is noisy. Especially with me having to side-along you so you can get through my wards."

"In the tunnels... I'll grab my pack and we can leave from there..." Harry decided after a moment's pause to choose a location. If he was thinking the right type of travel, it was that cracking noise that always alerted him to when the Wizards were on their raids. It was nice to have a name to associate with that troublesome form of transportation the Wizards used.

"Sounds good Mr. Potter, lead the way," Flitwick offered while pointing to the doorway that he assumed went into the tunnels that Harry had been talking about. Five minutes later, the diminutive former professor was very glad that he'd gotten back into dueling shape, as the young lad was leading him through a twisting, cluttered path that had him panting. Beyond that, many parts of the path had him thankful he wasn't taller than the boy.

A silent part of him wondered if the boy knew that his path would end up with a taller person being bashed in the head several times, and more than a few of those wires would have strangled them before they had a chance to realize what was going on.

"Sir, you mentioned that you taught wizards and witches..." Harry asked after they arrived to an open section with what looked to be an improvised bedroom off through one of the doorways. "It's not a new thing is it? The Wizarding and Witchcraft thing... not if you have schools for it..."

"No... it has been around for as long as there has been recorded history, if not longer," Flitwick answered as he settled in next to the door the boy had entered, presumably to gather his things.


	14. Getting Into a Book

It was a well known, nearly universally so, fact that Hermione Jean Granger loved to read. In fact there was seldom a time that she was not found either with her nose in a book, or with a book nearby as she talked with another person, usually about something that was in the book in question. It took someone that knew her intimately to notice that she would look at works of fiction longingly, before shaking herself and returning to whatever piece of non-fiction that she had available.

Now it is a rather sad state of affairs when such an obvious sign could be missed by so many. That outside of Hermione's parents, and Hermione herself, only one other took notice of it. Only one person that she had ever interacted with for any length of time was able to put the pieces together, that Hermione wanted to read fiction, but something was stopping her.

Harry James Potter, was about to do something to grant her that wish to read fiction. He had taken great pains to transfigure the outside of a copy of some muggle fiction novel that Dudley had framed him for stealing years ago so that it looked like his Transfiguration text. No, the irony was not lost on him.

He had only read it once, but even then it had seemed like a fantastic fantasy adventure that Harry was almost certain that Hermione would love to read.

Slipping the book onto the table, Harry opened it to a random page, and began to write some notes out of it, as though revising for a test they were sure to be having next week. After a few minutes, he paused and scratched his head, trying to act confused about some part or other. Finally with a heavy sigh, he looked up to see Hermione watching him, and with a helpless shrug he waved her over. "Mione, would you mind helping me with this part? I'm stumped..."

That was another wonderful fact about Hermione, she loved to help out her friends with their work, especially if like what Harry had pretended to be doing, he attempted to do it on his own first. So she rushed over and he allowed her free access to the book.

It was shortly after she read through the first paragraph of the page that her eyes widened in terror, and Harry realized that he probably should have asked her why she avoided fiction at all costs. When a tiny creature fluttered into view, he assumed initially it was a butterfly, until it landed on Hermione's nose and began talking in a high pitched voice. "Hi hi, I'm Flitter... would you like like to see see my world with me?"

Hermione blinked a couple times as she watched the tiny woman with gossamer wings sprouting from her back, before turning her head slowly, careful to not dislodge the tiny creature. "Harry... I'm sure you had a good reason for tricking me into reading that book... But I hate you."

"No, You don't... You like like him a lot lot... I know," Flitter stated with a huge smirk, causing Hermione to glare at the diminutive creature. The staring contest between them was of epic proportions, Hermione had her patented Ron-begging-last-minute-for-her-to-do-his-homework glare going on, while the tiny fairy just smirked knowingly back at her.

Fortunately before the two could get too involved in the staring contest, Luna walked into the library and smiled happily as she held three curious little creatures with flattened noses, horns that seemed to compress on themselves, and neon pink fur covering. "Oh hello Harry, Hermione... have you met my friends the Crumpled Horn Snorkacks? This is Winken, Blinken, and Nod."

Hermione looked between Luna, Harry, the Snorkacks, and Flitter quietly for a couple minutes before she sighed heavily and shook her head slowly. "Flitter, have you seen others like myself and Harry? Other than Luna of course..."

"Yep, yep, I saw saw two red haired boys that look look like each other dance dance with the gnomes!" Flitter exclaimed with a back-flip and a giggle.

'Sounds like the twins are adjusting to this world just fine...' Hermione groaned mentally as she resisted the urge to bury her head in her hands.

Now all she had to do was just simply figure out a way to get them all back home to the Hogwarts they knew, not this castle that just happened to look very much like it, absolutely nothing challenging about that at all...


	15. Hogwarts: A Wizarding Nation Onto Itself

Hermione looked around the library that she often found herself turning to for comfort and consoling when life in Hogwarts just got to be too much for her to bear. There was a strange soothing power to the books, that she couldn't find anywhere else. Harry had joked that she should have been in Ravenclaw, and she refused to admit that she had actually argued out of that house and into Gryffindor.

Up until Halloween she hadn't been sure that wasn't a mistake on her part. But when Harry had shown up like a knight out of a fairy tale, she knew that her mistake was ever doubting in the first place. She realized the hat wouldn't have put her there at all if she hadn't shown the courage to belong and from that moment on she wanted to do anything possible to make his life better.

To that end she was working on a personal research project of her own, trying to figure out a way to prevent Snape from getting the stone, and keeping Harry safe at the same time. So far she hadn't found much, just a bunch of rules and regulations that seemed so far outdated that it was almost offensive. She couldn't believe laws about unicorns, so called dark unicorns who'd been extinct for centuries, were still in effect.

Furthermore, why would there even need to be a rule about an entire family named Lovegood, stating that if one should attend Hogwarts that the professors are to have headache potions at the ready for any and all people in attendance. It just didn't make any sense!

Pushing back from the table she sighed and began looking over the shelves in despair, trying to find some book she'd miss, a scroll she'd overlooked, even a sticky note that she hadn't perused would be nice. She couldn't find ANYTHING, the only thing she could find was some archaic law about religions in the wizarding world being completely immune to all laws that went against their own religious laws.

Really, that was just preposterous... and the thought that belief in someone made them more powerful. If she was going to use that she would have to make Harry into a deity... and the poor boy's head would explode and even worse, he'd never talk to her again.

It was nice to have a boy that cared about her, even if his best friend might be a complete and utter prat. Speaking of which, she would have to fix that situation. Really, she could understand clinging to the first friend you'd ever made, but with Ron it was like clinging to barbed wire to stop a five foot fall. You really did have to weigh the damage the two would do. And weighed in... she thought Harry would be better off without the redhead but she wouldn't make that choice for him.

Sighing, Hermione decided to check the DADA section for something, maybe there would be some old Defense law that would aid her. Wouldn't be the first time the backwards library organization would put something like that in the DADA section rather than the Common Law area.

Finding an ancient, tattered and worn tome reading Defense Charter, she felt that it was at least a place to start, and pulled it off the shelf and began flipping through it while she walked back to the table that was currently buried in books and notes. It was rather interesting, dating back to the time of the founders and written by Rowena Ravenclaw herself, it was filled with loads of new information, wards that would be added over time, and towards the end a rather strange rule.

_"Let it be that during times of insurgency, war, or if a sufficient danger threatens a large portion of the student body, that the Headmaster should declare the school a sovereign nation onto itself and he shall reign as king. To this end, the teacher of the Combat Arts shall take upon himself the mantel of Master-of-Arms, and raise the wards to protect the school. Should the Combat Arms instructor be deemed unfit for the duties, the castle shall select the most magically powerful individual, aside from the current headmaster, to serve as the Master-of-Arms. They will then be released from any restrictions on their magic, granted full powers, authority, and access to the Combat Arms library found in the West Tower._

_So say Godric Gryffindor, Current Master-of-Arms. So say Rowena Ravenclaw, Current Legal Counsel for Hogwarts. So Say Salazar Slytherin, Current Headmaster. So Say Helga Hufflepuff, Current Head-Healer. So it is writ, so mote it be."_

Hermione blinked slowly as she realized what this could possibly mean. If she could get Professor Dumbledore to declare a state of emergency like they described, Harry could be even more protected from harm by the school than he already was. The difficult part would be getting him to declare said emergency legally.

"Ah, Miss Granger... I've been looking for you..." an aged voice spoke up from across the table from her. Looking up, she found herself face-to-face with the current serving Headmaster, the very man she has to convince it is necessary to declare this emergency. "It has come to my attention that you have been looking up the laws of Hogwarts, and I was hoping that I could offer assistance."

Hermione blinked owlishly at him for a moment, wondering if some greater force had been listening. If so, she would like to have Harry wearing a suit of magic proof armor, and a pony please... No? Damn.

Dumbledore took one of the books off the stack and began reading through it casually. "Hmm... it has been a long time since I've seen these laws... Oh, it would seem that we should re-establish those equestrian classes..." the grandfatherly headmaster mused as his finger traced the words of a law in the book.

"Actually headmaster, I was wondering... If you thought this one should be enacted," Hermione declared as she pointed at the law about Master-of-Arms on the page. With any luck there wouldn't be a discussion about why precisely she thought it was needed.

"Let's see... Combat Arms? Hmm... oh yes, that was the old name of the Defence Against Dark Arts..." Dumbledore mused while reading through the law casually, and doing something that Hermione hadn't thought of. Flipping the page there was some more, one in particular that caught the Headmaster's attention. "I see... Miss Granger, 50 points to Gryffindor, and I may just put you in for an award for Service to the School."

"Sir? I... I couldn't... I just..." Hermione started with a heavy blush forming on her cheeks. "That is..."

"Nonsense Ms. Granger, you have done the school a great service by finding this charter..." Dumbledore insisted as he tucked the book under his arm. "I dare say that it is not valid now, but perhaps in the future it would be advisable to keep the options open..."

Hermione blushed as she looked down and fidgeted. It would seem that protecting the stone, and Harry didn't quite count, but she wasn't about to bring it up to the Headmaster, especially not when they had no reason to know about the stone other than Hagrid's apparent inability to keep school secrets. She didn't want Hagrid to lose his job after all.

Seeming very pleased to have found such a valuable book, the Headmaster strode out of the library, only pausing to show Ms. Pince the book he was taking, the last time someone had taken a book without asking they ended up begging to be taken to a dementor when Pince got through with them. Hermione sighed as she began straightening up, knowing that it was going on time for curfew, when a book she'd missed in her earlier readings caught her attention. "Famous Wizards and Witches? Maybe Harry's in it..."

Flipping it open, she ended up on a bookmarked page for Nicholas Flamel, and a thick cloud of dust swarmed away from her making her cough slightly, used to such dust clouds. Settling in, she began to read about the man that created the Philosopher's Stone, but that is for another story.

* * *

**1 Year Later - November 1st**

Hermione watched nervously as the Headmaster seemed to be in deep discussion with the other teachers about something. It was breakfast after the strange message in blood on the walls, and Mrs. Norris' petrification. Apparently not a single one of the teachers had slept well last night, as all of them were highly aggravated, with massive bags under their eyes. Not that she could blame any of them, as none of the students seemed particularly well rested either.

There was an arguement going on at the staff-table. It was enough to distract Hermione from her breakfast and in turn, Harry's lack of eating. Neither of them knew what the argument was about as they both thought the message business was over and done with, save the lack of a suspect. As if to help remedy her curiosity Dumbledore seemed to shake his head and Hermione could read his lips as he slowly stated, 'I am decided, it is Final.'

Strangely it seemed that Professors Flitwick and McGonagal were the strongest, and only, supporters against all of the other staff the school had. Finally Dumbledore stood, silencing the entire hall with that one motion. "I have decided, that with the threat against all muggleborn students as it is written on the wall outside the 2nd Floor Girl's Bathroom that a rather old and archaic rule should be put into enacted. It is as follows," he proclaimed and then proceeded to recite the old law that Hermione found in the dusty, old Defense Charter book a year ago.

Hermione gulped, both relieved and distressed, when she heard the beginning words, knowing exactly what was coming, but her reaction was drowned out by the reactions of everyone else. Everyone missed the reaction, save one pair of emerald green eyes that had looked to her for advice and guidance.

"I the current Headmaster of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry do declare a state of emergency, until such time as the safety of the students has been assured!" Dumbledore declared in his booming voice over the murmurs and discussions occurring throughout the hall.

A moment later, a violent shake caused everyone to silence themselves. After the shaking ceased, a louder feminine voice answered back, "**Hogwarts hereby accepts the declaration of Emergency, however the Master-of-Arms is unfit for duty. I shall select another.**"

And with that, a bright white light began passing from person to person, causing a stunned look on the faces of those being measured after engulfing them in the blinding brilliance. Hermione wasn't sure what was going on, until the light shined over her and the voice in a quieter tone spoke to her, "_You are wise beyond your years young child, though you lack in power, I believe the Master-of-Arms shall need you._"

And with that, the light was beyond her, and onto Ron. Blinking slowly she wondered if anyone had been spoken to by the castle itself. As the light finished its pass of students, it moved onto the staff table, skipping the Headmaster as he was ineligible by the laws themselves. Once the light had faded, the castled seemed to hum with more energy than ever before.

After a couple minutes of the humming the light returned, bathing the entire hall in its brilliant glow, before slowly narrowing until it highlighted only one student. Hermione's eyes widened as tears stung her eyes when she found Harry's emerald green ones staring back at her in surprise. The booming voice proclaimed, "**Hogwarts has judged all in the castle and I have decided that the new Master-of-Arms shall be You, Harry James Potter. Carry out your duty well.**" before a sword appeared on his hip, and a suit of what appeared to be black leather armor embossed with the Hogwarts seal replaced his school robes. Next a third light shone on Harry and his face became the perfect picture of agony for 10 seconds before it became the picture of bliss. "**Blocks were found on your magic young Master-of-Arms. They have been released as well as all memory tamperings or geis on you.**"

The light passed of off Harry, and seemed to drift over to Hermione, before engulfing her and replacing her robes in a similar suit of armor to Harry's, only this one was red with gold trim. "**Hermione Jean Granger, your intellect and magical prowess has earned you the right to be a deputy. May you be the voice of reason in a house of recklessness**."

Hermione was beginning to blush and look at the armor, when a mace appeared in her hands, and the knowledge of its use flooded into her brain. Before she could make a comment or anything, the light rushed off of her and went over to the Hufflepuff table, where Susan Bones was illuminated. Shortly afterwards, the light turned her robes into a yellow and black suit of leather armor, "**Susan Andromeda Bones, loyal and passionate about justice. You have been chosen to be a deputy. May all benefit from your fair mind.**"

Apparently Susan also was going to ask about the spear that suddenly strapped itself to her back, but then the light was off of her, and over at the Ravenclaw table, a blonde girl wearing a butterbeer cork necklace was illuminated and clad in blue and bronze armor."**Luna Lobellia Lovegood, by your patience, inteligence, and open mind, you have been chosen as a deputy. May all fear having wronged you.**"

After that, the light granted her a staff with a wicked looking blade at one end, and a weight at the other. Many of the Ravenclaws girls in her year gulped nervously and seemed to be wanting to make out a will or something. Drifting over the light seemed to get lost at the Slytherin table, as though it couldn't make up its mind whom to go to next.

After a moment, it slipped over onto the second year Daphne Greengrass, garbing her in Silver and Green armor, while an axe settled itself on her hip. "**Daphne Merope Greengrass, for your compassion, cunning, and drive to see righteousness be brought forth, you are a deputy. May the serpents return to the light.**"

The reaction from Slytherin was anything but approving of Daphne, and the girl seemed to finger her axe more out of nervousness than in any sort of threat. As the light disappeared, Hogwarts once again addressed the castle as a whole. "**These five are the Master-of-Arms and his deputies, their word is law answerable only to King Dumbledore the Lemon Dropper... Who shall change that name! So it is ordained, so mote it be!**" the castle finished before a large tome entitled, '_Duties and Regulations of the Master-of-Arms, Volume 1_' appeared out of nowhere and settled itself gently next to Harry's toast.

Ron... who would most likely be seething in jealousy over this new position of Harry's took one look at the tome and decided that it was not something he wanted to be burdened with. Maybe he could get a position as a squad leader or something. The castle had told him that he was a good strategist, and that it would serve him well in the future to hone that skill.

Really, he just didn't want to have to read that four inch thick book.

Of the entire school, there was only one possible reaction that could sum up what had just happened, and Professor McGonnagal supplied it surprisingly enough. "What... the... **_FUCK?_**"

Later that day, the Headmaster led Harry and his deputies the way to the West Tower, stopping in front of a rather curious portrait of a knight in shining armor kneeling before a lady on a white horse. The curious part was that it was not a magical painting, like nearly every single other painting was. "Now lets see... the instructions said that it would be down this hall... stop at the painting of Sir Gawain's knighting... and..." Dumbledore muttered as he looked over a scrap of paper he'd pulled from his robes.

Before he could do anything further, a doorway appeared next to the painting, with the Hogwarts emblem emblazoned on it, while a single knob rested about hip height. "Ah yes, that is supposed to happen..."

Opening the door for his new heads of security and defense, Dumbledore was pleasantly surprised to see that the upkeep of the room hadn't suffered, and there was already a cozy fire burning in the hearth for them. Unlike the dorms for the rest of the students, this common room only had one set of stairs going off it, while three doors labeled '_library_', '_dungeons_', and '_training_' covered the wall opposite the fireplace.

"I believe that it would be wise for you five to explore the area, and see if it comes with an instruction manual aside from the one Master Potter received..." King Dumbledore the Lemon Dropper suggested as he settled in to one of the comfortable looking chairs by the fire. It really was getting to be too cold for his old bones.

Spinning the chair like all those cool evil guys in muggle movies he suddenly wished he had a cat to stroke, while looking over the students exploring their new home. Well four explorers, and Deputy Granger bolting straight towards the library door, and disappearing inside it. A moment later, the moan coming from inside it had him and Harry rushing over, while the other girls smirked knowingly.

The library that they found inside easily dwarfed the main Hogwarts library, and seemed to have a section for nearly every topic ever taught in Hogwarts, along with a few that Harry was certain were muggle-based topics. After all, he couldn't remember a single Wizard that talked about physics with any sort of knowledge.

Hermione was clutching what appeared to be the largest book in the world, letting out a pleased moan as she stroked its cover lovingly. The two males looked at each other before deciding to do the right thing and exit the way they came in.

After all, Hermione was fine. Yep, nothing wrong with her there. Absolutely NOTHING wrong with moaning in pleasure while stroking a book.

The two males got back out to the group of ladies and got only knowing smirks in reply to the unasked question of "_What the hell was that?_". After retrieving Hermione from the big-book-o-orgasmic-delight they sat down around the fire, Harry was in the evil overlord chair as it was now called and Dumbledore was sulking in one of the comfy lazy-boy recliners with the girls around harry two on each couch.

"For those of you who don't know this law, meaning everyone but Miss Granger, the school is now a sovereign nation and has strong enough wards to keep out all of Magical Britain. I am the law of the school and you 5 are essentially the enforcers. Should anyone get inside the wards and attempt to attack the school you will stop them. Should anyone attempt an attack on anyone else inside the school you will stop them. Essentially my dears, you now have the power to tell anyone what to do should it coincide with the duties listed in that book. You are now in charge of the defense of this nation," Dumbledore explained, looking several centuries older than he had upon walking into the common room. Indicating the doors behind the others he continued. "Through those doors are a wealth of knowledge enough to run a kingdom, dungeons in the classic sense, and a set of rooms to allow you to train in any field you can think will aide your duties."

Then the seriousness that had come over Dumbledores vanished as if it had never even been there a moment before as he said jovially, "Now, who wants a lemon drop?"

"No thank you sir..." Harry answered a bit unsure of how to address the newly appointed king. "Umm... sir?"

"Yes Master Potter?" the old man asked while popping a lemon drop into his mouth, they were delightful and delicious creations, and should be savored.

"What is the proper way to address you?" Harry asked, getting a few sheepish nods from the others.

"Oh... I suppose all my old titles in Magical Britain are now nullified... and as a new nation's first king that would be my right..." Dumbledore mused while sucking on his lemon flavored confection. "I believe sir will suffice for people of our nation, outsiders will call me His Regal Majesty, King Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore the Lemon Dropper, or Big Daddy D... not sure which..."

"Our nation?" Daphne asked worriedly as she looked at the emblem on her chest. "But that means..."

"I'm afraid it is rather permanent, and that in the next week all students save those chosen by Hogwarts, will have to choose between Hogwarts and Magical Britain," Dumbledore answered with a small smile. "The six of us will be living here regardless, and your families shall be invited to join you here as well as those families who have students who remain here."

"Sir... the castle is nice and all, but..." Hermione started before trailing off a little uncertain about correcting her king like this. "Will there be room for everyone?"

"We have the entire Hogsmeade Valley as our territory, and I believe that shall suffice for the time being," the king stated while leaning back in the recliner and putting his feet up. Oh this was simply marvelous, he must get one for his office as soon as possible. "That, and the fact that there are hundreds of unused individual rooms and suites in this castle. Each can be expanded and made to be suitable for human living."

"Sir, won't Magical Britain try to recover the school and lands surrounding it?" Daphne asked, her mind trying to figure out how she was going to tell her parents that she was now the deputy of the head of security for an entire nation without even being out of school. It seemed her dreams of being the top singer of the wizarding world were going to be on the back burner now.

Dumbledore sighed heavily as he stared up at the ceiling with a pensive frown. "Yes they will, but we have a treaty dating back to the time of the Founders to allow this to happen. If they violate it, there will be war... I would prefer to do this diplomatically however."

Any other questions were cut off as an entire armada of birds flew in through an open window, and began delivering scrolls, letters, and other such mail. From what the rest could see as they dug out their entombed king was that the letters were from all over the magical world. America, Germany, Bulgaria, France, even a letter from somewhere in Africa called Zimbabwe.

Meanwhile, the teachers were having a discussion. "I can't believe that you thought this was a good idea!" Snape snapped at Minerva and Filius who simply sipped cups of tea.

"Well if you think it's such a bad one you can go ahead and leave within the next week, no one's asking you to stay," Minerva offered as she offered a biscuit to Poppy and Sinistra who seemed to have joined the Hogwarts-is-better-off-as-a-sovereign-nation side. Along with Hagrid, Madams Hooch, Pomfrey, and Pince.

Of the staff, the only real hold outs were Snape and Filch who, lets face it, hated pretty much everything about the place BEFORE it became a sovereign nation, save their own little pet projects. Only one of the men had a reason to remain, least he break his cover, loath though he was to admit it.

International incidents were such a bother though, so he would really rather avoid them. Of course, that was assuming Dumbledore wasn't already planning on kicking him out to prevent a security risk, but that wouldn't happen... would it?

"My precious and I will be happy to be out of here and away from those filthy kids..." Filch stated while staring longingly into a picture of said cat. His fingers were tenderly tracing the outline of the feline, as one might expect for a lover to do while missing the other.

The rest of the teachers carefully edged away from the creepy man, frankly Filch's flamingly freaky fetish for female felines freaked fellow faculty out, especially Filius Flitwick's favorite friend and feline animagus. Minerva was really considering suing for Mrs. Norris' nationalization before Filch could abscond her away while still petrified, little did she know that she wasn't the only one.

"I for one think that we could do wonderful things," the Muggle studies professor offered while playing with a magically adapted Gameboy, some game that had Professor Vector curious. She kept pondering the fact that it was a mathematics based game involving pieces which only had four squares each.

"Why's that?" Aurora asked, trying to not make it too obvious that she was trying to sneak a peek at the game being played. It wasn't as if she was curious about the game and wanted to play, nope. She was a proper pureblood witch after all, and wouldn't be interested in a muggle device like that, especially not with that ridiculously addicting music coming from it.

"How many do you suspect we'll lose?" Poppy asked as she tucked another biscuit away, they were really delightful. "Most of my puffs didn't seem too sure, but I think they'll hold true..."

"My Ravens seem for the most part intrigued about the prospect of being in on the ground floor of an entire new nation. I dare say this is a learning experience that no one else could ever hope to expect," Filius added while wiping a spot of tea off his mustache. Really those things were so hard to keep clean, he didn't know why he bothered. Oh right, his mother thought it made him look more distinguished, and he did stop getting picked up as a minor late at night.

"My lovely and loyal Lions looked a little lackluster, but I suspect that many of them shall find the courage to brave the unknown future that they have awaiting them," Minerva added, getting a groan from several of the other teachers as galleons were exchanged. Minerva had just beaten the year's current high total of alliteration. The feline animagus smirked as she pulled in the coins happily, she knew that most of her other professors would be up all night trying to best her.

"I suspect many of the serpents," Snape started before getting drowned out in a sea of coughs that sounded like poorly covered 'snakes' but he chose to ignore it, "are going to be leaving, Draco had a whole little bitch-fit when he realized his daddy couldn't help him out at school anymore. And then again when he realized that he couldn't wear a suit of armor, nor a weapon unless Potter authorized it."

Snape would never admit it, but that would be a memory that could power a few dozen patronus charms before he grew tired of it. He had never really liked good old Lucius and now he might not have to deal with his whiny little poofter of a son anymore.

"And you will be joining them, won't you Severus?" Filch asked having finished fondling feline photography for fetish facsimile for the time being.

Snape shrugged, "Not unless Dumbledore asks me to which I doubt he will."

Meanwhile up in the Gryffindor common room, another discussion was going on. "Well Percy, George, Ron, Ginny... it would seem we have a difficult decision to make... Do we remain loyal to Hogwarts, and face down mom and dad? Or do we return to Britain with our tails between our legs?"

"I don't have a tail," Ginny stated, her wand twitching which caused all the boys to cross their legs carefully. "So I will be staying here."

"I'm going to stay also, I might have a shot at being the official ambassador to Magical Britain, unlike my prospects if I return to Magical Britain, and... well umm... my friend will be remaining here, and I should support her..." Percy finished with a somewhat mumbled polish.

"Well we're, not leaving, haven't had this much fun, since we transfigured, Ronnikens toy bear into a spider," The twins stated, tag-team talking. The mention of said transfiguration, and subsequent terror causing the youngest male to turn ghastly white in a heartbeat. A feat made worse when he realized that if he would go home alone, he would never hear the end of it.

"I'm staying, gotta support Harry," Ron answered automatically. No he didn't fear his mother at all, not a bit, especially after that wonderful little missive she sent him after he borrowed his father's car to get to Hogwarts. Absolutely nothing to be terrified at all.

It's not like she had threatened to lock him in his room until he graduated Hogwarts with nothing but spiders to talk to. She wasn't that overbearing, or mean, nope, not in the least.

He was just going to change his name when he became a legal citizen of Hogwarts, and maybe look into getting some transfiguration done on his face so that she couldn't find him.

Nothing drastic.

Up in the girls dormitory Parvati Patil was meditating on her bed, or so it would appear. In actuality if one were to look in on Padma Patil, they would note that she was in a similar state of 'meditation'. What was really happening was that they were using a little known aspect of being magical twins that the Weasley's used on a subconscious basis, the lucky bastards. Oddly, the reason the Patils couldn't do that was they were Indian and Indian twins were the same person. Same soul anyways, they were literally two halves of the same coin. Padma was the constantly studious person who loved knowledge and logic. Parvati was the more emotional one. You really didn't want to see what happened when there were more than two children born at the same time people got crazy...

'_We must ensure our good status with the new regime sister mine,_' Padma stated in their shared mindscape.

'_I know this very well sister. How do you propose we ensure our status? Get into Harry Potter's harem?_' Parvarti asked nervously while settled in next to her sister's essence.

'_That would not be an unfavorable option, however I suspect he has not formed the harem bond with the Deputies yet. We could get in second to only Deputy Granger._' Padma corrected with a bored logical tone of mental voice. '_Perhaps it should be a secondary option, we could opt for citizenship here, and 'forget' to inform our parents until the experation date has passed, thus they would be unable to marry us in to that toad's concubine collection._'

'_I much prefer being part of the harem, just getting away from mother and father's schemes for our marriages isn't good enough and I know you want more than that._' Parvati replied with her very passionate and emotional style of arguing.

'_Quite astute sister mine, but we should remain focused on our primary mission objectives. Securing our freedom, and then pursuit of pleasurable aspects,_' Padma stated calmly while stroking her ethereal chin in thought. '_I propose that the best solution is to circumvent Harry, and work our way in with the girls._'

'_This time I agree. Harry's the type to not even realize he's in the position to develop a harem and I have no doubt that Hermione would take him for herself if she could. We can't let that happen, we'll have to plant it in her head that a harem should occur,_' Parvarti was starting to sound more than a little bit desperate to get her way in this argument.

'_I believe that she may be a powerful ally if we could get her on our side,_' Padma suggested as she digested her emotional side's thoughts and plans. '_Perhaps if we were to..._'

Mentally pausing for a moment Parvati considered the unsaid plan and nodded, it was a good and solid plan that could lead to a lot of fun, hot, fun, naughty, fun, hourly, fun, playtime with Harry and his 'deputies'. Now if only she could figure out where to get a dragon-mail bikini...

Padma sighed as she looked at her sister forlornly, Parvarti was getting to have the fun of being the emotional one now, but she knew that when it was her turn next week she would be savoring every last moment of it. As for now, she decided it was time to end this discussion and set the plans in motion. After a little 'stress relief', after all, how could she get anything done if her mind kept focusing on the stress?

And thus, not even a day into the new country's reign, there was an assassination attempt, a financial transaction, a plea for sanctuary, and a conspiracy. All in all, much more impressive than the colonies ever managed.

* * *

Several weeks later the diplomats began arriving from America, France, Germany, and other countries of the ICW. The french contingent was a family known as the Delacours who had two daughters who were to be students at Hogwarts for the rest of her education before she became the official ambassador.


	16. The Chase

It had been five years since he'd left Hogwarts behind, and Harry had thought himself safe from **_her_**. He'd ran from her for each of these five years, and thought he'd given her the slip several times over that half-decade but he'd been wrong. Dead wrong.

Every time he stayed in an area too long, she'd show up in a few weeks and force him to run again. It was even worse than the Aurors and the rest of the Wizarding World combined, as she had enough logic and knew him well enough to figure out his next stop. First had been the stay over in Australia, which ended when she came at him a week after he got there with a boomerang and a wicked gleam in her eye.

Then there was the stay in the lodge in California, and a month of skiing, snowboarding and some amazing hot chocolate. That was quite the learning experience, especially when the snow bunnies got trapped in the cabin with him during the minor avalanche. He couldn't remember much of that week, but when the rescuers came, he had a bad case of dehydration and several friction burns over his body.

Fortunately he'd managed to secure some rare magical tomes to distract her when she cornered him in the hospital. When she had finally put the books down, he was long gone and somewhere in Canada.

He'd finally developed a liking for Poutine when she arrived in the town he'd hidden away in. He'd literally given her the slip on a patch of ice that sent her sliding down the hill. After that there were more than a few close calls in the Americas, more than a few nations now sported legends of a girl that would storm through hell's fire after a young man that had slighted her in some way. There was actually a poster of him fleeing her once again with the words "Hell hath no fury" under it.

He would agree if he could figure out what the bloody hell he'd done wrong! He killed Voldemort, decided to leave England behind, sent out his farewell letters, and left.

He just wanted a little while as just Harry Potter, not the boy-who-lived-to-save-them-all-from- themselves. Of course... after word of his escapades with the snow bunnies had gotten out he became The-Man-Who-Can-Screw-Aphrodite-Into-Submission. That still shouldn't have drawn Hermione into chasing him down, her one letter was asking if he was coming back to finish his schooling, and he'd sent back a negative reply. A couple days later, he found Hermione storming through Australia's beaches at him.

It had been five years of this cat and mouse game, five BLOODY YEARS! Honestly, even if it was about his education he was way too old now!

Why couldn't she just leave him alone for a little while? Why did she constantly threaten to drag him back by his earlobe? How the hell did she keep finding him?

Sipping his beer slowly, he eyed the door to the bar he'd holed up in on this rain soaked night. If she was going to follow true to form, she would be storming in through those doors, and rage at him like a woman possessed. Any moment now, with her hair plastered to her shoulders due to the rain, steaming from the sheer amount of rage-fueled heat that she would generate, and her eyes burning with a simmering anger that told every man on the planet not to cross her.

She was kind of cute when angry in a way, not that he'd want to face it on a daily basis, but that had been part of why he'd kept up this little game. It was somewhat fun to watch her scream obscenities at him from afar, especially after the first time. When she let out that four letter cussword, he'd been shocked enough that he'd nearly driven his Firebolt into a tree. He doubted that even her own parents knew she could scream such obscenities at that high a volume, in public, while sliding down an ice hill, in a foreign country.

That made him wish to pick up one of those portable pensieves just so he could rewatch those few minutes repeatedly. But he'd probably get so distracted watching those moments that she'd capture him with ease and drag him back to the hellhole of England.

Downing his beer, Harry sighed heavily and leaned back into his chair, knowing that any minute now Hermione would be storming in, demanding that he return to England with her.

"Another beer there?" the bartender asked with a pleasant smile on her face. Harry looked at the empty bottle in his hand for a moment before sighing heavily and shaking his head.

After a few seconds he shook his head and reached for his wallet. "No, I should be moving along. She'll be arriving soon, and I can't be too far gone when that happens..."

"She? You wouldn't be the guy from those Hell hath no fury posters would you?" the bartender asked curiously as she leaned against the bar. "I've heard that you've traveled the world over trying to escape her."

"Not her... at least not at first. First it was just a bad situation in England... now it's more the chase that keeps us going, ya know?" Harry answered as he finally liberated his wallet from the back of his pants. Maybe that last beer was one too many already, his vision was starting to blur a bit.

"Oh? Why is she chasing you?" the woman asked, brushing her brown hair back behind her ears, and taking the money from Harry. The black-haired boy blinked with a little confusion as he could have sworn she was blond when he started drinking. Maybe they had a shift change and he just didn't notice it.

Shrugging it off, he figured it was about time to head for his hotel and get packed. He could leave in the morning, but for right now he would just get a good night's rest and sleep the beer off. Yeah, that sounded good.

Pushing himself up off his stool, he shook his head to clear the wave of dizziness washing over him. Maybe he should have had that extra basket of bread at dinner. "I dun... dunno, she jusht... jusht chashesh me..." was about as far as he got before he passed out.

The bartender smiled as her features reverted back to normal, having feared her polyjuice potion would wear off before the knock out pills she'd dissolved in his beer took effect. Thankfully he only came in when the the crowds were thinnest, so now there was no witnesses to her dragging him into the backroom save the security cameras, which she'd disabled already.

Now she would get him back to England, and he would get a proper education. Really, what was he thinking not finishing out his years at Hogwarts? So it's true that he only had 7th year left and it would be hell for him there after killing Voldemort. And that he'd learned far more practical spells out here, than he'd ever learn from the school.

It was for the best, a proper education would be good for him. He could test out with her when they get back, and then return to his world travels. Only problem was, looking back at Harry when she got done justifying her kidnapping. He wasn't there, it was some poor sap with blond hair.

Searching the blond's clothes she found a note with her name on it. Opening it up, she let out a snarl of frustration as she realized that Harry had played her.

_Dear Hermione,_

_I win again._

_Love,_  
_Harry_

_P.S. Hope you enjoyed his acting._

That. Cheeky. Bastard.

A few bars away, a young man smirked as he sipped his can of pop that he'd had the bartender carry over in plain view. There was such a beautiful tone to Hermione's screamed obscenities and such a colorful and imaginative description of what she would perform to him when she got her hands on his neck. Though he might want to give her an anatomy text next time, it sounded like she was forgetting a few physical limitations to the human body.

After all, he was fairly certain that the Sword of Gryffindor couldn't fit up that particular orifice.

Finishing up his drink, Harry quickly picked up his bag and left the bar heading into the nearest alleyway. There, with a spin and a grin Harry apparated away yet again to Hermione's rage filled screams.


	17. Listening in on the Familiars

Hedwig: And that's when he pulls out this little skin-wand and starts rubbing it into master's bed, while moaning out his name! That red headed weasel even shot white goo out of his skin-wand.

Errol: The littlest male weasel did that?

Hedwig: No, the oldest one... the littlest one rolls around on piles of money and pictures of something called Chubby Cannons...

Errol: I never thought the dragon-lover would do that.

Hedwig: Dragon-lover? That poofter? We are talking about the ponce that was made Prefect, right?

Errol: Ah, the rule-lover

Hedwig: Is that what he was doing to the book of rules? It looked like he was...

Trevor: At least your master doesn't strangle himself with vines while they rape him...

Hedwig: Nah, he gets blown by pretty much every milf in hogwarts.

Trevor: And a few of the students... those brainy ones in Ravenclaw are really freaky...

Hedwig: I wonder when they'll realize i'm an animagus who sells the memories on the market.

Trevor: About the same time they realize all of us more intelligent ones are animagus...

Hedwig: That rules you out Trev.

Trevor: Very funny Hedwig Brunhilda Mathilda Merlina Pollyanna Sandragorn

Hedwig: At least my master gave me my real name. We actually got the familiar bond.

Trevor: I'm so going to lay eggs in his shoes one of these days... But you know that dark haired wanna-be bat?

Hedwig: The Snype?

Trevor: Well... just don't deliver anything to him... he does things to birds... and deers... and a snake... things with the skin-wand...

Hedwig: No worries. My master hates him.

Trevor: You know that blond one that your master hates? Snype does things to him too...

Hedwig: Should we try to... umm... stop that?

Trevor: We should... but the blond does cry so beautifully... and he's tried to kill all of us how many times?

Hedwig: Can't we get them both in trouble then?

Trevor: How?

Hewig: Let's get Fawkes involved.

Trevor: That freak? The retard was down there several times... he LIKES it!

Hedwig: He's just amused by watching the blond one cry.

Trevor: And when blond isn't there?

Hedwig: That I don't know about.

Trevor: Let us get the Great Owl in on it... he'd know what to do...

Hedwig: That he will... TO THE GREAT OWL!

Trevor: *gets picked up by Hedwig*

Hedwig: *flies to remote part of hogwarts*

Great Owl: Greetings...

Both: Greetings Oh Great Owl. We need you to tell us what to do.

Great Owl: Sell your memories of Snype and the Golden Dragon to the Head of Child Welfare for... an owl treat and a fly each

Both: Yes Great Owl.

Great Owl: Oh... and do stop petting the pussy over your master Hedwig... he's young and male... just make him think it a dream.

Hedwig: If I do it once I'm making damn sure I'll be able to do it many many more times. No dream.

Great Owl: Now... go... my show is on...

Hedwig: Yes sir. *grabs Trevor and leaves*

Great Owl: *peeks into the Seventh Year Ravenclaw showers* Oh... it's pass the Potter night again... my lucky day...

Trevor: I feel like we're missing something here...

Hedwig: Nah, his show is the ravenclaw showers on the nights that harry goes in.

Trevor: Then he misses the Gryffindor and Hufflepuff night? I mean the Gryffs are always up to new things... and the Puffs are all about teamwork

Hedwigs: Nah, I have to give him those memories because he can't get his own bug into there. The puffs teamwork for checking is too thorough and gryffs have Hermione.

Trevor: I see... I wonder why Hermione doesn't stay with the seventh year girls?

Hedwig: She doesn't like to share.

Trevor: But I saw her... The Lovegood, and a few other girls 'sharing' Harry

Hedwig: Luna tricked her into that. Girl is devious.

Trevor: Multiple times

Hedwig: Like I said. Girl is devious. She's managed to hook Hermione into a harem but they only meet once per week till school is out. Hermione gets all the alonetime she can manage until then.

Trevor: She doesn't take much of it... in fact when they're alone she's sitting on his lap reading...

Hedwig: She's got it in her head she wants to be his catgirl familiar. Should that happen I'll be happy to show myself as an animagus.

Trevor: You know... you could give her some... dreams to help her along...

Hedwig: Or I can transform in front of her and just tell her... The only reason she doesn't just do it is she thinks he can only have one familiar.

Trevor: Leave her a book then to correct that

Hedwig: Can you think of one?

Trevor: Familiars, and Wizards by Lovelong

Hedwig:... Sure it wasn't Lovegood or Shagwell? They both seem the type of families to write that book.

Trevor: No it was Lovelong, you know before those two families split off.

Hedwig: Ahh yes.. Only that family would write about a wizard who turned his familiar into a half human so he could screw her.

Trevor: And that he had a small harem with familiars alone.

Hedwig: That too.

Trevor: And that one or two were humans first...

Hedwig: Really Trevor. It's like you wish you were the human.

Trevor: You're kidding right? They don't eat flies.


	18. Of Drinking and Thinking

Harry was drunk. He knew he was drunk. No one could not be drunk after finishing off three full bottles of fire-whiskey. He couldn't even remember the reason he started drinking in the first place, but it had to do something with his two best friends. They just started dating or something, and he felt like getting drunk tonight. Luna had met him on the way to the Room of Requirement, and she suggested that she be his sober friend or something.

After the first bottle it had all seemed to blurred together.

Why was he getting drunk again? Something about their dating just irked him, and he couldn't even think of a reason why. There was just something about the entire thing that just made him seethe with rage... made him want to growl and roar at the world. Maybe it was just the Gryffindor in him, maybe it was just something to get drunk over.

Yes, booze, good answer. Picking up the fourth bottle, he began drinking from the mouth of the bottle, watching Luna busy herself with something that looked like a cross between a frog, a kneezle, and a rhino.

Maybe that was the crumpled-horn snorkack that she always talked about. And he was far too sober if he was having coherent thoughts again. A long pull from the bottle later, he realized that he just wasn't getting any drunker.

In fact, if he were to take a sobriety test, he was pretty sure he'd pass with flying colors. There were no signs of being drunk present. No blurred vision, slurred speech, diminished or enhanced emotional reactions, or even a mild buzzed feeling at the back of his brain. Nothing. Not a damn thing.

This sucked. Putting down the firewhiskey, he picked up another bottle, this one labeled with Jolteon Cola, and began chugging away at the two liters. Maybe he could get a sugar buzz going, and things would get better that way. Three bottles of the soda-pop later and he realized two things. One, he wasn't even mildly hyper, and two, he needed a bathroom.

Getting off his bar stool, he wandered over to the hallway marked with the universal restrooms symbol. Finding the men's room was just as easy, and ten minutes later he returned to the bar and considered the bottles he'd been drinking. Could the room not recreate them accurately? Or was there something else going on right now?

"Did you know that the goolie-wonks are hovering over you now?" Luna asked curiously as she settled in next to him. "A sure sign of unrequited love..."

"Unrequited love?" Harry asked with a bemused smirk as he pulled up what was basically cherry soda flavored water. Pouring Luna and himself a glass, he snorted as he stared into it. "I should be happy for my friends. I shouldn't be here drinking my bladder into drowning itself. So why is it I want to do just that?"

"That's the goolie-wonks at work, they thrive on liquids that are unhealthy for you," Luna explained while sipping her water.

Harry sipped his water silently in thought, enjoying the carbonation as it bubbled in his throat. "And how do I get rid of them? Let your pet Snorkack there eat them?"

"You must admit to your love," Luna stated quietly as she turned away from him. "You have to tell the person that you love, just how much you care for them."

Harry stared at the blond girl quietly for a few minutes, she had always been a weird friend, but honest to a fault. In her own way. If she said that the goolie-wonks were infesting him because of feelings for someone, she probably saw something that he was completely missing. Closing his eyes, he let his thoughts drift to his friends, wondering what about it had caused him to feel so left out and alone.

"You have them too, don't you Luna?" Harry asked suddenly, realizing that her voice had been one of experience. "Or you had them."

"I did, but the person I love... they are gone. I cannot get them back," Luna admitted while silent tears rolled down her cheeks. This caused Harry to feel like an utter heel, and hug her gently around the shoulders. He'd never seen her this upset, not even when talking about her mother dying in front of her eyes.

"I'm sorry, I... I shouldn't have brought it up..." Harry offered lamely, kicking himself mentally for it even as it left his lips. "We can talk about something else if you'd like..."

He'd expected a few things, a refusal, an agreement, a mention of some oddball creature that perhaps only she saw, but what he couldn't have expected was her turning into his hug and crying into his chest, clinging to him like he was a rock in a stormy sea. After a moments hesitation he slowly put a hand to the back of her head and began stroking it while making soothing noises. He wasn't about to stop her if she needed to a cry, and him being there just meant he was able to give her something he'd wanted when he was younger.

Someone to care as they cried their eyes out.

As Luna settled down from her crying jag, he noticed that she'd also worn herself out. The way he found this out was that she was currently sleeping in his arms. Using the room to summon up a bed, he laid her out on it, taking care to cover her up, before wiping away the tears and snot on her face with his robes. It wasn't much but he hoped she would at least be comfortable.

Taking up a spot next to the bed, he watched her hand creeping for something in her sleep. Placing his hand in her path, he marveled at how she linked her fingers through his and held it tight. So engrossed in the simple act of tenderness that he'd been able to give this friend of his was he that he nearly missed what she'd said in her sleep. After all, it had only been one word, three syllables, but it was one that he'd have known anywhere.

How could one word make an entire situation seem like a puzzle with its final pieces falling into place? It wasn't even more than seven letters long, but it added so much to the enigma that was Luna Lovegood, while at the same time making her seem more understandable. Leaning up onto the bed, he kissed the back of her hand and whispered softly.

"I won't tell anyone your secret," Harry spoke softly into the back of her hand, knowing that she'd probably never hear this with as sound asleep as she was. "That is something for you to reveal on your own, I just hope you can trust me with it when you're awake."

Settling back into his vigil position, he noticed how her soft dreamy expression hadn't returned while she slept, nor was it the grief and pain stricken look of earlier. This was a sleeping Luna, peaceful, content, safe.

It reminded him so much of how cute Hermione was when she slept, when she wasn't enraged over something Ron did. She didn't have to worry about being the best or the brightest in her sleep, she could just relax and sleep peacefully.

Closing his eyes, he allowed himself to watch the brilliant witch with his mind's eye as she slept peacefully in front of the fireplace of the Gryffindor common room. It was during first year, when he was having trouble sleeping due to be suddenly packed in with a gaggle of noisy, messy boys after being forced to be silent and neat all his life. He just couldn't get comfortable, and thought he'd read down in the common room.

What he'd found was Hermione curled up on one of the sofas a week after school had started. She looked so peaceful and content, he couldn't possibly wake her up without feeling horrendous pangs of guilt. Instead he grabbed one of the throw blankets off the other couches and covered her up so she wouldn't catch a cold and went back up to his room to lay awake all night.

To this day he'd never mentioned it to her, and he wasn't even sure why he'd done it. They weren't friends, and to be honest he'd always thought she was a little pushy then. Yet... yet he still covered her up, and made sure she was comfortable before going back to the nightmare that was his roommates.

_Why?_ a tiny, curious voice asked him as his mind paused the memory.

Why did he feel the need to do all that for her? It wasn't like they'd been friends then, not like later that year. So why was it that he went out of his way to help her? Why hadn't he brought it up over the years? Why was it still so firmly lodged into his mind?


	19. Sorting Issues

It had been a long and arduous year at Hogwarts, with a group of First Years not only proving the incompetence of the teaching staff's trap building skills, but also one of them facing the very spectre of He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named that had possessed their dearly departed Quirrell. But all that aside, they still had to sort the students reaching the end of their first year. The former method of using the Sorting Hat had been postponed for the year due to an outbreak of magical resistant head lice it had gotten off the previous year's sorting, thankfully it had been the last student and they had gotten in quarantined before an outbreak could occur.

A quick search of their school charter discovered a secondary method for sorting the students, that while taking a year should help them truly understand the very essence of the students. The extra work of observing the students, and writing down their pros and cons served as a welcome break. And while there was no chance to award them house points, some of the reward methods were proving far more effective. Who knew that an extra dessert on Saturday would get some kids acting like little angels, while the threat of having to clean up after Hagrid's mini-menagerie of beasts as punishment seemed to keep most of them out of trouble.

But that was the year previous, and now it was time to sort the students. And while there had been some bandying about trading houses for certain students, the firm rule was that only the first years were to be sorted today. They had gotten through most of them with little difficulty, and most attempted to be fair and impartial judges. Those that couldn't be judged in such a manner were saved for last.

"The next student on the docket is Ernie Macmillan, a very loyal friend to have, however he showed great courage standing up to that fifth-year bully. I would recommend that he be placed in Gryffindor or Hufflepuff," Albus offered formally as he lowered the scroll containing the student's information from the year. "Looking through his year, he follows the rules, used his friends to get a teacher, and refused to swing at the other student even when provoked. Pomona, I believe he would be a good student for your house, but be sure to encourage him to keep his friendship with those of other houses. They will serve him well in the future, and I can only see good prospects ahead of him."

The murmur of agreement signalled just how tired they all were of the seemingly endless discussion over students. However, Dumbledore smiled warmly with a twinkle in his eyes. "Very well, that leaves us only five students remaining. I dare say we could all use a spot of tea and something to eat."

The break was just what they needed to revitalize themselves to finish out this first bit of summer homework for themselves. Albus made a note in the minutes that in the future, meals and other such breaks should be scheduled at least every four hours, since it seemed the eight hours they had spent secluded for this process was a little much for the staff to handle.

Leaving orders with the house elves for the tea to be kept readily available for the rest of the evening, the headmaster picked up the next file, noting with suspicion that it seemed rather heavy and marked exclusively in red ink.

"Why don't we retire the Sorting Hat, Albus?" Minerva asked, "Bringing back this method is a lot more accurate."

"I think my dear Minerva, that we ought to see how accurate it turns out to be in seven years time, and then we can review and take appropriate actions," Dumbledore suggested as he scrolled through the rather condemning file, his face growing paler by the moment. "Ah Severus, would you care to state Mister Malfoy's case? He is your godson after all... I shall serve as your vote."

"I argue that my vote is my own, Dumbledore. Well, I feel he is definitely Lucius Malfoy's son, and would like to argue that he's automatically perfect for Slytherin in that way," Severus said, "And that's my final opinion, and if you claim otherwise, I'd love to know why."

Albus blinked at the negation of his attempt at showing favoritism to one of the pureblood students with a parent on the Board of Governors. Clearing his throat, he sighed heavily and picked up the nearly bleeding mass of papers. "Very well, Draco Malfoy's made a noticible first impression by storming into his very first class and crying that his father would hear about this 'unfair' treatment. He then verbally assaulted no less than five students that he believed to be inferior due to them reading muggle comic books outside of class time, and then used a racial slur to degrade them further. When they failed to respond, he entered a fit of rage and burned all of the books to ashes."

As this news settled in, Albus began pondering how the scion of the Malfoy name could have fallen so low. But he had to press on, for the good of the school. "Now I would suggest that with his loyalty to his Pureblood ideals, he would make an excellent member of Huffle-"

"CERTAINLY NOT!" shouted an obviously upset Herbology professor, indicating that Albus may want to seek another supplier for his pipe weed should he take up the pipe again.

Undaunted, Ablus turned to the next teacher on the list of possible options, "The objection is noted, then perhaps Severus, you stated that the boy would fit in well with Slyth-"

"I will leave my judgement for later... I have a floo call to make," Severus started, trying to make a grand exit, until he ran into the door that Dumbledore had closed and locked prior to starting the meeting.

"Filius, might you see the wisdom-" Dumbledore began try anew once again, for Flitwick to begin fingering his dueling wand thoughtfully. Preferring not to fight with the great duelist he turned to his final hope. "Minerva, surely his brav-"

"Do you want to have a Gryffindor house after he enters the first class? We've already sorted two of the students who he slurred into Gryffindor, and they promised that they'd make his life hell..." Minerva hissed as her eyes narrowed to slits, "I say there's only two places for him, Azkaban or Malfoy Manor."

"Surely you cannot mean that, he is young yet and could still be saved..." Dumbledore began, for everyone but Severus to facepalm.

"Dumbledore, You claimed his father could still be saved... He's currently being investigated for several embezzlement charges." Minerva said, and the other two heads in agreement with her nodded.

"Severus, please, you of all people should see the redemption possibility in young Mister Malfoy..." Albus attempted to salvage this student's academic career, already two were going to henchmen academy of South Wales, he dreaded what this third lost student might mean.

"I unfortunately, must agree," Severus said, "And will be probably recommending Azkaban's junior re-education program for him... If he manages to survive, maybe he'll be sorted into Slytherin."

Seeing the battle as almost lost, he attempted one final try at getting the boy sorted. "How about we set him up with remedial courses-"

"SILENCIO!" Flitwick snapped, his wand silencing Albus with a vengeance before passing the remaining paperwork towards McGonagall. "I make a motion that Draco's name be stricken from the rolls, and his father receive a letter suggesting his son's time be better spent at another school. All in favor?"

It was unanimous, and Dumbledore was restored to being able to speak once the papers had been burned. "Very well, Albus, I would beg your forgiveness for my outburst, and will accept any punishment, but it had to be done."

"Ah, what is done, is done my friend, but perhaps young Malfoy's future is not with us after all," Dumbledore offered, realizing he was truly beaten, instead he summoned the next scroll on the list. "This next student is a member of the Weasley Family, long standing members of the Gryffindor house. However young Ronald has atrocious grades, horrendous manners, and seems to seek glory at the cost of others... In one notable incident he, in the same breath, managed to ask a student for help, insult them, ask what's for lunch, and brag about playing Wizarding Chess. He is here on financial support due to the family falling upon hard times, and helped save the school... I would suggest we pay for him to attend Kasparov's Chess Academy, as it would be far less fiscally draining for Hogwarts in the long run."

"Agreed. Given a chess scholarship may well mean he cannot brag, and has to work to prove himself."

Albus hated losing such a staunch supporter of the light-side, and a valuable connection for Harry to grow in the Wizarding World with, but after the incident mentioned above the two had a rather terrible row and refused to work together until the events of the Philosopher's Stone. Moreover, the twins would serve well enough to show Harry how wonderful the Wizarding World can be, and had been seen several times with the lad and his female companion Miss Granger. However, it was the simple matter that above all, this would likely be the best for the boy's future, and with weekly lessons from Madam Milovik's Manners Academy, he should turn into a first rate gentleman by the end of his seventh year.

"Any objections?" Albus asked only for formality's sake, since he'd seen most of the teaching staff request for Ronald's expulsion more than once.

"Only to one thing... Having him back in a hurry," Minerva groaned.

"Very well, I will post the Weasleys to inform them of Ronald's scholarship this evening, along with Missers Malfoy, Crabbe, and Goyle's rejections..." Albus stated as he pulled up the last three scrolls, laying them before him properly. "Congratulations, we are to the final three. Now, I suspect these are going to be hotly contested students for various reasons."

Pulling the first scroll, he unrolled it and displayed the picture of Neville Longbottom before reading the notes he'd added to the top after previewing all these the days prior. "Mister Longbottom has mediocre grades in all subjects save Potions, Astronomy, and Herbology. He excels in Herbology, is wonderfully astute in Astronomy, but his Potions grades are rather low."

"It is noted that in an overheard discussion among the first-years, he admitted that instead of his own wand, his Grandmother insisted that he use his father's wand. As we know, wands are particular about their users, and will never work as well as they did for their chosen bearers. I would like to review his grades should his grandmother take him to get a new wand," Albus stated calmly as a couple heads around the table nodded their agreement. "Professor Snape, it would seem that you are rather intimidating to young Neville, would you object to me bringing in Horace Slughorn as a second Potion's professor? It would lighten the workload for you, and I would let the two of you split the students at your own discretion. Also, any of the others who wish for a second professor, please inform me. It would be nice if you could add in suggestions for the position."

"I... will have Mr. Slughorn independently tutor Neville over the Summer, and, if he shows that it was my teaching methods, then I will correct the grades to Slughorn's assessment and also take the secondary professor recommendation." Severus grumbled, almost as if he'd been forced to suck the entire bowl of lemon drops without them being sweetened first.

"Thank you for being understanding Severus," Albus offered, knowing how much it galled the man to do so. "Further, let us look into sorting young Neville. His family has a long tradition of being Gryffindors, however there is a marked loyalty to his friends, his family, and the rules that cannot be ignored. Minerva, Pomona, would either of you feel that he would not fit well in your house?"

"We'll discuss it independently once the corrected Potions grade has been verified, but we both have interest indeed." The two women declared.

Blinking owlishly behind his glasses, Dumbledore nodded and set aside the scroll. "Very well, however, he must be sorted before the start of next school year... I suspect the next two might also have to await... other matters."

"Next is Miss Hermione Granger, Minerva, I believe that you interviewed her prior to starting this year. Has your assessment altered?" Albus asked, his thumb and forefinger outlining the section where Minerva had written rather golden reviews of the girl, a rather rare occurrence for the stern Scottish matriarch.

"If it has, it has only improved," Minerva answered with a smug little smirk of her own. "However, I may have to ask to be excused from this vote, as I fear I granted her a special boon."

The shock of this statement was very nearly a physical sensation that rippled through the council like lightning from the heavens above. "Minerva? This is highly unlike you..."

The head of Gryffindor house smiled sheepishly at the remaining council, before pulling out a sealed letter from her robes. "Young Miss Granger approached me about halfway through the year, and asked that I grant her this favor in exchange for any extra desserts, free assignments, extra credit, or other rewards for good behavior for the rest of the year. As you can all tell, I have not read the contents of this letter, and would ask to be allowed to speak on Miss Granger's behalf, even if it should cost me the vote on her placement. Knowing the fine young lady that she is, I know that wherever we place her would be honored to have her."

"And how many credits did she exchange for this favor?" Dumbledore asked, curiously, expecting a meagre amount.

"From all the other teachers and myself, nearly one-thousand credits. Which I might point out is over double the next student in line outside of Mister Potter," Minerva answered firmly. "I also wish to point out that I am among the lowest points given to her, and most likely purposely gave her less than I normally would, to prevent myself from showing undue favoritism."

Dumbledore blinked owlishly again, having been caught flat-footed again, holding out a hand, he took the letter and scanned it briefly before going ghostly pale. A quick missive to his deputy and he was unlocking the door. "If you shall excuse me, I have some matters that require my attention. Minerva, if you would be so kind as to lead the rest of this meeting? I will abstain from their placement, and only suggest we await the remainder of summer for the placement of these three students."

Minerva scanned the message once he'd left, and cursed in Gaelic. "Can you please summon Professor Vector? I have need of her in the near future." Minerva said, "You are all excused for the rest of the day."

As the council disbanded for the day, Albus was on the floo, calling upon various contacts in the ministry to try and confirm what he had just read. He had also confirmed what he'd told Minerva to the Board of Governors. He knew that, if he was lucky, he might only lose one position due to this.

"Amelia, could I trouble you to send a couple of your Aurors that are skilled at blending into Muggle society to an address for me? I suspect that there has been a rather grievous wrong done, and hope that we might be able to correct this before it continues anew in the summer holidays," Dumbledore explained to the busy head of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement, "Should what I suspect is true, I will turn over all documentation I might have in regards to the matter, and open all my files and knowledge to you."

"And if it means you are..." Amelia asked.

"It would be no worse than I deserve," Albus cut in firmly, his eyes serious, having lost the trademarked twinkle. "Please Amelia... do this as a favor for me. Might I suggest that muggle-liaison officer you work with... Since the address is in a nearly exclusive Muggle neighborhood."

"Anything else?" Amelia asked, somewhat suspicious about how this is going.

"Yes, I would like a trial by pensieve for one currently prisoner of Azkaban, I was reviewing some old documents, and found something that put his guilt to doubt in my mind," Albus explained while passing over the documentation that he had just discovered during the week he was supposed to be reviewing students. It wasn't that he didn't enjoy it, but rather it was rather dull and cleaning out his files had seemed interesting that day, until Minerva caught him.

"That's fine. I have noted that you have resigned from your position at Hogwarts," Amelia clarified, "It's unfortunate, but would be the needed by-line in the Prophet to actually allow us to keep students in the school with the stink that anything that could get you arrested would cause."

"I would appreciate that this matter be investigated before the students are sent home at the end of the week," Dumbledore explained, his eyes turning downward in shame. "I cannot send the student him knowing... Please Amelia, be quick about this... the address is 4 Privet Drive, Little Whinging, Surrey, England."

The conversation concluded, the two said their parting words, and Albus set about the final task he would undertake as headmaster, to prevent having to make Minerva suffer through the matter. He was writing to Lucius Malfoy, and the other parents, to inform them that their children will not be attending Hogwarts in the coming year. Oh this would raise quite the stink with those parents, but as he was not likely to be in charge of the school in the coming year, he did not particularly care. Lucius might very well be in the cell next to him, and he would be grinning the entire time at the expression on the man's face when he explained exactly why his son was unfit to attend Hogwarts.

Back in the council room, Minerva was reading over the simple note that she had been carrying for close to half the year, unknowingly holding confirmation of something she had long suspected to be the truth. And now because of it, she was looking to become the Headmistress of Hogwarts, step down as the Gryffindor Head of House, and possibly send one of the greatest man of the age to prison for his own folly. Turning she picked up the damning letter with a frown and read it over again, each word stabbing her heart deeply.

'_Esteemed Professors on the Council,_

_I am writing to request a single favor, having traded half the year's worth of rewards I might have earned for the chance to ask. This is not a favor for myself, but rather for another student, and perhaps the good of the school as a whole. I ask that Harry Potter not be separated from the four friends he has found, and that at least one be placed in the same house as he, or he with them should it come to that. The four students are: Fred and George Weasley of Gryffindor House, Neville Longbottom, and finally myself. As the last two are unassigned currently, I hope that we might be the best option of the four. He needs these friends by his side to drive the reminder of his horrid living conditions with his relatives from his mind. Due to outside circumstances attempts to draw the attention of the authorities to the situation have been met with magical blockage of unknown origins._

_Thank you for your consideration and time,_  
_Hermione Granger._'

A week to the end of term, and a simple first year's plea has turned the Wizarding World upside down. Oh how her earlier estimates of the girl's merit been far short of the true gem she would be for Hogwarts. She would have been proud to have been her Head of House, especially if she remained true to that friendship. Even with how wonderful the girl would be, she still wished to destroy the letter for all that it was going to do to one man.

Hearing a soft rap on the door, she turned to see Professor Vector awaiting her. "Ah, Septima, I had hoped you would come quickly," Minerva offered with a smile, waving the woman in. "Now... Professor Vector, as acting Headmistress of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, I name thee acting Head of Gryffindor House."

She only hoped that her expression had been more dignified as she watched Vector's jaw dropping in shock.


	20. Monsters Inc 3: Monstrous New Beginnings

_Psychological Report: Gibbs, M_

_She was left home alone the night of her parents were in a car crash, and disappeared from the locked home, only to return several days later. She insisted on staying at her parents' home for the following several years, only leaving after she had got some kind of doorknob._

_She is currently living in Surrey with one of her uncles, and has not shown any other forms of strange behavior._

"Hey, Harry!" Harry heard as he left Gringotts in the wake of Hagrid, "I've been looking all over for you. I even had to enlist some of my friends, but wherever you went to didn't have any closets in it."

He looked to see a familiar dark haired girl, and smiled. "I didn't know you were..."

"Magical? Well, My... other father had suspicions, which is why he gave me my universal doorknob."

"Ah... well Boo, this is Hagrid..." Harry offered lamely as he waved towards the half-giant next to him. Boo said something to Hagrid in a odd guttural tongue, and he nodded.

"Nice to meet ya too... Rare to see a muggleborn who knows Giant... Last one who did was some lass namedSophie," Hagrid offered back with a deep rumbling laugh.

"Hagrid, this is Boo, she moved into my neighborhood a few years back, I think her real name is Mary or something like that, but she's always gone by Boo, since her family keeps... having bad accidents," Harry told the giant, "If she loses her current guardian, she might well end up at an orphanage."

"I've been to the orphanage for work placement... Not a good place to be," Boo explained offhandedly, "Sulley got me something at Harryhausen's to make up for it."

"She asked me about my cousin's closet door, and after that we became friends," Harry explained with a shrug, "Oh and Boo? You've been asking, yes Dudley still needs those special doctor visits."

"I know. Claude told me last time I checked in at my part-time job." Boo replied, "Your cousin's closet door is no use to me though after Claude threatened to quit a couple of weeks before you left Surrey."

"What?" Harry asked intelligently as Hagrid marched them towards the wand shop. "But you said Claude wouldn't quit unless he had to deal with another bed wetting, snot-nosed, brat..."

"And tell me what part of those Dudley isn't." Boo said simply, "Your family is a disaster, and that's all I have to say on the matter."

"But we tried to get the police to check it out, and they didn't even remember us asking after I spent that night in the hotel and that nice officer brought me some chicken nuggets..." Harry stated, while Hagrid looked away silently. His face looked like he was rather displeased about something. "And then there was that whole incident with the teacher... and 'Kitty'..."

"I told you that Sulley's fine, you're the first person I know who's ever been allergic to his fur shampoo... He's got a new brand now." Boo countered innocently as she pushed him into the shop, showing Mr. Ollivander a long stick, which he examined.

"Not a local wood type, but definitely a suitable wand for you, Ms. Sullivan." Mr. Oliver mused while turning the wood in the light, after a moment he paused and looked up at the shocked expressions he was getting, "The Magical World recognises the adoption that happened shortly after your parents were found to have died."

"I knew someone had to," Boo offered after a moment, her expression sheepish as a few strands of blue fur were plucked off of her shoulders. "Umm... do you know how long it would take to make a wand out of that wood?"

"Oh not long... but... hmm... most curious... yes the wand would suit you nicely..." Ollivander suggested as he began puttering around at the table in the far corner. "Mr. Potter, please just start waving wands, you'll know when one picks you."

After seventy-three wands, five of which were put aside for further review, Boo began poking around in the stacks, showing Harry some of the more random combinations. "Hey Harry! Try this one! It's from a banana tree, and has a cockatrice's tail feather inside! No, no, no! This one! It's a rubber tree with Chinese dragon tendrils."

"Oh yes, those are some of my early works, before I settled down in England, I did a bit of travelling and picked up some exotic wands," Ollivander supplied from the work desk, "I think you might particularly enjoy the Truffula wand, with Brickles in the core."

"Do you have a closet?" Boo asked, looking thoughtful, "I also need... hmm... a phoenix feather."

"The extra phoenix feathers are kept in that closet over there," Ollivander pointed out while pointing in the rough direction of the only other door visible in the room.

She returned a short time later with a similar piece of wood to the one she'd got out earlier. "Try combining these. I got it off the same tree... Also, I was told to leave a third stick for some girl named Hermione who would be in tomorrow."

"Good good, now... let's see... Mr. Potter, your wand hand please... the one you write with if you're a muggleborn," the wand maker ordered, looking over the fine specimen of wood. He couldn't place it, but it was a beautiful piece. All of fifteen inches, which would likely be shortened, and so very lively. The feather however was what really had him excited, the phoenix that had given him it as a gift, only left him with one other.

"Hmm... this combination... most curious... we can expect great things from you... great and... curious things... but very great things..." Ollivander offered as he measured the boy's hand.

"So... is this Hermione a friend of yours?" Harry asked curiously, trying to pass some of the time while they watch the wands being made.

Boo paused a moment before answering, as though thinking about something. "She... is the first and only person that Mike Wazowski couldn't get to laugh. In fact, she scared him into sitting down and waiting until she was done reading some book before she'd allow him to attempt his routine."

"Is she the one that he'd only refer to as scary, brilliant but scary?" Harry asked as Mr. Ollivander soaked the wood in some strange looking concoction.

Boo smiled secretively as she waggled her wand playfully before answering, "That's for me to know, and you to find out."

"And who is that girl who keeps finding Randall and telling him he's some odd creature that Sulley corrects her on all the time?" Harry asked curiously as he took hold of his want with a look of wonder on his face. It felt natural to hold the wand in his hand.

"Oh, that's Luna, and she finally met Dave from the fourth floor..." Boo explained as she toyed with the doorknob shaped pendant on her neck. "Kept calling Randall a crumple-horned snorkack, but he's a hornless dirkird really. She's managed to solve several dozen magical creature identities as actually being lost staff."

Boo then felt her pendant vibrate, and she sighed. "Got to go to work. See you later." Boo called out, and Harry watched as she fitted the doorknob to the door of the closet, and it opened into someone's bedroom, which she disappeared into, closing the door behind her. He watched as Ollivander opened the closet a moment later to see it had returned to normal like they always did.

Harry knew which bedroom it had opened out to, Mary Sullivan's bedroom in Sulley's house, and it always would. He collected his wand and left to finish his shopping, smiling at how the one girl who stood up for him against Dudley and his gang would be there to do it again with anyone who decided to bully him at Hogwarts.

"Harry! I got y' a present," Hagrid cried as he exited the shop, revealing a snow white owl in a cage as though he hadn't been gone for nearly an hour. "Get yer wand?"

"Yeah. Got my wand." Harry said, smiling to himself at the wand whose wood was from a tree in the one place that he didn't feel out of place.


	21. He Was Right

_This story is a challenge ficlet for a challenge by Gouken 2010._

_The challenge is called 'He Was Right', and references Draco's boast on the train about the 'wrong sort of people'._

_The challenge is that Draco must discover the Weasleys have effectively leeched everything they can off Harry, so chooses to send himself back in time, knowing that, the first change he does, he'll be erased and that's his chance gone._

_Challenge requirements -_  
_1. Future Draco must only do ONE act that stops the Weasley family cold on that 'accidental' meeting in King's Cross. The only thing he CANNOT do is outright kill any of them._  
_2. The new timeline cannot have Draco sorted into Slytherin, or Harry sorted into Gryffindor._  
_3. The Weasley Twins can have the Marauders' Map, but it must predominantly be Harry's._  
_4. At no time in the story must Harry owe a debt to Ron, Ginny, Percy or Molly herself._  
_5. This story is Manipulative!Molly ONLY! Dumbledore can be misguided, but not outright evil, and Snape... well, He's Snape. Nuff said. You can't really change Snape._  
_Optional Sixth -_  
_Arthur must get divorced from Molly and take the Twins as 'true' Weasleys, and ensure his eldest two boys aren't stricken from the family tree._

_This is only a sample of the 'He Was Right' challenge story, and will only be fulfilling the first two of the six parts._  


* * *

  
Draco frowned darkly as he reread the headlines of the Prophet, that trusting hero Potter was declaring bankruptcy after his wife left him with nothing in the divorce. He had tried to warn the man once about the 'wrong sorts'. Of course in his foolish youth he had made it sound like muggleborns and half-bloods, instead of the leech-like vermin that sucked the blood out of the ancient and noble houses like the Malfoys, the Blacks, and the Potters.

Tossing the paper aside in a fit of rage, he cursed softly as he realized he couldn't blame Potter for this one. No, he'd learned about how his scum-sucking uncle had raised him, so of course the boy would latch onto the first family he came across. After their first encounter, it just kept getting worse between them. Mostly it came from Draco's misdirected rage at his warning being unheeded, and the slimy git clinging onto Harry's coat-tails.

Running his tongue along the back of his front teeth, he let out a soft laugh as he realized that Granger was a right wicked sort, and shouldn't have had to be sucked into the trap of the Prewetts, well Weasleys now. Looking back at the paper, he smirked as he saw Hermione at Harry's side during the press release, and the surviving Weasley twin. But none of the other family that had claimed to love him.

Perhaps it was time for him to do something, not give Harry money, as that would just be a slap to the face. No it was time to do something that he'd often imagined.

Pulling out a black silk encased book from the shelves of his family spells, he gulped as he realized this was going to be a single shot in the dark. He had to pick the act just right, or else his sacrifice would be for naught. Closing his eyes, he knew what he would have to do. Opening the tome, he let it fly open, the world blurring around him as the book whisked him away into the past. As the world returned to a more sedated pace, he couldn't help but marvel at the book he'd used. True to the promise his father had made, it dropped him off exactly where he had wanted to be. The station's changing rooms.

Reaching into the locker in front of him, he 'borrowed' one of the conductor's uniforms, and changed into it. True it was a little loose in the back, but it still fit well enough for him to fool the one person he had to.

Pushing his way onto the station floor, he smiled just as his target came into view, not even ten steps away. Giving the crowd a quick glance, his smile widened upon seeing the utter lack of red-heads in the area. This was his chance.

Walking over to the boy he gave him his best smile, and held out his hand. "Hello lad, name's Tom Felton, can I help you?"

"Oh... well I was looking for a platform... but the other conductor thought I was joking, sir," Harry offered quietly while holding up his ticket for the Hogwarts Express, which Draco knew no muggle not blood related would forget ever seeing.

"Ah, that's because he's not magical like us... Come on lad, I'll show you the way," Draco offered while helping the boy up from his luggage truck. Taking him over to the proper portal he distracted him with a few questions, so he didn't even notice they were going to hit the portal until his luggage had already passed most of the way through.

"And that is how we get to Platform 9¾. Isn't she a wonder?" Draco asked, while waving a hand at the gleaming train before them. "Go on and get a seat inside, my boy, I've got to go help others."

Harry didn't even notice as the strange conductor vanished into thin air barely steps away from the portal, his jaw was too busy embedding itself in the cement under his feet in amazement. This was wonderful, this was magical, this was awesome. Briefly he wondered if there might be some classes at his new school to teach him about those types of portals, and if he couldn't maybe set one up in his bedroom wall to somewhere nicer.

Meanwhile, as Harry went on to ponder about the future schooling he was about to receive and find a cabin on the train, two identical redheads were whining to their mother about running late. "Come on mum," one mewled plaintively for his twin to pick up.

"Let us go ahead," the other twin added on in the same bored tone.

"We promised," the first picked up in explanation.

"To meet Lee and-" the second continued, only to be cut off by a large woman who was obviously sick of playing verbal tennis with her sons.

"FINE! Just go, but you two behave or you'll regret it, so help me Merlin!" Molly snapped at her boys, pointing her hand at the portal to the train. "Ron, we'll wait another twenty minutes, but if that brat isn't here like Dumbledore said he would be, you are getting on that train. And it'll all fall to you, you fail me and you won't get any dessert next summer. Understood?"

"Yes mum..." the youngest boy groaned as he looked around for the messy black hair he'd been told was to be his best friend this year.

He barely even had a chance to cover a foot section before his younger sister whined, "But muuuum, you promised me I could see him... I even have my lines memorized like you told me!"

"I know dear, but if he's not here, he's not here, and we'll have to try again should Ron let us down," Molly tried to mollify her daughter, patting her lightly on the head. "I know you won't let me down, and so you'll get Ron's desserts should he fail this year."

"MOOOOOOOM!" Ron complained loudly, turning red in the face at the thought of losing his two kilos of sweets per week, just to watch his little sister wolf it down.

The final piece to fall into place was just walking into the cabin that Harry had found, with orders for the two flunkies that had flanked him on either side to wait for him outside. "Potter, I fear we got off to a bad start. I want to warn you about falling in with the... wrong sort."

"Look, I don't know who you think you are bu-" Harry started, to be cut off by the blond holding up a hand.

After a moment, the other boy settled in and sighed heavily. "Forgive me, I'm horrid with this sort of things. I'm Draco Malfoy, as I introduced earlier, but today I'm here on behest of my mother," Draco explained, and at Harry's blank look he tried a new track. "Does the surname Black mean anything to you?"

Getting a negative response he counted down from ten mentally before starting anew. "As you may have gathered, you are something of a celebrity in the Wizarding World. Now Mother has it in her head that you are likely to be the next heir to the House of Black, since your godfather Sirius would have likely put it in his will for you to be, and probably didn't remove that line. My mother is Narcissa Malfoy, formerly Black, and she doesn't want her family's long and prestigious line to be ruined."

"What I am to teach you about is the wrong sort, the social leeches that will drain you of every knut to your name, and then leave you alone and destitute..." Draco explained, getting a nod from Harry to continue. What followed was several hours of discussion over the various proper sorts for one to associate with.

Shortly after the conclusion of their discussion, a soft knock sounded on the door, alerting Draco that his henchmen had either wandered off, or were asleep on the job. "Come in," Harry offered warmly, allowing a bushy-haired girl to enter their compartment.

"Excuse me, but I'm looking for a toad that's gone missing, have you seen it?" the girl asked while her eyes roamed over the cabin. Draco smiled to himself as he realized that this might just be the type of friend that Harry needed. She seemed the helpful sort, and her tone had a bit of a cultured edge to it.

"I'm sorry, miss, but we haven't seen a toad, have you asked the Prefects to try and summon it?" Draco offered, hoping to save her a bit of trouble.

"Oh thank you! That would make a lot of sense, I'll go and find one now," the girl stated, before pausing and looking at Harry closely. Without a second thought she smiled and waved her wand over his glasses. "Occulus Reparo."

With that the raven-haired boy's glasses fixed themselves, and the two exchanged names before the girl disappeared into the halls in search of a prefect. "Hermione Granger huh? Can't say I know that name..."

"I think she's a good sort... but I'll keep my eye on her, Draco," Harry stated with a friendly smile as he held out a hand. "Thank you."

"It was my duty, but it turned into an honor," Draco suggested with a smile of his own before shaking his hand and standing to leave. "Now, I'll be leaving to attend to matters elsewhere on the train. We should meet before the welcoming feast. Have a good day."

Harry nodded as he held open the door for Draco. "Thank you again."

Draco smiled as he walked away, finding his two stooges hovering over the Honeyduke's Express like a pair of vultures. However, before he could start to scold them, he noticed the frizzy-haired girl from earlier returning to the cabin with Harry, and a smile spread over his face. She would likely be the good sort that his mother encouraged him to talk to.

Putting that aside for further investigation later, Draco went off to see Pansy, his betrothed. These meetings tended to be such a bore, and sadly, since Pansy was such a stickler for the old ways, it meant that he would be stuck there for a longer time than he wanted.

Unfortunately the necessities of the meeting took longer than he'd hoped, and he hadn't been able to revisit Harry before the arrival at Hogwarts, just as he feared they would. Pansy was such an unpleasant girl, that it made it very hard to even pretend to care about her. Thankfully Daphne Greengrass had been around to provide him some relief from her.

Getting up to the stool after his name had been called, he sighed and felt better about his day so far. Knowing that things were looking up, and going according to schedule, he just had to study a little for the 'test' that his godfather was going to give during his first lesson and he would be set. After all it would be good for him to gain points for "HUFFLEPUFF!" on the fir-

Wait a minute... what?

The hat was lowered off his head, allowing him to survey the stunned reaction the rest of the school was having in a similar manner to himself. Finally he allowed himself to be led to the nearest seat of the Hufflepuff table, where everyone else gave him the same incredulous stare he was giving them. Father would not be pleased to learn of his sorting. Knowing his godfather, he would know by the end of the day, whether Severus liked telling him or not.

His mind had just exited its state of gridlock just in time to hear Harry's name being called. The hat was placed on his head, and Draco managed to compose himself with dignity and grace that he had lost initially. This was just a minor setback for the proud scion of the Malfoy line.

And so when the hat let out a cry of "RAVENCLAW!" he was able to clap loudly for his friend, and begin hoping that his father wasn't going to kill him when he came home for the Christmas holiday, that is if he was still a part of the family.

Looking over at the Ravenclaw table, he smiled at seeing the bushy-haired girl from earlier sitting there, welcoming Harry to their new house. They would certainly be among the proper sort in that house, and at least they hadn't been stuck in Gryffindor.

Now to see about getting himself transferred over to Slytherin, or to play this to his advantage.


	22. The Boy Who Vanishes

_Just a note about the previous chapter, the giver of the challenge wants to express that it's open to everyone and he, like I would love to see them. Also, if you link me to your attempts please feel free to message me._

* * *

Huddled in a small corner of his cabin, a small black-haired boy watched the door fearfully, his breath hitching every time a shadow so much as breezed past the window into the main hall. They were out to get him, just like those people at the inn, and those owls, and everything! His uncle had sent them after him to ensure that there would be no 'freakish' stuff, no matter where he went. Hugging his knees tightly to his chest, the boy gulped and continued to pray that his ability to 'vanish' from sight would hold.

His uncle hated it when he vanished, for nothing anybody could do would bring Harry out of hiding until he wanted to be found. Usually followed by a quiet apology and a disappearing act into his small little cupboard to hide from the world. There was some dark and terrible force that hated him for being a 'freak' and that was why he had a scar on his head. It was why he had no friends at school. Hearing the door rattle as someone tested it, he held his breath. His eyes focused firmly on the length of wood he had wedged between the handle and the side that it slid into. Hopefully these people would think the door stuck and just leave him be before his freakish curse affected them too.

His hopes were dashed however, when the stick dropped out of its position and fell to the ground with a clatter. Now his only hope for them to go away was that they were looking for someone, and when they saw him, or if he was luckier still, didn't see him they would go away. However it seemed that the bushy-haired brunette hadn't actually been looking for anyone, and instead the girl settled into the corner right by the door and began reading a book she plucked out of the top of her trunk.

She made no greeting to him, so maybe she hadn't seen him. This gave him a chance to observe her before his curse could affect her and make her hate him. She was a cute kind of girl, with how her eyes sparkled as she read, and the quiet way she sat. There wasn't any of that nervous energy that other girls had, nor was it the anticipative energy of one waiting for a friend.

His breath hitched in his throat as she turned to look at him curiously, as though she might have seen him. Instead of any further reaction, she simply returned to her book. That's when he noticed that the train was in motion, she had been looking out the window, not at him. He was safe from being detected so long as he didn't decide to reveal himself to her any time soon.

He almost let his guard slip when the lady with the trolley marked with "Honeydukes Express" peeked in asking if the girl had wanted something. He was so hungry, he could have sworn his stomach could be heard by the both of them, but thankfully his strange power of vanishing seemed to muffle the sound as well.

Instead of being revealed, he watched as the girl bought a couple packs of something called "Chocoballs" and left them sitting on the bench beside her. Strange, she didn't seem the type to particularly like sweets, but maybe she was hungry, and her book couldn't supply that type of nourishment.

The girl waved goodbye to the lady with the trolley before opening one of the packs and popping one of the chocolate spheres into her mouth, letting it melt slowly instead of chewing on it. After a few minutes, she seemed to finish with it, and stood while grumbling about looking for the loo. Harry smiled at that, realizing that she truly thought herself alone in the cabin. However, instead of waiting for her return, he decided to abandon his hiding spot and began wandering the train, wondering about the title of the book she had been reading. 'The Invisible Man' had been one of his favorites when he was allowed to go into the library during study hall after-all, and it was just strange that there was another fan on the train with him.

Rather than focusing on it, he plucked up one of the sweets, leaving a few knuts in its place before heading out into the train's hall. He was grateful that he had sent along his stuff to this Hogwarts place, along with that large white owl, with that Hagrid guy. Sure he wouldn't have minded the company of Hedwig, as he'd named her, for a the couple days before the train left, but he couldn't have something giving away his location to the Dursleys.

Same as when he'd gone in, the hallway was lined with cabins, but this time they were all filled with kids. Noisy, unruly kids talking about how exciting this year was going to be. Two that stuck out were the redhead twins from earlier. They weren't talking loudly, in fact they were whispering over some sheet of parchment. Peeking in, he marvelled at how it looked to be a map of some large castle, with names moving around on the page. The names "Albus Dumbledore" an "Rubeus Hagrid" stuck out the most in the quick glance, making him wonder if that map wasn't of the Hogwarts place. Ducking out of the cabin, he just avoided a dark-skinned boy with dreadlocks entering.

He would have to be wary of that map if it revealed where people were. He couldn't trust them not to do something to him. Everyone was out to do things to him. A perfect example was oozing his way down the hall towards him now, along with his two Neanderthal looking bookends. Sidestepping them, he watched as they walked past, while the two girls in the cabin talked idly about something or other that he couldn't really make out. Whatever those older girls were talking about must have been important or secret. But he couldn't think of why they would whisper about tribes or scissors, let alone the two of them in the same sentence. And shaving a cat just seemed unnecessarily cruel.

He would have to try and avoid whatever group had yellow and black for colors, especially with the one girl having such a big and shiny badge pinned to her robes. He'd seen it on many other robes walking around, but really thought they just looked tacky and silly. With only a second to spare, he slipped out of the room, just as the one wearing the badge stood up and closed the door, pulling the shade down once it was closed.

With a shrug, Harry continued on down the train, stopping to buy a sandwich off one boy his age with red-hair like the twins with that map from earlier. He remembered that he was the youngest boy, just starting at Hogwarts this year. Thankfully his family had been running late, and thus Harry was able to simply follow them through the portal to get onto the train in time. He had been complaining about not having money for candy, and that all his mom had packed him was a couple measly seven-centimetre thick sandwiches. Since he had been so nice as to lead him to the train, although unwittingly, Harry decided to leave him a pair of galleons so he could treat himself to some of the sweets from the trolley.

While munching on the sandwich, he happened upon a toad that was hopping loose in the halls. Watching it for a few minutes, he decided the poor guy was hungry and left him a chunk of meat off the sandwich. Poor bloke probably would have been grateful for the meal, had not a couple minutes later a pair of hands snatched him up with a happy cry. Then the scolding set in.

Really, a toad as a pet? They just never listened and always did what they wanted. Now spiders like the ones in his cupboard back home were cool, as was the giant snake at the zoo he had accidentally freed, but a toad?

Then again, the list from Hogwarts didn't really leave much room for choices.

Having made it to the end of the train, Harry decided it was time to head back to his cabin and maybe pick up those robes he had stashed under the seat for changing before getting to the school. That robe, and his wand, had been the two things that Hagrid had insisted that he take with him on the train. Must have been a wizard thing, since he hadn't needed them in the slightest.

Getting back to the cabin, he found the girl had returned, and was dozing peacefully in her seat, her book folded neatly in her robe covered lap. Smiling he decided to risk being revealed in order to save time. Kneeling back where he had been curled up, he pulled out a neatly folded black bundle and carefully slipped it on. He would force himself to be revealed once he was a part of the crowd of first years in their robes.

Settling back in, he awaited the end of the train ride. At least that had been the plan, until he noticed one remaining chocoball sitting on a slip of paper which read 'Free' in neat penmanship. Looking at the sleeping girl, Harry couldn't help but smile again as he realized he had slipped up. She knew someone had taken her chocoball, and she just wanted to let them know that there were no hard feelings.

Scooping up the candy and paper in a smooth motion, he popped the former into his mouth, while the latter was neatly tucked into a pocket. This seemed like it was going to be a good year after all.


	23. Harry Potter and the Hubris Curse

In an ancient museum, a sole caretaker carefully dusted a statue of a boy barely at the age of maturity in the Wizarding World, one that was known the world over. Harry Potter, the defeater of Voldemort, and The-Boy-Who-.

Now there once had been more, and if one were to ask the caretaker, she would lower her half-moon glasses and gaze lovingly up at the statue before telling you the tale of how that was removed. For Harry Potter had so hated the name that he blasted off the final word and ordered that the title should never be said again.

"He saved us," she would say fondly as one long and spindly finger pushed back her brunette hair, now streaked with grey. "No, not from Voldemort, or Riddle, or whatever you wish to call him. No, Harry saved us from something far greater than any Dark Lord that ever was. Dear, noble Harry... he saved us from ourselves, and our hubris."

She would then fight back a sob, and go about her business again, not answering any questions pressing for answers. However, should one catch her on the anniversary of his disappearance, under the setting Sun, she would tell the tale. The tale of Harry Potter and the Hubris Curse.

"A long time ago, in the year 1998, Harry had just defeated Riddle for the final time..."

* * *

Harry stood in front of the assembled crowd that had come to fawn over him after he had saved them once again from the great and terrible boogieman that had been haunting them in plain sight. For the past three nights, he hadn't had a single night where his rest wasn't ripped from him by visions of blood drowning him in their midst, dragging him under with invisible hands. Just as he was about to slump against the wall, a warm hand encircled his arm, causing him to look over at his longest and truest friend. She knew about the nightmares, and had been helping him get through the nights, and even now concern for him was written on her face clearly.

He gave her a wan smile, trying to reassure her that he could make it through this ceremony, but somewhere deep in his heart, he knew that was a lie. He was stretched thin, and all he wanted now was to curl up in a ball somewhere, lick his wounds, and finally be able to mourn all those that had died in this damnable war.

Finally the Minister had finished his long-winded speech and was getting to presenting him with the present that he had commissioned built in his honor. He knew it was too much to hope it was something tasteful and simple, like a little medal he could hang on his mantelpiece. But what was revealed was too much.

His heart began to simmer with a boiling rage as the gleaming, polished marble was revealed, showing him standing proud and strong against the forces of evil. The seething, rolling mass of rage nearly boiled over when he saw a dark and imposing Voldemort under his foot, instead of the weak and sickly form that he had fought in the end. But what had really set him off, what had caused his rage to boil over was the engraving. "Harry Potter: The-Boy-Who-Lived-To-Save-Us"

He'd always hated that moniker, and seeing it extended was like rubbing salt into the fresh wounds of all those deaths lost in the fighting. It was almost as though on autopilot that he drew his wand and fired a blasting hex into the plaque, leaving only the first three words of that dreaded, hyphenated farce remaining. Smirking to himself he turned on the gasping crowds with a glare that had given even the hardest of Death Eaters pause before their master fell. It was time to tell him what he really felt.

"You utter MORONS!" Harry shouted with tear-stained rage as his finger stabbed at the statue accusingly. "You complete and utter morons! I didn't live to save you! I lived to save my friends! I lived not to be held up on a pedestal, or dragged through the mud! I lived because my mother gave her very life for mine!"

"Only one person in here ever gave me what I sought in life," Harry continued to the stunned crowd, "No one asked me what I wanted, they just demanded. Fine then. Here's a demand for you."

Reaching over Harry touched the still warm stone lightly, his face twisting into a cruel smirk. "This name shall be forever left unfinished, if it ever is completed, I shall unleash a curse of hubris upon the entire nation."

At the confused looks from the majority of the crowd, he knew they didn't know what it was. Instead of filling them in, he left the threat simmering in his mind as he looked at the one woman that had ever been there for him. "Hermione..."

The woman simply gave him a small smile, and shook her head. "Go Harry, be free."

And with a flick of her wand, she unleashed a cloud of smoke that obscured him long and thoroughly enough that no one could see where he disappeared to. No attempts had been made to try and find him, not since his apparating for nearly the length of the entire island had been made known, and that was with an injured fully-grown wizard in tow.

Almost instantly they had attempted to repair the statue, but the wizard that had started casting reparo clenched his chest in pain, dropping like a stone, dead. Most muggleborns recognized the symptoms of a heart attack, but nearly all the half-bloods, and all the purebloods, cried out that it was the Curse of Hubris coming for them. Nothing could be done to persuade them otherwise, and thus it remained.

When a wizard charged with the task of explaining the Curse of Hubris to the history texts came forth nearly a year later with the definition, the government seemed to change nearly instantly. Instead of being corrupt and underhanded, the Ministry started acting in the best interest of the people. New members coming in would find that the word 'hubris' and its definition was carved in foot tall letters on the wall opposite the employee entrance.

Eventually a museum was built in honor of the various heroes that had died in the Great Wizarding Wars, and the statue which had become known as "The-Boy-Who-" was donated to serve as the central piece honoring all those who had fought, be they human or magical beings.

The first proprietor of the museum, the very woman that had founded it, wouldn't let a single other clean the statue. She even took the very rags out of the hands of those that tried, performing the cleaning in a nearly ritualistic manner. Never once would her eyes lose the tenderness she held for the subject, and in honor of her relationship with him, no one objected.

* * *

Here the caretaker would pause and smile ruefully as she patted Harry's worn trainers affectionately, almost as though expecting the man himself to feel it. "He was never heard from again, but one woman knows he'll come for her if she's ever in need. Just like she always came for him..."

She would wait until she was alone, and then with a tender smile look up at the stern face of the boy who she had first met all those years ago. "I just wish I could have been there for you again these past few decades Harry..." she would say before turning away and taking up her position in the main offices, the name on the glass in delicate golden letters reading. "H. Granger. The-Woman-Who-Was-There"


	24. Resetting the School

Luna looked at the pair of rusted shut and dusty doors in the Ravenclaw tower dubiously. Well, it had all started when she'd asked for a book, and had been told by Madame Pince to try her house library, since the school library was not officially meant to be used by Ravenclaws.

"It's..." She said to Professor Flitwick, who looked at her.

"Well, According to the plans, this is where the, hmm, the SCHOOL library is meant to be, the Ravenclaw rule being a recent addition... No wonder Ravenclaws use the school facilities. In fact, The library's current location was, according to the plans, a duelling hall originally, but they misplaced the library." Flitwick offered, then, looking at her, "Are you thinking what I'm thinking?"

"Wisdom is meant to be shared," Luna mused quietly as she ran her fingers over the seal embossing the door.

"Yes, I am thinking that, but maybe, just maybe, some of the facilities are incorrectly set up... I know my great-great-great-grandfather talked of the potions classroom being in a much better location, and the dungeons were exactly that... Sealed off even." Flitwick huffed, "Well, Why should all the houses not be in towers?"

"Fools and paupers playing games with futures of those that depend upon them," Luna mused happily as she pushed in a little button with a blissful smile. Setting off a somewhat loud click and a series of grinding noises. "Oh the Higgledypigs were right."

As the doors began to creak open, there was a loud screeching sound that caused both of them to wince, and the doors seized up even more than before. "Maybe, next time, we'll check the mechanism for opening the doors has been well maintained." Professor Flitwick said, "I'll get some students on scourgifying and restoring them next time they earn a detention."

Luna's solution was far simpler and seemed just as effective. With a gentle kick the door continued grinding out of the way. When it seized up for a second time, there was enough of a gap for people to get through, although, the amount of dust kicked up was worrying.

"I wouldn't force it any more... We'd need to get some people in to check the charms and everything... Oh dear, oh dear... I'll file it with Minerva, and let's go investigate anything else that has been forgotten or omitted from the modern wizard's education." Flitwick suggested.

However Luna didn't seem to hear, as she strode directly into the library and drew a line in the dust. "Here, the wards end here." With that she turned away and walked out with a smile. "Professor, are we having a test this week?"

"Why?" He asked, wondering what she meant about the wards.

Luna smiled and nodded as she rounded a corridor, nodding to where two students were dragging the deputy headmistress towards Gryffindor Tower. "Oh, I'm just thinking that it will be delayed... that's all."

"A lot of things are delayed or cancelled." Flitwick agreed as he pulled out a document from his robes, "I got out an old copy of the school charter to find the map that lead us here... Apparently, there is an automatically filled potions supply cupboard in every house's common room area, with special charms on it to stop students using potions more than 2 years above their current one. I asked Dumbledore where ours was, and he said that Severus was working on it... and that was 10 years ago."

"And what of the other houses? Do they have libraries? That would seem so boring... Oh I know! Gryffindor could have a duellist training room, and Hufflepuff would be wonderful with a council room..." Luna mused happily as she watched Professor Sprout being dragged away towards the Hufflepuff commons.

"Hmm... Let me check the map, then I'll get back to you," Flitwick said, predating whatever was going on that required all the heads of houses by heading for his office.

Luna smirked happily to herself as she waved to Hermione and Harry from the balcony above them. It would seem that Hermione's delving into the past issues of the Hogwarts yearbooks was paying off in more ways than one could predict. Oh how she loved these delightful bouts of chaos that followed Harry like bad cologne. She was finding it hard to make up creatures to explain them all.

Looking down upon Harry and Hermione as they walked hand-in-hand towards her, she could only think of one thing. She wasn't going to have to keep it up for long.


	25. Power Rangers: Spell Force

Author's Note - This moves Harry Potter to happen in the late 90's-early 00's, to allow for Tommy to have left the team.

********

It was the start of another year, and for once Harry had been able to stay out of trouble, or so he thought. Now it was a matter of trying to figure out why the new professor had asked him to stay over. The fact that Hermione and Neville were still there as well gave him a bit more hope that it wasn't something major.

********

That lasted only long enough for Fred and George to walk in. "Sorry about being late professor, we were held after Transfiguration to find out if we have anything to do with the Slytherin hall suddenly turned into a swamp. We were found innocent of all charges."

********

Avoiding looking at Hermione who was flicking her Galleon below her desk, he slowly shook his head, hoping she understood that he doubted it was for that. That doubt was strained a bit more when Luna breezed into the room with a worried frown. "Professor Oliver? Is this about me seeing those Wrackspurts around you and the rest of us? I didn't think they were dangerous..."

********

"They're not Miss Lovegood, but they did clue me in on another matter that I had been looking into," Professor Oliver stated casually, as though she hadn't just declared worry over some imaginary creature, "Have any of you heard about the problems they had for a few years over in Angel Grove, California?"

********

"I have," the only muggle-raised student whose caretakers took care of her answered while raising her hand. "Isn't that the location where those-"

********

Tommy reached under his desk, and got out a odd looking white helmet from under it, placing it on the desk, and then tossed a odd device after it with a broken coin embedded in it. "Please continue." He offered dryly while waving a hand over the items.

********

"P... Power rangers..." Hermione answered with a slight quiver in her voice. "But... you... White..."

********

"As well as Green for the first few years, and Red shortly before I went into teaching." Tommy declared, "Right, now we've got that out of the way... I've got a proposal for you all."

********

"Wait, Power Rangers? Hermione, you can't be serious, Uncle Vernon said that it was..." Harry protested, only for his brain to catch up with him shortly afterwards. "Objection withdrawn. What are we doing with a Power Ranger for a teacher?"

********

"Needed the money, and the magical world here thought I was a wizard." Tommy explained with a hapless shrug as he put away the helmet and coin embedded device.

********

"Harry, you know that curse of the rangers?" Hermione whispered as Fred and George broke into a string of loud and intrusive questions. "The one where if there's a ranger, there's always..."

********

"A world to save?" Harry groaned piteously as he realized just what that might mean for him in particular.

********

"Or a whole galaxy," Tommy interjected, proving that his hearing was rather acute for a teacher at Hogwarts, "but that's just a superstition based on the fact that the rangers always serve as guardians of the peace against various hostile entities."

********

"So the truth?" Luna asked curiously.

********

"It only seems to happen at locations of large magical nexuses," Tommy explained, "Where there's very little mystical energy, powers cannot be created or harnessed, so no Rangers, Beetleborgs, VR Troopers, Kamen Riders..."

********

He continued for several minutes listing off various groups other than Power Rangers who cropped up suddenly where they were needed. "Now, What is Hogwarts?" He asked once he was finished, "And yes, if you get the feeling I expect, I'll not be surprised."

********

"I get the feeling I'm not going to like this..." Harry groused again getting a sympathetic look from the teacher and a hug from Hermione. "Hogwarts is a magical nexus isn't it?"

********

"Well, Why else would four people build a magical school out in the middle of nowhere?" Tommy continued, taking a set of blocky items out of a case he'd got from the floor as he spoke, "Now, you might think these won't work since they are 'technology', but that is a mistaken thought of a group who feel that blood purity is more important than progress."

********

"Morphers! By Merlin! Those are Morphers..." Hermione gasped as she eyes the devices laid out before her. He then handed her one with the Ravenclaw colors and a stylised raven's head as the design. The raven turned to look at her and winked before returning to normal.

********

"Correction... They are YOUR morphers." Tommy declared, holding out two that looked like they had a green and a silver snake's head on them, "Fred and George, you are the cunning Rangers for Slytherin, also known as the Green and Silver Rangers. You can use either morpher, it doesn't really matter, they both work for both of you."

********

"Snakes? Why are we with that bunch of nitwits?" Fred asked with a snort.

********

"Because, dear brother, we are as cunning as the First Snake." George replied, "That is what makes us Snakes... not our pure blood, but our intelligence and cunning with our pranks."

********

"Very good," Tommy declared, "Hermione, you are the wise Ranger for Ravenclaw, also known as the Blue Ranger, a group who have, for many years, been the wisest Rangers ever to live... and a Ranger, who, for many years, was also the same person," the professor explained while helping picking up the next one in the line. The crest of Gryffindor.

********

"Courage of the heart is very rare, as are Red Rangers who wear skirts with their uniforms," Tommy declared, handing the lion-headed morpher to Luna, "You have stood up against adversity and your own bigoted housemates, and I am proud to say you have earned this morpher."

********

"Hmm..." Hermione mused, looking at Harry, wondering something, "Why is he not the Gryffindor Ranger?"

********

"The leader isn't always the one wearing the Red uniform," Tommy replied to her musings, tapping the White Ranger helmet, "They are just the most courageous and true to themselves."

********

"Can I not be the leader for once?" Harry asked curiously while pointing at Hermione. "She's usually the one in charge of keeping me alive..."

********

Tommy laughed. "And I'd forget my head if it hadn't have been for Kimberly," he exclaimed, "You are courageous to a fault, you are wiser than you give yourself credit for, you need cunning to last against the threats you face, and you are loyal to the point where you'd throw yourself in front of your friends to save them, even if it meant your death. Basically, you are the one Ranger who has no true crest, because you are all four virtues in their best ways."

********

"What about the Hufflepuff crest?" Neville asked from the back of the room.

********

"Ah yes, the ranger whose Loyalty is second only to Harry himself. You have lost as much as him, but you don't try to rub it in that you are the one who was missed by your nemesis. You instead stand by him and defend him when lesser 'friends' make him into the perfect martyr," Tommy explained, "Like there are very few Red Rangers who wear skirts, there are few Yellow Rangers who don't need them... and you are one of those male Yellow Rangers."

********

"I take it the Ranger selector is a bit sexist?" Hermione asked with a dry tone.

********

"I don't know why, but Pink Rangers are always female." Tommy mused thoughtfully, "However, I do notice that the Yellow Ranger, despite being female for during the first few teams, didn't actually wear a skirt. I never did bring that up with Zordon... Anyway, Harry, you are the White Ranger, the white knight who protects despite the fact he feels that he's not worthy of such a lofty position. In all honesty, you might not be, but that's not going to stop your team mates reminding you that you are the one they want to fight for, fight with and be the champion of when the time comes."

********

"Does this come with that talking flute sword of yours?" Harry asked while holding up his morpher.

********

The morpher in this case had a dragon's head on it, who roared at him, before saying, "The flute was the Dragon Dagger, the sword was Saba, and I wish to mention that yes, you do get a talking device that will help you if you need it."

********

"Thanks for that..." Harry offered lamely as he scratched the back of his head. "So... do you have knowledge of all the rangers past?"

********

"No, I just have knowledge of their equipment. I'm forbidden from telling you about anyone's name, gender, ethnic background, social security number or current address." The morpher intoned dryly.

********

"No, I just want to be a good ranger, and I figure that-" Harry began, for Tommy to cough.

********

"You could just ask the veteran ranger," The morpher offered sardonically.

********

"You're our Defense Against Dark Arts teacher..." Fred started, for George to continue.

********

"And... Oh, you sneaky... Power Ranger work IS DADA." George exclaimed, "We're fighting against Dark Wizards, so we are learning DADA under Professor Oliver!"

********

"Still, I don't think that Professor Oliver wants to go through all the old rangers' adventures for me to learn from," Harry explained with something resembling boyish glee.

********

"Nah. We'll only cover the ones that the Blue Ranger feels are appropriate," Tommy corrected, as he got out a laptop and a large stack of laserdiscs to use on it, handing it to Hermione, "I have deliberately censored out all times where a Ranger's name is mentioned or they have their helmet off. Well, it might end up on the internet by accident, and we wouldn't want someone finding out things they shouldn't."

********

"So we have Red, Yellow, Blue, Green, Silver, and White..." Harry counted with a frown. "I thought one rule was that there was an odd number of rangers to start."

********

"Well, Dear leader..." Fred began.

********

"I think Professor Oliver..." George continued.

********

"...knew we were coming..." Fred continued after that.

********

"So gave us the Sixth Ranger early." George finished.

********

"That is true, and I doubt that all six of you will be able to deploy at once," Tommy countered, "So I can get away with a even number."

********

"You didn't say that there wouldn't be a need to..." Harry pointed out suspiciously.

********

"It would be foolish for him to say so." Hermione countered herself, "Let's say we got relaxed with the idea you, me and Neville deployed normally... And then we needed 4 or more of us for a battle. If the other three Rangers are told not to deploy unless absolutely necessary, we could find they never do in time."

********

"Fair enough... so Hermione, just let us know when you're ready for me to see those videos," Harry suggested while he looked at the morpher currently attached to his wrist. "I think I need to look into martial arts."

********

"I do classes every night for 4 hours after the end of classes in the room down the hall from class." Tommy offered with a smile, "If anyone except Rangers actually attends the classes, I'll give those students 10 house points per class."

********

Harry caught Hermione's eye and raised an eyebrow, tapping the pocket he kept his galleon in, when she nodded he smiled and returned to focus on Tommy.

********

"Oh yes, and Dumbledore's Army can use the Dojo any day of the week when I'm not doing classes," Tommy offered, picking up the coin out of the morpher, "Can you do the same enchantment to this coin after doing a basic repair charm on it? It's got no known power in it, but still..."

********

"I told you that secrets didn't last in Hogwarts," Harry groaned as Hermione took the coin from her teacher.

********

"And I only know since Dumbledore told me," Tommy reassured him, "I'm not ONLY a Defense teacher. I'm also a freelance trouble-shooter, which basically means that I deal with problems that Rangers normally would."

********

"So that's how you came to replace Umbridge?" Harry asked hopefully.

********

"I came to replace Umbridge since Dumbledore needed someone with a survival instinct, combat experience and plausible deniability of anything he sees in the school. I've been lying to various people most of my life about what I did at school, so it was no problem." Tommy explained, "Well, you can't exactly say your grades dropped 20 points because you were busy saving the world."

********

"Oh no, my grades..." Hermione groaned as she began revising her schedule mentally.

********

"Are already 'Can we make a new grade that has the letter H'..." Tommy declared with a chuckle, joined by several others in the room, "You could forget your classes for a term and still pass your NEWTs with the best grades in the school."

********

Hermione blushed slightly at the praise, causing Harry to nudge her gently. "Relax 'mione, you have grades that could cause all of us to pass, and still leave you in the top fifty percentile if shared out."

********

"Anyway, Rangers, There's a group of Dark Wizards about to attack Diagon Alley in order to capture Olivander. The Morphers act like Portkeys that are already keyed into the wards of the school," Tommy declared, "You can pick your morphing phrase, but just make sure you defeat them."

********

"Let's power up!" Harry called out, as the others struck a pose behind him, Tommy facepalming, before waving them off. "We'll figure out something better later, let's just go."

********

Once they were gone, Tommy smiled, reaching into his desk and retrieving a sword in its scabbard. "Saba, I think we've found our newest group of Rangers." He mused, the sword nodding, "Good thing Zordon was able to rescue you when the White powers were destroyed. So, Let's toast to a new beginning..."


	26. Dark Lady Granger

Hermione sighed as she exited one of the bathrooms at Hogwarts, only to find herself in a dimly lit but rather poshly furnished meeting room. Turning around she found that just walking back into the bathroom was now impossible as the door had vanished. With another heavy sigh she took in the office space warily, her wand drawn. It would seem that her first day revisions would have to wait. On the large table in the center of the room sat the only thing she wouldn't have expected to find at her parents' offices. It was a nameplate with her first and last name embossed in a fine script. Deciding to wait, she sat down in the padded chair and kept her wand at the ready. In all honesty, if someone had asked, she'd admit that she was more surprised that the weirdness surrounding the life of Harry had taken so long to take an interest in her, than anything else in the room.

****

That was at least until what appeared to be another door appeared, opening to reveal something that would have made a troll turn its nose up in disgust. The three foot tall creature had sickly green skin, a hunchback, one eye nearly hidden behind a growth on its eyebrow, and a club foot. It was almost a complete and utter shock when it spoke. "Ah, Lady Granger, sorry about that, one of the other clients' monologues ran long and I missed..."

****

"Can you please explain what's going on?" Hermione asked angrily, "I do not have time for this!"

****

"Right you are Lady Granger," the creature stated as it sat at the table, a large pile of paperwork appearing out of thin air. "I am Emery Spats, and due to your having ignored our previous messages, some rather drastic measures were deemed necessary to facilitate our meeting. But before we get down to business, would you care for some refreshments? We can get the Minion in Training to bring something up from the kitchens..."

****

"Thank you, no... but what messages are you talking about?" Hermione asked, now not only confused, but also curious about what was going on.

****

"You didn't get our letters requesting a meeting?" Emery asked in surprise before writing something down. "Quite alright Lady Granger, we'll investigate the matter. I suppose I should start at the beginning then... Welcome to the Society Providing Educated Ways, formerly the Dark Order of Revolutionary Knights and Squires. We are looking for a better acronym writer."

****

"Oh, is this about copyright violation? I can change my little organization's name," Hermione offered placatingly as she wondered if this was going to take much longer. She really did want to revise her studies for the new school year.

****

"No, We violate copyrights all the time. We have a entire department about profiting from other people's work. Lady Granger, this is about licensing you as a proper Mistress of the Dark Arts, and I must admit, for an unknown, you've set yourself up very nicely," Emery explained while opening a folder. "Not only do you have the most recent Light Wizard in Training as a close friend, but you also have attacked one of the scabs, given the Ministry several cases of ulcers and heartburn, have outstanding grades to back up your cause, are currently dating the most treacherous bastard in your territory and have pissed off several Pureblood elites. All we need to do is fill out a few forms and make it official, you'll also have to read a few books, but no classes until after you graduate from Hogwarts."

****

"My cause? Dating? What are you talking about?" Hermione asked in utter confusion as she tried to figure out how the twins were pranking her now.

****

"You are currently dating one Ronald Bilius Weasley, betraying your friend, Harold James Potter, in the process?" Emery asked, "That's what it says in the file."

****

"Are you kidding? We fight all the time," Hermione countered with a deep frown. "I would never hurt Harry! Your files must be wrong. Now what about this cause you were talking about?"

****

"Oh yes, of course Lady Granger... we understand completely... wouldn't do to ruin your plans..." Emery offered with a conspiratorial wink before dropping out of sight with a loud scream of terror, followed by a whoosh of flames as an elegant man in a tasteful suit walked in.

****

"Sorry about the minion getting in Lady Granger, he was working for a scab whose mission statement we rejected. It called for you to date Ronald Weasley, and Harry Potter to date Ginny Weasley. A rather tasteless and simple plan for our organization," the man stated as he walked over to where the chair was and sat down on the replacement that appeared out of thin air. "I am Dr. R. W. Ling, and your mentor here. Now, you asked about a cause that you were supporting? And if you say OBHWF, I was definitely too late."

****

"No! I don't even know what that means... I was just at school and then I'm here... did you just incinerate Emery?" Hermione asked as she suddenly felt the need to be somewhere else, somewhere far, far away from this organization.

****

"A necessary evil I'm afraid, can't have unlicensed Dark Witches and Wizards, and their minions giving us a weak name," Ling answered while smoothing down his nearly pencilled on moustache. "But that is no cause for concern for you really..."

****

Hermione watched as the man plucked a folder off the stack and smiled seeing the information he expected. "Ah good, he didn't get to our files... Now, about your cause? I would suggest picking your nemesis first, makes it easier to narrow down a cause... from your past, we would recommend the Ministry, the Weasley family, and one Albus Dumbledore... personally I find it better to have an organization as your official nemesis until you can pick a personal one, makes it more likely to find a good match. That fool... Middle, Fiddle, can't remember his name, decided to go for the majority of the population of the United Kingdom, and that went disastrously. But what can you expect when dealing with amateurs that refuse to get their licenses?"

****

Hermione blinked in surprise as she tried to process all of this. "Could... do you have a pamphlet I could read? I really have to get back to school..."

****

"Oh of course, just sign on this line and we'll forward you all of the forms and books on the matter," Ling answered while holding out a clipboard with a single line at the bottom of a page filled with text. "Feel free to read the contract before you sign, and I hope to assure you that such an outrage like you experienced today will never happen again."

****

"Is there a option where I don't sign the contract, I get to read the pamphlet, and don't get railroaded into doing something I will regret immensely?" Hermione asked.

****

"Oh, this is just an information release form," Ling explained, realizing what she might have thought. "No, we won't have you as a full Dark Lady until after you graduate. Child labor laws and all that... If you wish to start early there is a form to fill out for internship credits... Course, you will not be able to get internship locally... And I do recommend keeping your friendship with Harry, the League of Light is very interested in him, and despite this being a Dark Organization, we do have anti-hero options available... So feel free to share the information with him as well... oh and those delightful twins you're friends with... can never have too many options when looking for a team-up."

****

Ling sighed happily as he leaned back against his chair while looking up at the ceiling. "I remember this one time-"

****

While the older man went on with his monologue, Hermione took the opportunity to review the contract that she was being asked to sign. Apparently most of it was a list of the various texts she would be sent over the next few years to prepare for her graduation, as well as the penalties for using the knowledge given against the organization, and ways to contact her mentor should she need anything else.

****

"Do not work with anyone named Dinah Glass or Dinah Hunter if you want to use a mind control plot, beware of blue police boxes and do not decide to have a McGuffin in your basement when you have a underground lair." She read off the advice sheet, only to stop when she heard a dark laugh from Ling.

****

"Oh yes, some of our more... unfortunate members learned the hard way, and we believe about learning from the mistakes of others," Ling explained while pointing to one about halfway down the list. "A personal favorite of mine, was demonstrated by a rather unpleasant scab over in the states..."

****

"No capes?" Hermione asked curiously.

****

"A rule of thumb with one of the best costume designers in any country follows religiously."

****

"Right... I'll be expected to have a costume if I pursue a full career as a Mistress of the Dark Arts then?" Hermione asked, checking over the contract once again. It all seemed far too legal for an organization filled with the most evil witches and wizards alive.

****

"Not really... We accept the equipment found in most fetish stores in the muggle world as good enough." Ling said with a chuckle, "Anyway, in answer to your other thoughts, yes, we can read minds, and secondly, considering that almost all lawyers are considered to be evil blood-sucking leeches, except in one case, and he's a mosquito?"

****

Hermione opened her mouth to answer before sitting back in a slump. "I can't believe it... I finally found some logic arguments... and they're from an organization of Dark Wizards..."

****

"Well, all the Light Wizards shunned things like thinking and exercising their faculties in favor of stabbing a stick in a direction and casting a spell." Ling grumbled, "Point, clean a room, Point, do the washing up, Point, copy a book passage into your essay... Young Mr Weasley is trying to learn that one..."

****

"HE'S WHAT?" Hermione screamed, her hair frizzing out in her rage. "I told him that spell would be best learned in seventh year, and that he should write the lessons by hand or he'd never learn anything! Honestly, I can't believe him sometimes. He claims to want to be a Quidditch player, but even they have to have OWLS and NEWTS to a certain level, unless like Victor Krum they are scouted young..."

****

"Ah, now you understand the true Wizard. If it's too hard to do with a spell, IT'S TOO HARD PERIOD," Ling responded with a laugh, "How often have you read a spell that was capable of doing something that mundane-born take ten times as long but actually learn from it?"

****

"Well... I suppose a lot of the basic household chores... and quick quills... and self-correcting star charts..." Hermione explained sheepishly as she studied the form in front of her out of embarrassment. "I guess I see your point..."

****

"I challenge you for the rest of your wizarding education, except when you need to use the spell or potion for the class itself, to do everything without using your wand or a potion EVEN ONCE," Ling said, "If you can manage to do that, you can forget you ever met me, and you don't have to sign anything. If however you find yourself casting even one shortcut spell or using a time-saving potion, my door is always open."

****

Hermione looked thoughtful for a moment before sighing heavily, "Does it have to be in blood or will ink suffice? And if I recommend some members, do I get a discount or something?"

****

"Ink will suffice... and membership is free, no eternal souls or pint of blood or similar." Ling said, "The only thing we ask is that you have a issue with the world, the drive to fix it, and damn anyone who stops you."

****

"If for example I hate the Ministry for using an innocent child as its whipping boy, and would like to see them grovel in submission at my feet just for the chance to beg his forgiveness... would that count?" Hermione asked as she pulled out a pen she'd kept from the summer, it was far easier than using quills.

****

"No, but if Mr Potter was interested, he could do what the hell he liked," Ling replied with a wink, "I know Ms. Lovegood would so enjoy being able to punish those nasty ravens for all the thefts and malicious pranks they do on her."

****

"And you mentioned Fred and George... I believe they will have a lot of fun with any assistance you can render dealing with our new... professor..." Hermione added, remembering Umbridge and the slimy feel everyone got just listening to her.

****

Ling walked towards a doorway, and snapped, "Get me Mr. Potter, Ms. Lovegood and Hell's Carrots! We're organizing something akin to SPLAT, but for our side!"

****

An indistinct murmuring came from the other side, causing the man to deflate slightly. "What do you mean you can't?" more murmuring brought out a heavy sigh. "Fine, bring them in over the next week then... we'll send Lady Granger back, since we can't open that many doors without alerting the old coot. OK, I need a good name for a group dedicated to bringing logic to the Wizarding World, deliver it to Ms. Granger... and find any supporters of Emery Spats, and feed them to the nearest dragon! And also send her some fetish catalogues, discreetly of course."

****

"That's quite alright!" Hermione insisted as she waved off the offer, a heavy blush burning her cheeks. "I'm sure I'll work something out without going to those..."

****

"Well, I would suggest Victorian gothic or bondage mistress for walking into the Ministry if you want them to actually give you the time of day. Crisp business suits only work with mundane dealings." Ling explained, "You're dealing with wizards, not the Mafia."

****

"I wasn't expecting to go pro just yet... I still have to finish school..."

****

"And, if I know how things generally go when a unsanctioned Dark Lord returns, I'll set you up for a fitting in two weeks for a new dress to wear for going into the Ministry. All our outfits for wearing by Dark Lords and Dark Ladies are guaranteed to both look damn good in a party, and also stop a .38 slug from point blank range." Ling proclaimed proudly.

****

"Since we're dealing with Wizards... what about stopping spells?" Hermione asked curiously, leaning against the table. "I suppose dragon skin would work... but that would get horribly expensive for things like a dress, even if it would look nice. Perhaps silk would work better..."

****

"Don't worry." Ling assured her, "You have plenty of credit."

****

"Ohhhhh no, I am not buying anything on credit from any organization that has solicitors on staff, I'll be paying for it with money when and if I buy anything," Hermione countered, having heard her father's rants about credit rates and bills enough to be cautious.

****

"Well, Mr Potter has several trillion pounds in money, and, if he is part of your group, you effectively have close to unlimited credit." Ling explained, "Otherwise, you'd be effectively bankrupt, since you have no money invested in a bank that we work with."

****

"I see... Well then, I suppose we have nothing further to discuss then," Hermione answered stiffly, wondering if it was all some ploy to get to Harry.

****

"If we wanted to get Harry, we'd have been a lot less subtle. We'd have used love potions or telling him the way to get to Platform Nine and Three Quarters when he couldn't find the way..." Ling said, before adding, "Have you ever asked him how he found the station, considering he was mundane-raised?"

****

"He was shown by the teacher like the rest of us were..." Hermione offered lamely, her eyes shifting away as she realized she hadn't ever thought to ask.

****

"Wrong." Ling said, then ushered her out of the room, and back into Hogwarts.

****

Hermione still clutched the form to get the information in her hand, and turned to face the door she'd been forced out of, only to realize she was where she'd been heading beforehand, and all trace of the office had vanished. All but the paper she had yet to sign. She just had one thought on her mind, she needed to find Harry and talk to him about this.


	27. Hermione's Absolutes

This is serving as a continuation to Chapter 6... might make more of them.

* * *

As Hermione sat next to the bed that her formerly male best friend was laid in, she fought back the tears of worry that threatened to spill from her eyes. It was his bed in the infirmary, even had the little plaque she'd made for him way back in third year. It had been shortly after Sirius' escape that she gave it to him as a little joke to try and break his funk over losing his Godfather.

That night, Harry had shared with her his Absolutes, and the next day Hermione Granger had made her own list. It wasn't as solid as Harry's, since she didn't think about it as much, but it was core tenets of her sanity to keep her from freaking out every time something happened.

Absolute the First: Harry James Potter needed her by his side always. Honestly, that boy would be lost without her keeping him grounded. She was one of the few constants in his life, and she never wanted him to lose that.

Absolute the Second: You couldn't count on Ronald Bilius Weasley for anything that didn't serve his immediate need. While Harry might see them as parents to the redhead, Ron was more like one of her younger cousins that always toddled along after her, wanting something. If it wasn't for the fact that it would hurt Harry, she would never associate with the prat.

Absolute the Third: Wizards, particularly Purebloods, failed at logic. If the potions trap in her first year hadn't been enough of a clue, there were several other examples over the years that highlighted this fact in neon letters.

Absolute the Fourth: Every year, without fail, Harry would be put into a life-threatening situation for the Greater Good of the Wizarding World. Oh how she hated this absolute, and everything it stood for. She could still see the young boy that had been gobsmacked with awe at a minor repair spell on the train, how shy and sweet he was... but the Wizarding World wanted him to be their great hero, and thus that sweet boy was buried away behind the mantel of the Boy-Who-Lived.

Absolute the Fifth: Hermione Granger could see the real Harry. This was born from her adherence to the first Absolute, and detestation towards the fourth. There was times when Harry needed to just be Harry, and he could do that around Hermione. At times she thought Luna Lovegood might be a good choice for a second, but something forbade her from mentioning it. An unknown feeling of seething jealousy would be how she would describe it if she read it in a book, but as it was in herself, she merely pressed on.

Absolute the Sixth: Harry's relatives were worse than living with trolls and basilisks. He might not speak of it, but she could see the truth in his silences.

Right now as she looked over the slumbering form of Harry Potter, the Boy-Who-Lived-To-Be-A-Girl, that sixth Absolute weighed most heavily upon her mind. There was no way he would be able to survive in that hellhole of a house as he was now. With only a week before the Summer Hols, she had to think of some way to either get Harry back to normal or get him out of going back. It was at that moment she noticed Ginny standing in the doorway, a look of sorrow filled understanding upon her face. "Ginny... he's..."

"Let him sleep... I'm just here to pass on a message..." Ginny ordered with a sad smile as she walked over and knelt on the opposite side of the bed. "Any idea how this happened?"

Hermione's breath hitched as she found her own failing in not knowing coming up once again. Tears stung her eyes as she stroked the messy, long, black hair of her best friend. "N... no... they're running what tests they can, but..."

"I understand Hermione..." Ginny answered softly, patting the older girl on the shoulder. "Just stay here for him, he needs you more than ever."

"O... Of course..." Hermione countered, the tears starting to roll down her cheeks as she studied the sleeping, peaceful female face of Harry. "What was your message?"

"The Headmaster asks to be notified as soon as Harry wakes up," Ginny replied while patting Hermione on the shoulder once again before standing up. "Use the galleons, one of us will alert the Headmaster for you, that way you don't have to leave him."

Hermione watched as the redhead walk away silently before bowing her head and whispering. "Thank you..." Once the door to the infirmary shut, Hermione finally let her walls break, she curled up against her sleeping friend and began to weep from the sheer amount of stress. She wanted to scream, to blast at the entire Wizarding World.

Why Harry? Why was it always him? Couldn't there be one time when it didn't have to be him?

In the distance a bell marked the end of breakfast, and thus continued another day at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.


	28. A New Life

A winged figure paced around the limp, lifeless form of the great hero before him. Lifting up the head of the form, he turned the body so it was hovering upright in the air before him while he mused. "Oh hero most noble, a martyr so young... but I sense your battle is yet to be fought..."

"Oh, we cannot have you fight to die, no you must have something to live for..." the shadowed figure spoke as he trailed his fingers over the lightning bolt shaped scar upon his audience's forehead. "No, one so young and pure need not die in such an ignoble manner..."

"You will be given a second chance, but not as you are... no, this form has failed, dear Harry, so it is time to reset the mold and begin anew..." the form whispered softly before running his hand over the naked form of the Boy-Who-Lived-to-Die, the flesh rippling in the fingers' wake. Where before were wiry muscles and hard lines of a hard life, there was now the soft curves and delicate features of a girl on the cusp of womanhood. "Yes... this form should do better... much more in tune with your magic's core... don't you think?"

Without waiting for the response that would never come, he lifted up Harry's head and began running his hands through the newly feminized body's hair. With each pass it grew longer and lighter, eventually taking on a reddish hue. When he finished the hair was now to the girl's shoulders and looking more like liquid fire than the jet black mess that had once been there. "Ah, so much like your mother you are now..." the figure whispered again sadly while smoothing out the lines of the face to that of a woman, though hardened by trials of her life, softer than the man she had once been.

Putting his forefinger and middle finger against the girl's eyelids, he lifted them to look into the emerald green eyes one final time. The usual life that had lit them was gone, a faded memory to the shaper. "Ah, but we cannot have all your father gone, now can we? Sadly, I fear his hazel eyes just wouldn't suit you... no..." the figure paused to consider what to do before slowly closing the eyes again, and opening them to reveal blue eyes.

These were not the icy blue that drove chills into the hearts of even the hardiest of men, nor were they the sky blue of the dear little seer Lovegood, no they were simply the blue of a lake at midday during the summer. Cooling and inviting, tender with a hint of mischief in the depths. "Yes... such a contradiction suits you well young one..."

"Hmm... all that's left is..." the voice trailed off, his finger touching the scar upon his young charge's forehead, now empty of the soul that had once hide inside it. He had seen to that earlier. "You... a scar upon such a delicate flower cannot be borne... nay and it shall not..."

Drifting his finger down, he dragged the scar into place between the young woman's bosom, sighing heavily at what must be done. "I cannot remove it, but I can alter it... first a scar it shall not be, but rather a birthmark..." he whispered rubbing the tips of his fingers over the scar, turning it into a small red blemish in the skin, one that he worked into different shapes before finally settling upon a the upper-half of a heart, resting upon a bowl. The resultant look however was not something he had expected, for he wouldn't know what a kiss mark would look like. "Yes, this is good... far easier to conceal than that nasty old scar..."

Brushing his wings over the girl he washed her clean of the taint her former life had, save for one place. As he stepped back, a red heart-shaped object emerged from the chest and hovered in front of the winged form. "A love-based magic core... Never in all my days... but what does it want me to do?"

Reaching out, he parted the side facing him, revealing a tangled, inky black mess inside. "What fool dared to meddle where angels fear?"

Steeling himself for the repercussions that his work might bring, he started pulling out the taint, revealing a worn figure huddled in the deepest crevice, her wand pointed at the darkness. "Brave little spirit... to have fought so long alone, let me assist you..."

"First, armor against the intruders I think..." the form whispered while twirling a finger, clothing the woman in armor that shone with an inner light. "Yes, that's good... it will turn the foes you face... now a weapon..."

Again the form paused to consider the form, who simply held up a wand. "Yes, of course, you have one... but I think a spell to aid you against the darkness against you..." the form whispered softly, touching the wand as a brilliant light passed into it. "Much like the human's patronus, this will drive back the darkness you face... and now..."

He smiled warmly as the figure bowed deeply in gratitude, before reaching forth and shutting the doorway to the core, a faint clicking sound sealing the brunette warrioress to her battle. Nodding he lowered the core back into the body, seeing color and life return to the form. "Excellent... now young Harriet Jasmine Potter... to your life..."

With a simple swirl of his wings, the woman was turned into the form of a babe, less than two years of age. Looking over her with eyes heavy with sadness, he kissed her forehead gently. "Remember that love will always find a way, I have opened the gate to your aunt's love, turn it not away."

Holding the baby in his arms a moment longer, he knew it was time to let her go, and so he released her. In the blinking of an eye she vanished and appeared in a crib, one fateful Halloween night. Turning away from the viewing portal, he closed his eyes and willed his ears to not listen to the horror that he was subjecting the girl to again. It was following orders from on high, but damn him if this wasn't Hell itself.


	29. Hermione's Dilemma

Hermione sighed as she looked across the table at the form of her best friend. There would be no problem with what she had been feeling. It was only natural to feel a certain attraction to her best friend after all they had lived through. Especially since Harry had more than once saved her life.

****

At least that's what she wanted to tell herself, save for the fact that Harry was no longer the boy he had once been, in a very literal sense. A few weeks ago, he had been turned into a girl through some strange unknown magic. So this burning feeling of love and unrelenting hormone driven lust filled dreams about her best friend were not normal. After all, she had never felt anything like this for any other girl before, but then again she had never felt this way for any boy either.

****

It was while watching Harry reach out and sip her glass of pumpkin juice that she knew she was in trouble. Imagining those luscious lips closing with her own, gasping in pleasure as the light faded around them enveloping the two of them in its tender embrace of secrecy. The heat of their bodies building to a fevered pitch as they explored each other's supple flesh.

****

"So, either you missed your potion and are using a glamor, or you're having a problem with the fact Harry is a girl now," a voice observed nearby, "What's wrong with liking a girl, there's a cute redhead a few seats down..."

****

At that, Ginny suddenly choked on her pumpkin juice, clearly having heard the comment. Hermione however turned to look at Luna who had seated herself next to her. "No Luna, I do not have a problem with Harry being a girl, and I told you the entire me taking a potion to not be a cat is a rumor. Can I help you?"

****

"Your rumored potion is in the library's research section hidden in a book that is supposedly the Life And Times Of A Muggle In The Wizarding World," Luna observed, "No-one would ever read something that trashy, right?"

****

Hermione counted to twenty before responding to the dreamy-eyed blonde. "No Luna, they wouldn't... now, why do you think that I have a problem with Harry being a girl now?"

****

"You're in heat," Luna answered simply, "It's admittedly a lot more obvious when you're off your potion, but I can smell it from the other end of the room."

****

"Luna, I am not in heat. First it's the wrong season for any creature to be in heat, save for the Southern Nile Sphinx, and humans don't have oestrus cycles," Hermione explained calmly as she pushed herself away from the table and started walking away.

****

"No, they just smell like they want to fuck their best friend's brains out," Luna replied cheerfully, "You have a very familiar scent when you're aroused. I can tell it apart from Ginny and other girls... Admittedly, when Ms. Pince has to use an air freshening potion to get it out of the smells in the library every few weeks, it gets very familiar very fast."

****

"Luna, drop it!" Hermione snapped as she got out of the Great Hall, her eyes drifting towards where Harry still sat at the table. "I do not have a heat cycle, I do not have a crush on my best friend, and Madame Pince does not have to use an air freshening potion when I leave the library!"

****

"Well, anyway, I'm going to go see if Ginny wants me to help her do some biology study, and I'll meet you later, when you find out that I replaced your potion with normal water." Luna stated, before walking off.

****

Hermione's eye twitched before she walked off towards the Gryffindor tower, she just couldn't figure out why nothing seemed to get Luna to stop with her crazy ideas... Of course, she'd get back to trying after getting Madame Pomfrey to replace the potion Luna ruined. It wasn't cheap to do. Just all the people she had to bribe to hide the potions in the library was annoying in and of itself.

****

Two hours later, she cornered Luna in an abandoned classroom with her claws... err nails digging into the wood of the door as she closed it. "Luna... you and I have some things to talk about..."

****

"Just as I expected." Luna said, repairing the damage Hermione caused, "So, What first?"

****

"That potion you tampered with is expensive to obtain, and even more so to hide, please leave it alone in the future," Hermione explained calmly, fighting the inner urge to take the price out of Luna's skin, especially from that oh so dreamy expression she always wore.

****

"And I actually just gave it back to Madame Pomfrey." Luna explained, "I wanted to see if you were really fooling."

****

"I'm not fooling..." Hermione started before sighing. "The second thing I wanted to talk to you about is actually about what you were trying to say earlier... I do not have a crush on Harry. I have become obsessed with Harry in his- her new form."

****

"So, What are you going to do about how many of your little secrets I know?" Luna asked slyly with a devious smile, "I have to be honest, I'm a secrets broker."

****

"I'm going to trust you to keep them secret," Hermione said after a moment, sighing softly, "You are not the type to go out of your way to hurt the ones you consider friends, and I hope I am lucky enough to be in that group."

****

"A secrets broker is not someone who gives away secrets. They make it their job to know them," Luna responded cryptically, before walking from the room, "If you want a better place to deal with your... furry problems, there's an empty room on the third floor that has a disused library in it. Don't understand why, but the books only need a good scourgify to get them presentable."

****

"Luna..." Hermione started softly before hugging her from behind, "Promise me this, you will not speak of the secrets you believe I'm hiding to Harry."

****

"Oh, Hermione, I don't believe you're hiding any secrets..." Luna purred, smirking before she dropped the bombshell, "I KNOW you're hiding them."

****

"Just... don't tell Harry... please," Hermione asked in a broken, defeated tone.

****

"If I wanted to see you like this, I'd have brought a collar and have not just given Pomfrey back your potion." Luna snapped, before adding, somewhat tenderly, "Think of me as the world's most unbreakable Fidelius. I have so much rubbish in my head, the hundreds of secrets I know are never found."

****

Hermione released Luna and sighed as she looked out the window, where she could watch Harry flying around on the Quidditch pitch. The beautiful woman was soaring and dancing upon the air like a bird upon the thermals. Putting her hand to the window she sighed heavily as she felt heart tightening once again.

****

When she turned away from the window, Luna was gone, and there was no signs she'd ever been there...

****

"Harry... I... I love you..." she whispered to the air, allowing herself to give a small smile.


	30. Tricking 'Mione

Harry sighed as he settled down into his seat at the Great Hall, watching the others going about their nice, normal lives. Oh, how he wished that he could have that type of life, but it was impossible for him. There seemed to be some sort of curse placed upon his life from when he was young in that he would never be able to have a normal life, instead he'd have to risk his life every year.

"Harry... promise not to be mad?" Hermione asked nervously as she joined him at the table looking incredibly nervous. This raised a minor flag, as Hermione never asked that unless something really strange had happened that she felt he would be upset about. As far as he knew, there wasn't anything that she'd do that would make him mad, except for that time in third year with the broom.

Taking a deep breath and letting it out after a count of ten he nodded. "I promise, Hermione, I won't get mad."

"I think I might have just engaged us and Luna," Hermione offered sheepishly, causing a few things to happen to the Boy-Who-Lived.

The first was to calmly set down the pumpkin juice he'd been in the process of picking up to drink. He did so in a way that cleared the entire setting in front of him. The next was to slowly turn towards his best friend in the world, look her square in the eyes and ask one simple question. "What?"

The third was to awaken a long sleeping part of his psychology, one that had been squelched severely by his upbringing. After all, hearing your aunt and uncle attempt to give you another cousin was enough to mentally scar most children for life. As such, a normally active part of a hormonally fuelled boy was silent in Harry, until now.

"Luna and I were talking about something, and the topic drifted to you," Hermione began, hoping that the owlish look on Harry's face wasn't a precursor to his famous temper. "We began talking about your future, you know, after beating the Dark Lord, and..."

Hermione couldn't help but flash back to the discussion that had gotten her into this current predicament. It started off simply enough with one little phrase. "Harry isn't planning to survive against the Dark Lord, Hermione," Luna had pointed out casually as she played with her butterbeer cork necklace.

"That's nonsense, Luna!" Hermione exclaimed hotly while lowering the essay she'd been reviewing while they talked. "He wants to have a big family and see them grow."

"Oh he wants that, but he doesn't believe he'll see it," Luna countered casually as though she was talking about lunch. "He would have already found a girlfriend by now if he believed that he had a future..."

For some reason Hermione took this as a personal shot at herself more than Harry, it was an odd feeling that she had about the entire thing. Turning a withering glare at the younger girl she frowned deeply, oddly enough in a way that would have cowed even McGonagall. Luna, however, was unfazed completely as she watched the fuming Hermione with an innocent expression. "That's not true, Luna, he's just had a lot happen in his life, and so relationships got pushed off. Besides he's had all those things that happened here at Hogwarts to contend with... and now this tournament that he didn't enter, is just making things worse."

"And he's always had you there, scaring off any potential girls... you and Ronald I mean," Luna corrected herself, though it didn't sound like she believed it.

"That's not true! I never scared off any girls from getting to know Harry," Hermione protested angrily as she slammed her hand down upon the parchment that had been her essay. It couldn't be true, she wasn't the jealous type of her friend. Why would it seem that she was there to prevent him from having a girlfriend?

"No, but you have prior claim, and no one dares refute it," Luna countered, oddly clear and coherent, which caught Hermione off guard. "If one were to go after Harry, then they would have to court you."

"I'd like to see that happen!" Hermione snapped back hotly, before blinking in shock as Luna leaned in and kissed her firmly on the lips.

"Challenge. Accepted."

"And so you see how I think that I might have gotten you into trouble with me..." Hermione offered sheepishly, wondering just what that gobsmacked expression on her best friend might mean. It barely even registered to her mind that the other students that had been lingering about were suddenly several seats away and not looking.

The arms around her neck and the smell of fresh flowers with a hint of the Forbidden Forest alerted her to the presence of another. "Silly Hermione, I'm not after Harry, he doesn't believe he has a future... yet," Luna whispered into Hermione's ear softly before giving it a playful nibble. "You're first."

As Hermione retreated, and Luna gave playful chase, Harry turned to the nearest person. Looking up at the normally stern-faced Professor McGonagall trying to suppress a smirk, Harry gave a defeatist sigh. "Professor? Are you **_sure_** I haven't been cursed?"


	31. Double Shotgun Wedding

There's so much that I enjoyed about this one... my beta demanded more as soon as she sent it back. So... what do you folks think?

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"We are gathered here today, to join in holy matrimony these two people. Should anyone object to this, please stow it for someone who cares," Fred preached proudly to the assembled masses before turning towards the two bound and gagged people about to enjoy wedded bliss. "Do you Harry James Potter, being of sound mind and bound body take Hermione Jean Granger to be your unlawfully wedded wife?"

At the angry growling and muffled words, he smiled and turned towards Hermione, who was currently looking at him with glares that could have cast Avada Kedavra on everyone in the room with a spare round for themselves to escape Hermione's wrath. "Do you Hermione Jean Granger, being of hostile mind and body, take Harry James Potter to be your unlawfully wedded husband?"

Taking the muffled noises that sounded suspiciously like cussing to be an agreement, he turned towards the assembled members of Gryffindor tower. "Before these witlesses, and by the power of magic itself, I now pronounce these two married!" Fred cried out proudly before everyone grabbed the nearest broomstick. Just as they were about to make good their escapes, a blinding golden glow surrounded the two bound captives. As it faded, everyone gulped nervously as the two were no-longer bound, and instead free with wands in their hands.

"Err... that's new..." Fred muttered before ducking the first of several hexes sent his way. "I WAS TALKING ABOUT THE RINGS!"

That bought the most of the rest enough time to bravely escape the righteous vengeance of the former captives as they looked down at their ring fingers, only to find the new accessory. The twin thuds that followed their eyes rolling back in their heads perhaps saved many more of their housemates.

A moment later, Minerva burst into the room with the Headmaster hot on her heels. One look at the pair she sighed and shook her head. "I should have known, thank you for coming, Headmaster, but I'll just move them to the newlywed suite after the elves clean it..."

"Ah, to be young and in love..." the headmaster mused while sucking on a lemon drop. After a couple, he poked at the chains and silk cloths that had served as gags, "Oh, I wonder where they got the ceremonial chains and gags..."

"What?" the twins asked in shock as they pulled out the book their prank had formed around, only to read the fine print.

'_If the above ceremony is completed as described above, a marriage bond will form between the two bound members if romantic compatibility is within acceptable ranges. To avoid this from happening, one should substitute the silk cloths with another material, or try another metal than iron for the chains. Should a marriage bond form, it is legally and magically bonding for life. Remember to bring the newlywed couple gifts._' the passage read, causing the twins to look at each other nervously.

"You get to tell mom how this happened," the two of them stated while pointing at each other. Deciding that instead of arguing they should make good their escape before their latest victims wake up to punish them, the pair ran away. They'd just somehow make it Percy's fault.

Meanwhile in the far-off lands of the Goblin Kingdom, a crystal ball landed on an outstretched hand. As the velvet covered hand lifted the orb up and the startlingly blue eyes peered out from under the wild, unkempt blonde hair to gaze into its depths. A moment later, a smile split the man's face. "Oh, but those dear little newlyweds are due for their marriage audit, aren't they? MOPPET! GET ME THE HEAD OF GRINGOTTS!"

"The actual head, or..." a female voice asked from out in the hall.

"The goblin in charge currently," he clarified with a heavy sigh to his voice, he really need to get that girl out more.


	32. Kitchen Wizard

"Good day class," a short, pudgy woman offered from the front of the strange classroom the students had found themselves in. Instead of the usual class, they were just given room assignments this year, and this one was odd even for that. With Charms being 'Classroom 2E' and Transfiguration being 'Classroom 1B', being told to go to "Classroom 2 ½C" stood out a bit.

The fact that it looked very much like their potions classroom confused a few of the students, until they noticed that there were several differences. Instead of jars of potions ingredients, there were canned vegetables, pickled everything, and strings of fresh garlic everywhere. The fireplaces where they would have put their cauldrons had multiple openings, several of which could be closed. Oddly enough, it was Ronald Weasley that had identified the room as being several kitchens first. Only odd in that he bothered to comment on that before sneaking a bit of preserves.

"I am Professor Ann S. Potts, and I am here to show you the Magic of Cooking," the woman continued, while locking up the preserves next to the cookie jar. "Now, if everyone would please find their names at the workstations, we can begin."

As she spoke, cards flipped up, revealing the name of a student who was to be working at the table. After a moment of shuffling, the students found that they were each alone at a table, with Ron being directly under the teacher's watchful gaze. "Since we're all new to this, I thought we could start off with something simple. Who would like a nice bacon sandwich for lunch?"

Getting a general murmur of agreement, save for one protest of vegetarianism from the back, she waved her hand and steaming fresh loaves of bread appeared on the workstations. Next to them were tubs of butter, rashers of bacon, and a strange looking tablet. "That tablet on your tables is a condiments dispenser. It will give you any amount of toppings you wish to add. Now, about the dearie that doesn't eat meat, let's work out something else..."

Many of the students looked at the uncooked meat and unsliced bread with wary expressions, while others just set to work preparing their meals. After a moment, most of the students were attempting to fry up their bacon, while the rest were trying to figure out the proper spell to use. Save two, one student just sat there and waited. The other was tasked with making a simple side salad for themselves, and due to having far less prep work to do, the rest of the class as well.

After an hour, and a few small fires, the sandwiches were presented for grading. "I must say, Mr. Potter, you have a knack for this... I trust you have had prior experience?" Professor Potts asked while inspecting the perfectly sliced and toasted bread, before peeking at the nice and tender looking bacon inside.

"Yes ma'am," Harry answered with a slight look towards Hermione, knowing she was watching him closely since this would relate to his relatives, and she didn't like them at all. "I would help my aunt in the kitchen..."

"Wonderful!" Potts exclaimed, causing more than a few students to wonder if she was related to their other excitable professor, Flitwick. Instead, she simply bounces merrily over to the next workstation, "Now Ms. Granger... This looks very textbook, not much experience in the kitchen?"

"No professor, just some roasts on Sundays with mum and I helped bake cupcakes for a bake sale once," Hermione explained with a dismayed expression, she didn't think there was anything wrong with her cooking.

"Oh, we'll get you out of that habit soon enough, but remember, a lot of this is personal tastes as well, so don't be afraid to try something new!" Potts encouraged before she moved onto the final student. Blinking in surprise she found that none of the ingredients had so much as been touched, save the bread and a butter knife. "Mr. Weasley? Where is your sandwich?"

"Well mum always said this was woman's work, so I was waiting for someone else to make it," Ron explained in a huff, "I got bored so I had to eat the bread while I waited..."

At this a noticeable twitch formed at the corner of the cheerful professor's eyes. After a couple seconds, she seemed to get back under control and smiled. "Mr. Weasley, I can tell this is new to you, so I will explain. This is a class to teach you how to cook, your mother is wrong. All wizards and witches should learn how to cook. In fact, all your brothers managed nearly as well as Ms. Granger and Mr. Potter when I had them for class..."

"But-" Ron started to protest before finding a huge apple shoved into his open mouth.

"No 'buts' Mr. Weasley, you will learn to cook, or you will fail this class, understood?" Professor Potts stated firmly as she pushed the apple in further with one of her fingers. "When you move out, you will have to learn to cook for yourself, or you will starve."

Ron mumbled something around the apple, that the teacher took as an agreement. Turning back to the class she smiled at the rest of the students. "And now class, bon appetit... Mr. Greenleaf, please pass out the salads to everyone but Mr. Weasley, since he failed to participate. In this class, you will either cook with the rest of us, or you won't eat with us."

"When my mother hears about this!" Ron protested, only to find the apple firmly reasserted into his mouth with a speed that few could follow. Harry could follow as the short professor yanked it out of Ron's grip, spun it three times on her finger, before slamming it into place with the bite mark perfectly opposite to the mouth.

"She will find that I do not cater to the whims of others in my classroom," Potts finished for him with a smile on her face. Most of the students were taking the chance to enjoy a meal with a show, and the bonus of not having their food taken by the human trash compactor. True they'd all probably grab something more from the Great Hall over the next hour, but this was shaping up to be amazingly fun.

The burnt bacon on some of those sandwiches, not so much.


	33. This is War - HP

This is an experiment: For a half-hour I will listen to a single song on repeat, and write about whatever comes to mind. Tonight's song is "This is War" by Thirty Seconds to Mars. Future song suggestions welcome.

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Harry fought for breath as he stared at the ghastly form in front of him; how had it come to this? How could he let all those people down? He was their hero, their soldier to battle against this greatest evil, and here he was on his hands and knees in pain. But this wasn't the end, no it was only the beginning.

Pushing against the mud he found a wand summoned to his hand without even a whisper of magic incantation. There was only one thought on his mind at this very moment, he was going to die but he was going to take that asshole down with him first. He would have loved to see the brave new world after Voldemort's demise, but for now he had to believe in the light that he was giving his life for as a sacrifice.

Slashing his hand downward he flung mud onto the ground at his feet, drawing the attention of the gloating demi-human. Giving the formerly human opponent a mock bow, he decided to start the duel between them again. The spells flew with an intensity seldom seen outside of the greatest of magical battle duels, where two masters of their craft fire off spells at such a pace that it seems one had barely passed their lips before another had begun. The dance between the two amateurs wasn't nearly as graceful as it might have been between those masters, but rather it was about the one that could dominate and overcome the shield work of his opponent first. There was no quarter given, nor asked. They both knew this was to be the final battle between them.

Green bolts of death shattered stones while bolts of red stunning magic glanced off of a shield. Fire, water, wind, and earth swirled about the two combatants in a maelstrom of death and decay for any foolish enough to enter it, while in the eye of the storm the two circled and flung their spells. Though the elder had experience and more knowledge of spells to draw from, he also suffered from a shattered soul and years of being nothing more than a phantom that clung to forms not his own. The younger had an edge in speed and stamina, but his limited selection of spells caused many to fizzle out upon the other's shields or be merely laughed off.

In a last, desperate attempt Harry called upon his favorite spell, Expelliarmus to buy him a moment of time for his brain to think up another spell. Instead of being cast aside, it met a Avada Kedavra in the middle with a shockwave that dispelled the elemental fury surrounding them. When the other combatants were able to see again, the two casters were locked in a sphere of magical light as their wills battled where their spells could not. However, they were not alone in their sphere.

As the battle continued, Harry could feel his will slipping with his rapidly dwindling magical core. Just was he felt his hand beginning to slip from the wand, a pair of others wrapped around his own, reaffirming the grip. Looking up, he found himself looking into the sad smile of his mother, and the proud grin of his father. Swallowing down the questions burning in his chest he turned back to the battle and began pouring on as much of his magic he could summon. Every time he felt himself falter for even a moment, another hand added their support to him. Sirius, Remus, Tonks, Dobby, so many faces that had been burned into his heart when they fell in ensuring that he make it to this final battle.

There were soldiers from the Ministry, from the Order of the Phoenix, from Dumble- no, from his army that lent him support. There were civilians that had died in a war that they hadn't even known they were a part of, and would never have the chance to know of now. With all these spirits at his right and his left, he knew that even to the edge of the world and beyond he could, and would, fight to the death.

Not his death, but that of the vile creature that was opposite of him. Drawing upon the love that he had for all his people, magical and muggle alike, he felt a burning build-up in his magical core, and words that he never knew before forming on his lips.

With a scream that he would never be able to repeat, no matter how often he studied the memories in the future, a surge of light shot out of his wand and down the connected beams of magic towards Voldemort. Before it slammed into the former man, Harry saw that instead of lending their support, the spirits around him were clawing and dragging at his wand hand, attempting to foil his attack. At the last moment he saw not the creature that Voldemort had become, but rather the scared little child that had been abandoned by all he had ever considered family, having never known love. He saw Tom Marvolo Riddle Jr. standing them with a smile on his face as he pried open the hand of his future self. Harry's eyes widened as the boy looked straight at him despite the unknown magic coming at him, and mouthed two words.

When the explosion of magic died down, and Harry was left barely standing at the base of Hogwarts with the Sun rising out of the horizon behind him, he couldn't help but laugh as he sunk to his knees. Looking up at the sky as it cleared and began turning blue, he couldn't help but laugh helplessly, until he realized that somewhere along the way he began crying. The war was won, and he was crying over the boy Riddle had once been, the boy that Harry could have been, all of the innocent children lost to the savages of the war. And for once, he knew that he wasn't a soldier, he had never been a civilian, he just killed the martyr, because they were both victims.

The grand, cosmic joke that had been his life was just too tragic to not be funny. A soft noise behind him drew his attention a moment before two familiar arms wrapped him in a hug that was both crushing and liberating at the same time. Messy brown hair drifted over his eyes as she stroked his back, letting him finally let out all of the pain and anguish he'd ever felt. There was no sound of fighting, just a resounding cheer from the victors.

If only he felt he deserved it.


	34. So You Think Your Friend is Magical

"So, you think your friend is magical?" Hermione read as she looked at the brochure in her hands. "Harry? Where on Earth did you find this?"

"A classmate at my old school that hated Dudley gave it to me when I came home from Hogwarts at the start of summer," Harry answered as he watched the countryside of England rushing past while the train wound its way towards Hogwarts. "It's very in depth, for a group of people that shouldn't know a lick about the magical world..."

"Step 1: Do not approach them, they and their friends are bound by laws which would cause your memories of them to be erased," Hermione read in an astonished voice. "Honestly Harry, this alone violates the Statute of Secrecy just by referring to it."

"From what I know of the Statute Of Secrecy, just breathing in a magical way violates it." Harry snarled darkly as he tucked the brochure back into the depths of his trunk. A moment later, the door to their cabin opened, and in stomped the red-haired menace to food and decency known as Ron Weasley.

"Oi Harry! How is the best Seeker in history going to top last year?" Ron practically shouted joyfully as he squeezed in between Hermione and Harry with nary a care that the seat across the way was open. "Budge over Hermione, gotta talk to Harry."

Hermione seemed ready to protest, until she saw Harry shake his fist just at the edge of her vision. Switching sides of the cabin, she settled in and watched as Harry and Ron talked about Quidditch, the welcoming feast, Quidditch, new first years, Quidditch, the basilisk, Quidditch, the House Cup, and for a change of pace, Quidditch.

She noted however that Harry looked exasperated, and was the cause of every change of subject that wasn't some thinly veiled reference to Quidditch. "Look, Ron..." Harry suddenly declared, "I heard about Quidditch from the Gryffindor team captain every week for two fucking years... Please, go hassle someone who doesn't play the game semi-professionally.."

He then made to get up and move away from Ron, who simply pulled him back down. "C'mon mate, we'll talk about something else then. Hey did you hear the latest about Sirius Black? They say he's been spotted in London."

"Ron!" Harry snapped, breaking out of his grip, "Why the hell do you need my attention like that?"

"I haven't seen you all summer, and we were busy at the inn while you were hiding out," Ron answered vaguely as he rubbed the back of his head. "What with catching up with homework and all that..."

"You see me all year at school. A few weeks is nothing," Harry continued angrily as he resisted the urge to slug Ron across the jaw, "Right now, I'd not want to be near you if you were the last wizard alive."

If he'd not been so busy discussing that brochure, he'd not mind a change of subject, but Ron's subject list seemed to get narrower each time he opened his mouth. And with the list starting off with only three or four items, it wasn't long before he was constantly rehashing the same story about the Chudley Cannons. "Geez mate, I thought you'd be happy to talk with mum hovering over us all the time."

"Yes, my ribs really enjoy those discussions." Harry said with a deliberate wince, "Your mother should take up wrestling."

"She did for a few years, but they made her retire after she killed a man," Ron answered offhandedly as the train slowed to a stop. "Wait... why are we stopping here? We're not at Hogsmeade station yet..."

"Didn't you know... I've not almost got killed on the trip here, like when someone with no driving license tried to work out how to fly a car to school," Harry commented dryly.

"You thought it was a good idea at the time!" Ron countered as ice began forming on the window behind Harry, and a shadow seemed to descend out of the sky. "Is that... what are they doing outside of Azkaban?"

"First, hindsight is very useful. Second, maybe they're out to catch Sirius Black?" Harry asked pointedly, moving to bolt the door for the cabin closed.

"Harry... Dementors aren't supposed to be loose, they feed on emotions," Hermione pointed out nervously as she watched a black cloaked form pull against the door, rattling it noisily. "And they're not easily deterred..."

"Well, hopefully, between you and me we can work out a deterrent, because it seems to have picked up on my stress over the dough-" Harry started snapping, only to stop as flashes of memories began streaking through his mind. "No... NO!"

"Harry, we're here, focus on my voice, you are safe, you are not in danger, whatever is happening, it's just a bad memory," Hermione dictated in a slow, clear voice, despite being ready to curl up in a quivering ball of fear herself. It didn't seem to have much effect on the Boy-Who-Lived. If it wasn't for the fact that Ron was whimpering and rocking back and forth in a tiny ball on the seat, she would have imagined it was partial to those raised in the muggle world.

A giant swirl of silvery mist seemed to overcome the black cloaked form and sent them running away. A scruffy-looking man arrived outside their door a few minutes later, and knocked politely before declaring, "I'm a teacher, let me in so I can check up on you."

Hermione, being the only one that wasn't completely shitting herself in terror over horrible memories reached past Harry to unlock the door. Deciding to cling to her friend for support, she hugged him close and let out a whimper of her own. "Here, eat this, it'll help," the professor commanded as he pressed a piece of chocolate into her hand. "You three are actually in very good condition considering..."

"H-H-Harry locked the door when he noticed something strange," Hermione declared, before slowly chewing on the chocolate, "If he hadn't..."

"Most likely, you three would be completely catatonic, and nearly dead," the professor stated flatly as he pressed a piece of chocolate into Ron's gibbering gob. "Wait... did you say Harry?"

Hermione pushed up Harry's fringe to show the scar, which oddly enough the professor didn't spare a glance for. "You do look like your father, don't you? But..." the professor stated wistfully as he locked on Harry's eyes, watching as the boy's senses returned to him. "You have your mother's eyes... Ah, where is my manners? I'm Remus Lupin."

"Excuse me for a moment." Harry declared, checking Ron wasn't actually eating the block of chocolate, before he removed it, punched Ron in the jaw, then put it back in, "Sorry, I just had to do it."

"Don't be, he won't remember it." Remus stated with a wave of his hand.

"That's why I did it then," Harry explained sheepishly as he hugged his other friend again. "Or at least that's what I'll claim if anyone asks."

"Harry... what am I going to do with you?" Hermione asked as she looked at the professor nervously. "He really is not as violent as all this normally, I think it was the Dementors, plus his relatives..."

"Ugh, don't remind me of them," Harry sighed as he slumped down in defeat on the bench, pulling Hermione down with him. "First they bring over Aunt Marge, and let her badmouth my parents with all the lies they've spread over the years. Then Aunt Petunia didn't even stand up for her own sister before I lost my temper... I suppose even if I hadn't caused Marge to float away like that, they wouldn't have signed my permission slip anyway..."

"They'd have probably made up some convoluted reason not to do it," Remus muttered darkly, "I'll be having a good talk to Dumbledore about why you're with them. I suspect a good reason, but it's because everyone else is indisposed."

"Don't bother, he'll just say it's for the Greater Good or something and give you a lemon drop," Harry grumbled as he looked out the window. "Maybe it would be better just to let Sirius Black find me."

"Actually it might..." Remus muttered as he pulled out a rumpled paper, showing a picture of Ron's family with a giant circle around Ron's head with the words 'It's him' scrawled in red. "He sent me this in a letter through the muggle post... Do you recognize the... rodent of unusual age?"

A loud squeak came from Ron's pocket, where said rodent had just woke up from inside, probably soaked in a mixture of rat and human urine, judging by the stained color, and suffocating under Ron's weight. "Speak of the rat..."

"Do we have to get him out? I'd really rather not touch that... even with magic..." Hermione asked in disgust as she watched the rodent trying to squirm free.

"Petrificus Totalus." Remus declared, pointing it at the rat, "I'll just tell someone that a student passed out in the train, possibly even call in the DMLE to get a statement, then be there to help deal with his pet. Does he have a cage?"

"Yeah, it's in his trunk," Harry answered while pointing to the hallway. "I have no idea where that is though..."

"Accio Ron Weasley's Trunk." Hermione suggested, standing outside the compartment. As nothing happened she sighed. "It was worth a shot... do you know who originally owned the trunk Harry?"

"Some great, great, aunt or other on his father's side," Harry answered with a shrug. "That's how he explained it to me, especially after he pulled a woman's knickers three times too big for Molly to wear out of it."

"Wait, I've had a thought... Accio Wormtail's cage!" Remus cried out as he thrust his wand out into the hallway. A smirk played out across her lips as Ron's trunk appeared before them, dragged by one of the corners. "Didn't think that would bring the entire thing... but that works."

"Wormtail?" Harry asked in confusion. "His name's Scabbers..."

"Got the bastard." Remus grinned as he pulled out a cage from the trunk, "Let's just say that Sirius is innocent. I thought something smelled worse than that pile of human refuse when your godfather betrayed you. Old magic, older than most of the world we know."

"You... you were friends with them?" Harry asked, swallowing a lump that formed in his throat. "Would you mind telling me about them?"

"Of course I will. Now, will someone stun that smelly lump and use a freshening charm on the entire area followed by a high power Scourgify?" Remus muttered, "One of us needs to sit there..

"I'm not sure I'd be any good at them," Hermione admitted, "I can't exactly practice them but I do know most of them."

"If there's a spell for it, Hermione at least knows the wand movements and incantation," Harry explained as his friend began making a few practice swipes with her wand. "She lives in a non-magical house, like me... and..."

"The Statute, trust me, I'm familiar with it..." Remus muttered darkly, nearly letting out a growl.

"So, while Hermione practices cleaning charms on Ron, want to help me save the other students?" Remus asked curiously after a moment, pushing himself up off the bench. "I suspect many will be like the first trio I found. Frozen in terror, the blond Slytherin poof had even shat himself."

"Let's go," Harry declared, "Once more unto the breach, my friend, once more."

"Ah, so young, and already sick of being the hero..." Remus mused as he led the way to reviving the student body. "Must be in Gryffindor."


	35. Ginny's Dreams

Hey all, a new chapter in the story that's slowly forming. Started back in Chapter 6 with Absolute Changes, continued in Chapter 27: Hermione's Absolutes, and once more in this one called Ginny's Dreams. Not entirely sure where my muse was going with this one, but I'm starting to get worried about what Luna's doing.

Hope the new year's a good one for you so far. I've got AM's for a good chunk of this week, so this is going up early. Enjoy.

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After growing up wrapped in the certainty of your dreams, it is hard to shed them and accept the truth even if it was staring you directly in the face for years. However, upon seeing Harry in the infirmary there was one thing that Ginny finally had to admit to herself, and that was even though she loved Harry, there was one that loved him more than she could ever imagine being able to. The red-rimmed eyes, the barely withheld tears, all of these were signs of a pain that went beyond physical, and showed just how seeing Harry in trouble of any sort tore into Hermione's very being.

And with that, her dream of being Mrs. Ginny Potter had shattered. There was nothing there for her now, no chance of falling in love. No chance of marriage. No chance of having a ton of kids with messy black hair and dazzling eyes like their father. Harry was a girl now, and she was left alone.

Not alone, some part of her mind echoed as images of her friends popped across her vision, and the solid weight of her galleon seemed to grow against her chest. No, she wasn't alone, she had her friends, and those other boys she had dated. She just... didn't have any dreams.

Since she was a little girl, her mother had filled her dreams with the white knight Harry upon his fiery steed coming to sweep her off her feet and take her to a palace like mansion. But girls couldn't be knights, and so there was no chance of that happening. Finding an abandoned classroom, she slipped inside and curled up on a chair, letting the musty order of disuse surround her thoughts as she tried to imagine her future now. She was doing brilliantly in Quidditch and her classes, though not without difficulty. It seemed the teachers were especially hard on her after Ron's dismal years under them.

That's right, her dream would have taken from being crushed under the shadows of her older brothers, and let her stand on her own two feet. Harry would have let her do anything she wanted, backed her with everything he had. And now what could she do?

"You could be her friend?" a familiar voice whispered into her ear, causing the redhead to leap nearly across the room, her wand out and ready to hex whoever had snuck up on her.

Smiling innocently was a girl that had been her friend even back before Hogwarts, someone she had lost touch with during her first year, but reacquainted with over the next few years. If there was anyone that knew her better than herself, it would be Luna Lovegood. "Did I scare you? I'm sorry, you seemed distracted by the pufflelumps."

"I was jus- what do you mean, 'be her friend'?" Ginny asked as her heart returned to somewhere in the vicinity of her chest.

"You were thinking about Harry... she needs her friends more than ever now," Luna explained calmly as if it was the most obvious thing on the planet. With a smile she claimed Ginny's former seat and patted her lap. "Come talk to me."

"Luna... I'm a bit-" Ginny started to protest, even as her feet drew her closer to her friend. "We haven't sat like that since we were kids."

"We still are kids Ginny, we're forced to grow up fast in the Wizarding World, but we are still kids. Why should we be preparing for a war? Why can't we act like kids once in a while?" Lune asked, her dreamy expression disappearing for a moment as she locked eyes with the red-head with a challenging expression. "Come Ginny, talk to me."

The sudden shift in attitude from her friend caused Ginny to pause a moment before taking her spot on Luna's lap. It's true that she hadn't sat on the blonde's lap like this since they were very young, but something else tickled the edges of her memories. Her friend had been this serious before, only when she needed someone else to hold and comfort.

It would seem that Hermione wasn't the only one broken up about Harry's recent misadventure. "Luna... why did it have to be Harry?" Ginny asked in a tiny, shaky voice. "He's a great guy... why is he always in trouble like this?"

"Because he is being followed by Nargles," Luna answered softly as she ran her fingers through the ginger's hair. "They cause trouble Ginny, remember I saw them first right before mother passed on?"

"Y-yes..." Ginny answered as she felt her emotions drain out, leaving her just tired and reminiscing. "You told me what they looked like, and warned me to be careful if I ever saw them..."

"That's right my dear Ginny," Luna whispered softly as her blue eyes softened once again. Leaning in she nuzzled against Ginny's neck, enjoying the warmth. "They were after Harry, but maybe as a girl he could lose them? Besides he looks cuter this way."

"Yes... a lot cuter..." Ginny commented as her eyes slide slowly shut. "Luna... thank you for making me feel better..."

"It's my pleasure Ginny..." Luna cooed softly as she turned to kiss the sleepy girl's neck, lowering her down to the floor carefully. "It has always been my pleasure... to devour your sadness my love..."

Shutting the door softly, she smiled to herself as she walked away, secure in the knowledge that Ginny would be safe for the moment. She had warded the room well, and stolen the dark energy from the girl to ensure her dreams would be pleasant and bright. It would be highly unlikely that anyone would be able to find the sleeping redhead until around lunchtime, but by then the power would have lifted the influence that had stolen her friend from her once before.

Luna wasn't about to allow her to vanish from her grasp once again, not after being patient this long. Anyone that would have looked into the room would have seen a grin that might have suited a predatory animal such as a panther or a wolf about to sink into a helpless rabbit more so than the spacey Ravenclaw. But as she began to undo Ginny's robes for her work, the smile was plastered firmly upon her face.


	36. Vassalage

I would like to apologize for being away so long, but work and other RL things took precedence for the moment. That said, any advices for continuing this particular story idea would be appreciated.

* * *

"Granger... just the girl I was looking for," a Ravenclaw stated calmly as she cornered the bushy-haired girl in the library.

Hermione barely lowered her book as her hand slipped under the table and went for her wand. While she knew that as a second-year student she didn't have as many spells available to her as the older witch looming over her, she wasn't about to let herself be bullied again. "No need for that, Granger, I am wanting to speak with you in regards to your duties as Potter's Vassal. I must admit for a mundane born, you are doing an admirable job."

"What?" Hermione asked as confusion stirred the depths of her curiosity. She'd never heard of the Wizarding World using the archaic Feudal system, but that seemed to be what was being laid out before her.

"You... are his vassal, right? Or do you prefer the term retainer?" the Ravenclaw asked as she settled into the seat opposite Hermione. "Either way, I'd like to schedule a meeting with Mr. Potter, and felt that it was appropriate to talk with you first."

"But I'm no-" Hermione started to explain despite the Ravenclaw pressing on.

"Now, I know that this might be a bit confusing, but you really should know all this as your Lord's retainer or vassal. You've done remarkably well in adapting, most mundane-borns don't learn to respect a Most Ancient and Noble House like the Potters until after they graduate. I was almost afraid that you were all book smarts and didn't know anything about the proper way of doing things."

"Shouldn't there be a cla-" Hermione tried to cut in, however the Ravenclaw once again overrode her.

"If you'd like I could scrounge up a few manuals in the Ravenclaw library, since the ones in here are horrendously out of date," the Ravenclaw continued, ignoring the younger girl's attempts at joining the conversation. "Didn't even realize Potter knew how to pick Vassals until I noticed how you served him so naturally. There are just a few minor points of order to address, but with training they'll be forgiven. However, that is for the future, in the present, I'd like to set up a meeting with Potter to discuss matters that should be mutually beneficial to our houses. As you are his vassal, I think that you would likely attend and advise him to ensure he gets the best out of it. Perhaps he might even net the services of another vassal as well?"

"But Har-" Hermione started, only for the now familiar feeling of being ignored to wash over her.

"Yes, Harry's a wonderful young gentleman, and as the last surviving member of a Most Ancient and Noble house, should have more vassals than just you, and possibly young Weasley, though I'm not sure of his motives..." the girl continued to ramble. "I believe that I might help him with a few niceties he's missing, and train you as well."

Hermione looked at the girl incredulously as she marked her place in the book and shut it carefully. Taking a deep breath, she counted to five before speaking. "There's a few things wrong with your offer... First, I am not Harry's vassal. Second, Harry doesn't know anything more about the Wizarding World than I do. And third, I have no idea who you are, so I will not set up any type of appointments until I do."


	37. Forgive Me

I'm back! And I'm bringing the brain bleach with me! Now for some warnings... This is crack, meaning I don't full support what is about to be posted. Honestly, the two portrayed are about as gay as the singers of T.A.T.U., who wrote the song that is being blatantly bastardized here. Thanks to my beta who got this to me in the nick of time for posting tonight, had it not been for offline delays it would have been up at midnight CST. Ah well, let us begin!

* * *

"Harry, Hermy, forgive me..." Ron whispered before standing up in front of the Great Hall, and casting a spell on himself. A moment later, a haunting, synthesized melody filled the air causing him to start gyrating along the length of Gryffindor table, while a blond counterpart stood up and mimicked him over on the Slytherin table. After a few bars, they began singing in perfect synchronization. "All the things he said, all the things he said," the two began, reaching out for their singing partner before gripping the sides of their heads. "Running through my head, running through my head, running through my head..." a faint echo that could have been a whispered refrain repeated that saying as they dropped to the floor and strode towards each other purposefully.

A strange chain link fence sprang up, caging them inside as a sudden rain shower fell from the clear skies played out on the ceiling above, not that either noticed as they continued singing while gazing into each other's eyes. "All the things he said, all the things he said," they repeated until their hands stroked each other's cheeks tenderly, "Running through my head, running through my head, running through my head..."

Again the faint whispered echo sounded as they leaned in to nearly kiss before springing away from each other suddenly. "THIS IS NOT ENOUGH!" Ron belted out passionately as he clung to the fence while Draco brushed a hand over his nearly kissed lips. After a few bars of rest, Ron began singing softly while glancing over at Draco timidly. "I'm in serious shit, I feel totally lost. If I'm asking for help, it's only because..."

Turning to face Draco fully, he strode over and cupped the blonde's cheeks gently. "Being with you has opened my eyes. Could I ever believe such a perfect surprise?"

Draco turned into the hand and kissed the palm lightly before meeting Ron's eyes with his own half-lidded gaze. "I keep asking myself, wondering how..." Draco sang, leaning forward and resting a hand upon Ron's chest. Closing his eyes, he leaned a little more, resting his head upon the hand. "I keep closing my eyes, but I can't block you out. Wanna fly to a place, where it's just you and me."

"Nobody else so we can be free," Draco continued as his eyes snapped open and locked with Ron's

Together the pair continued strongly. "Nobody else so we can be free!"

As the chorus began belting out again, the two of them started circling each other with longing eyes and lingering touches that seemed to be driven by some hidden need. Ron cried out after a minute of their sexually fuelled teasing, "This is not enough!" Turning away he reached out towards his siblings, sitting gobsmacked at the table. "Don't you tell ma!"

His outstretched hand was cupped inside of Draco's, before he was into a hug with the other arm going over his ears to protect him from the sudden explosion of passion in Draco's voice, "THIS IS NOT ENOUUUUGH!"

After a couple more refrains, Ron began again, seeming to have regained his voice, "And I'm mixed up, feeling cornered and rushed..." stepping back, he looked into Draco's eyes as the blonde picked up the next line.

"They say it's my fault, but I want him so much..." Draco sang softly, his hand exploring Ron's messy red hair. "Wanna fly him away, where the sun and rain. Come over my face, wash away all the pain."

Ron smiled goofily as he picked up the song again, his hands tracing the contours of Draco's backside teasingly. "When they stop and stare, don't bother me. Cause I'm feeling for him, what he's feeling for me. I can try to bewitch, they could obliviate."

The two joined in together as they clasped their heads, mindful of the eyes as they powered through the next line. "BUT IT'S DRIVING ME MAD! GOING OUT OF MY HEEEEAAAAD!"

As the refrain kicked off again, the two rested their foreheads against each other, locking eyes in a tender gaze. Neither so much as acknowledge when the images Lucius Malfoy and Molly Weasley appeared against the walls of the Great Hall at opposite ends, giving everyone full view of the imposing visages. After the refrain died out, Ron lifted his head to gaze past Draco at the image of his mother frowning down upon him. "Mother... looking at me, tell me what do you see? Yes, I've lost my mind!"

Draco swirled past Ron, putting himself between the redhead and the domineering portrait of his father ready to make any who crossed him suffer. "Father... looking at me... will I ever be free? Have I crossed the line?"

No-one could find it in themselves to react as the two of them dispelled the fence and strode off into the setting sun through one of the windows that opened, all the while the refrain continued to chant in ever fading volume. Just before they exited the school grounds, they turned and shared a kiss against the backdrop of a setting sun.

Everyone simply turned towards the Weasley Twins with expectant eyes, only for them to slowly shake their heads in denial. "Not us, wish it were. Brilliant prank."


	38. Paranoia?

For those of you with your brains still intact after the last one... I hid the brain bleach under the fifth macguffin from the first book. Good luck! - Reuploaded since it didn't seem to take last night.

* * *

Wild green eyes scanned the surrounding area in near terror as the boy gulped down a wideye potion, staving off sleep for another couple hours. He noted with a bit of satisfaction the girl sharing the couch in the Gryffindor Common Room finishing off her own. They couldn't risk sleeping, not with Voldemort back and out to kill them.

Oh Harry knew on some level that he was constantly in danger, what with the fact that Voldemort has made it into the castle at least twice, and had his Death Eaters in key positions. However, after the disastrous end of the Triwizard Tournament he knew that every shadow might just be hiding Voldemort or one of his lackeys waiting to take out the number one person on Voldemort's long "To Kill List", a ranking that was only slightly higher than the girl sharing the couch with him.

"Any luck on those security wards?" Harry asked softly, knowing that he was risking too much by even voicing the type of wards, but she was looking into so many wards he needed to specify or they'd get into another five hour long discussion about all their research.

Hermione nodded as she slid over a length of parchment, one which Harry exchanged with a length of his own, having long ago perfected the trade-off so that an observer wouldn't grow suspicious about their research. Tucking the notes from Hermione away, he watched the shadows of the common room as they continued working well into the midnight hours. "Found something new, show you later," he muttered, letting her know that he would read her notes when they weren't in public. The blank parchment he left her would be used in one of her other research projects, or maybe even a bit of homework to keep the professors from wondering about them.

While she was doing what he considered the bulk of the research, he knew that his own research was just as valuable, if not more so. First was figuring out just why Voldemort was out to get him, which had to be something that caused him to attack him in the first place, not just their recent encounters. Next, he was working on finding anything at all he could on Occlumency to protect not only his own mind, but also to get Hermione something to protect her own mind without being exposed to Snape's assaults. His final topic of research was to find some way to give him enough of an advantage so that Voldemort wouldn't outright slaughter him during their impending showdown.

At the very least, he was hoping that even if he died, he'd take the bastard down with him.

Not that Hermione would approve of any plan that didn't have Harry living past the end of battle, but he had to take any option available to him. He had originally gone in with the intention of surviving, but once he realized that Hermione was on the chopping block, he'd tossed aside anything that would possibly slow him down. There was more than a few entries that suggested he look into muggle means of fighting, while others warned him against it. These were tossed aside, and he began to formulate his own plans using anything that he could think of, and every dirty trick that Dudley might have considered using on him.

The feel of Hermione shifting on the couch alerted him to something happening, but a quick glance showed it was just her moving so her back was towards him. Taking the unspoken request, he put his back against hers and kept watch over his half of the room.

In about an hour, they would make their way to a corner of the room where they would erect a privacy ward around a portable chamber pot. Harry would protect Hermione while she was in the exposed and compromising position, before she would return the favor for him. They only did this in the middle of the night, when the shadows were dark and thick, ripe for hiding any number of attackers or threats. During the daylight hours, they would use the other lavatories throughout Hogwarts. Their first act would be to do a visual recon, then Harry would check the map. The person using the toilets would keep the map to ensure that no one snuck up on them, while the other would be outside with their wand in hand, ready to fend off any attack.

More than once their housemates had accused them of being paranoid, and needing to relax. However, the two would just chuckle darkly before responding, "It's not paranoia if someone's after you."


	39. Risk-y Business

This was inspired in part by "A Seemingly Simple Game" by Sarah 1281... I might do a proper story based around board games in Hogwarts sometime in the future, not sure.

* * *

Harry blinked as he entered the Gryffindor common room and found Hermione sorting out colored pieces from six different games of Risk. Each one had a colored label on the box itself, and he could almost feel the magic rippling throughout the room each time she put a piece in. It was also a rather odd scene, considering that she continued mumbling about getting a few minutes of peace and quiet without those two children bickering.

"Hermione?" Harry asked cautiously as she nearly slammed a trio of red pieces into their box.

Hermione looked up with a slightly startled look before smiling at him warmly. "Oh, hello, Harry, I'm just finishing up a project..." she explained as she popped a few more pieces into the corresponding boxes. "I'm a little tired of being interrupted from my studies every time Ron and/or Draco has a little pissing match going on. So I had my parents send me a few copies of board games which they used to get me and my cousins to stop fighting. This was a particular favorite... as it took hours to play even a quick game."

"I take it they had a row outside the library?" Harry asked as he helped Hermione up off the ground. "So... it's been three years, and you've waited this long... why?"

"I had to learn the potion to get them to respond to each other and project their actions to the other boards, oh and save up my allowance to buy the six games," Hermione explained while placing the lids on the various copies of the games. "Now to wait for their next fight..."

"Supper, then?" Harry asked curiously as Hermione stacked the boxes off to one side of the fireplace.

"I doubt it would even be that long."

* * *

The suggestion of using the game rather than spells appealed to the two childish berks, especially after it was explained that this could let them settle matters without any loss of points or potential injury to their own bodies. Yet the teaching staff had insisted that the game wait until the weekend, so that the two competitors and the staff serving as judges could read over the rules and not impact their studies too much.

The fact that they could set up the spare boards in various areas around the school meant that the student body could watch the game as it was being played. More than one noted that other parties could lead their own faction in the ordeal. This was acceptable to the staff, though they asked for students to remain neutral until after the first game had been played.

During the week before the game, Harry caught sight of Ron and Draco both putting more effort into their studies than their entire previous years at Hogwarts combined. The library had turned into a battlefield of silence as the two of them pored over books of strategy and warfare, which was a surprising find in the school.

Dumbledore explained that it was from the personal libraries of the Founders and that the books couldn't be removed from circulation at Hogwarts.

The betting pools were going nuts with the odds that were being offered on the contestants. Not only did the event promise to be nearly as popular as Quidditch, but the bets were also going on about how long the game itself would run.

Harry put down his money on the one option that no one else even seemed to consider. It would seem that not a single student considered the extremely long shot option of the game running longer than twelve days. But for three galleons, he felt it was a comfortable bet.

The ability to simply enjoy a conversation without being interrupted by Ron's constant demands for attention was only diminished by the pure joy that Harry was no longer the center of attention around Hogwarts. He could have danced to the Great Hall the morning the game was to start, not a single person was in the halls as he and Hermione made their way to breakfast.

What they walked in on was more amazing than anything they had seen in their previous three years, not a single soul spoke or made a noise louder than a whisper. The vast majority of them were gathered around tables at the four corners of the room, while those that couldn't hover near the display boards watched it being played out on the ceiling above. It was rather interesting sight to see a good number of students laying on the tables, while others looked elsewhere.

The meal was rather awkward, considering they had to ask Seamus to get his head out of the butter long enough for them to move it. Dobby seemed to understand their plague, as he personally popped in and delivered anything that the pair asked for, despite how awkward the two of them felt asking him for special favors like that. The elf explained that in all actuality he was merely serving as a butler, since the rest of the House Elves were bored without having anyone to serve, nearly breaking out in fights to do anything.

The battle of the dirty spoon would go down in the annals of House Elf History.

* * *

Harry smirked as the huge bag of galleons appeared before him during lunch two weeks later, the final reluctant bidders finally paying up on their time wagers. The fact that the game was still going on, with no clear winner after fourteen days came as a great shock. The attention the other students were paying to the game was still at a fevered pitch, with a few students getting their own copies set up for games of their own.

Hermione was extremely pleased with herself as she managed to get not only herself ahead in her studies, but also got Harry to advance his own progress. It was with the free time this afforded him that Harry came up with a new direction to take the battle with Voldemort.

Now all he had to do was await him getting his body back.

* * *

"Kill the spare..." Harry heard as the effects of the portkey wore off and he realized just where he was, some sort of graveyard.

Though the voice was different, he would recognize the dark, hate filled undertone. It was finally time for his plans to begin. Levering himself up, he shouted out before Wormtail could draw his wand. "PARLEY!"

Ancient magic sprang up around the group in a cube of dark purple energy. Four ghost-like beings floated above the sudden flesh statues that had been their bodies. Harry looked down with a surprised expression on his face. "Huh... didn't expect this..."

"You are not what I thought you would be, Potter," Voldemort mused as he looked over his deformed baby form. "What do you wish to say?"

"On my body is a board game, a peace offering if you will," Harry explained while bowing deeply, "A magical version of a muggle game called Risk. All the thrill of conquering the world, and none of the bloodshed for yourself."

The disembodied Voldemort looked at the spiritual form of the boy he had longed to kill for so long as if he'd just asked to be the Dark Lord's apprentice. "And what use is this peace offering to me?"

"A chance to prove once and for all that you are better than Dumbledore, without the chance of dying again," Harry answered while waving towards the baby-like form in Wormtail's arms. "If you promise that Cedric and I are free, we'll even help with getting a new body for yourself."

Three hours and a rather painful blood donation later, Harry and Cedric were safely back at Hogwarts, when a new player joined the school's now internationally famous game. Spawning up in the British Isles, the black pieces started sweeping out at a steady pace.

Harry couldn't help but spend the night laughing like a man possessed as he thought of the war waging across the magical world, without a single loss of life, nor money spend on armies. The bet that he made on surviving to give the bastard his copy of the game was just the icing on the top of the cake.

Three years later, he would be seen receiving the Order of Merlin, First Class with Hermione. When asked about his part in this plan, he simply smiled a serene smile and answered with a chuckle. "Hermione simply told me she had some Risky business and needed my help. Never would I have imagined just how it would spread."

He then looked at a large map on one wall of the atrium of the Ministry, which gave the current state of the game, with a news ticker reading that the commander of the white army had given his board to one of his lieutenants for a short time, due to business at the ICW, and the red army's stalwart commander was busy with his third lunch of the day, before smiling even wider.

There were seldom rewards without Risk after all.


	40. You Might be a Pureblood

"Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, I am Harry Potter, and I will be educating you on Pureblood policies tonight," the scar bearing boy announced as he stood in front of the assembled students. Hermione just sat towards the back of the stage with a devious smirk on her face. The fact that the majority of the students present were muggle-borns or half-bloods was not lost on the small contingent of purebloods that were curious enough to investigate, but they were confident nothing would happen.

"Now I would like to begin by saying, this is not an entirely educational seminar, so if you get offended, remember it's probably a joke," Harry explained with a smile that would have done the Weasley Twins proud, if they weren't sitting in the audience looking worried because of the selfsame grin.

Harry looked back to Hermione, who nodded as the wall changed from a plain grey stone wall into a red brick wall. Harry's outfit changed from the robes of his class attire into a pair of jeans and a red flannel shirt. "Now, let's start off with something that we all know is true. If you can't fight your own battles without calling in one of your parents, you might be a Pureblood."

As Malfoy's face turned a shade of puce that might have done Vernon proud, the rest of the hall began chuckling at the joke. "If you can actually fight your own battles, and invariably win without actually striking, you're a muggleborn," Harry continued to the laughter of the hall.

After a moment of letting the laughter die out, he began to walk on the stage with a laugh to his own voice. "Now, this might seem a bit off, since Purebloods are the most powerful magical blood lines out there-"

"Malfoy, who is the most powerful wizard in known history?" Harry asked the blonde Slytherin with a smile that should have set off alarm bells.

"You-Know-Who," Draco declared, "He will return and-..."

"Silencio!" Harry declared, silencing the rhetoric with a wave of his wand. "A Pureblood will invariably declare either the Dork Lord or Albus Dumbledore to be the greatest wizard in living memory. Now, anyone else?"

"How about Merlin?" Seamus asked from the back of the hall, "Don't all purebloods claim their lineage back to him?"

"Yes, but they don't feel that Merlin could make sunbeams come out of his backside when asked to do something by them," Harry laughed, "He's a myth to them, just like God is to a muggle, that they aspire to be descended from."

Unfortunately, Hermione chose this time to chime in and crush the joke. "Merlin was a real wizard, however they refuse to acknowledge that since he was part-fey," she explained as she walked in wearing a black silk shirt over black jeans. "It is a well-documented fact."

"Which is why they have this mythical Merlin who is the purest of pure wizards, and ignore the real Merlin," Harry explained while getting a blackboard out of thin air, "If you're a muggleborn, Merlin is a great wizard of legend and the most powerful wizard in known history. If you're a pureblood, you aspire to be the follower of Voldemort or Dumbledore, and choose either great Darkness or supposedly pure Light."

"Of course it's easy for them to trace their lineage back to him, since… if your family tree resembles a ball of yarn more than a tree, you might be a pureblood," Hermione explained to the outcries of the purebloods.

Harry got out a piece of string, and started making a net out of it. "If you are a muggle, this is your family tree." Harry said, then bundled it up, "If you are a pureblood, this is your family tree."

"Now to be fair, there is purebloods with a more… standardized family tree model…" Hermione explained as she pulled out a wooden dowel. "Meet the purist family tree, one kid and one kid only for these lucky purebloods."

"Which leads us to another point… If one of your plans for the future is to kill off your father and marry your mother… you're either Oedipus or a pureblood," Harry explained while holding up a picture of Lucius and Narcissa Malfoy, "Not that I can blame some of them… seriously, she is one MILF I'd like to console in her time of grieving…"

The laughter at Draco's impotent rage, coupled with him being all but physically glued to the chair he was sitting in, almost drowned out the sound of Hermione smacking Harry on the head with a newspaper. "Bad Harry! Keep it in your pants."

"HERMIONE!" Harry whined as he rubbed the smacked spot with a petulant look. "Why can't you touch me gently?"

"Because we're trying to have a serious presentation." Hermione stated as she held up the newspaper like a lethal weapon.

"OK, Fine…" Harry said, then went off the stage, and lead a black dog onto the stage.

"Snuffles won't save you this time Harry, now SIT!" Hermione snapped, causing more than just the grim-like dog to find their bottom planted on the ground by her commanding tone.

'Snuffles' then shifted form, turning into Sirius Black. "Well, You wanted a Sirius presentation, didn't you?"

The man looked at the shocked students for a moment with a huge grin on his face before waving his hand. "This is not the man you are looking for."

"This is not the man we're looking for," the audience intoned back in droning tone.

"This is a presentation on Purebloods, not a demonstration of mind tricks using what you watched in Star Wars!" Hermione huffed as she pushed him back towards the stool she had vacated, "Now, can we have a sensible discussion, and Sirius, bad dog, helping him there."

"OK, OK… You win," Harry sighed, checking a piece of paper, "Where was I?"

"I believe you were to the part about a meal being for two or three people for each person," Hermione explained while pointing to the line on the sheet of paper.

"No, that's suppose to be further along… how about that one there? Kinda not liking the whole love potion thing…" Harry answered as he moved her finger up higher on the page. "Can I skip that one?"

"How about we just wrap this up?" Hermione asked as she pointed to the lynch mob of purebloods forming up. "I think they want to talk to you about some of those jokes."

"Right, exit stage left!" Harry called out as he, Hermione and Sirius ran away at full tilt with the mob hot on their heels.


End file.
